tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2852649203273943364.post6431653013410854643..comments2023-11-14T17:44:05.708+03:00Comments on Mai to the Extreme: The Sad and Bad of "Sorry"Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2852649203273943364.post-20019288946384943232013-02-09T18:51:30.534+03:002013-02-09T18:51:30.534+03:00As salaamu alaykum wa Rahmatullah Debbie.
I never...As salaamu alaykum wa Rahmatullah Debbie.<br /><br />I never said anything to imply that we should say something as heartless as your quote of, "Oh well, it was written for him, get over it." Please don't add something to my words or imply a callousness that doesn't exist. Perhaps if you read my response to Candice, you would see that there is no negation of sympathy,empathy, words of condolence, or acts of support. <br /><br />However to say you are sorry someone has to endure something is another matter, as Allah willed it for them...and that is most certainly not something I would utter regret about. I think it is very clearly stated in my writing that we are talking about a sorry that is attached to the feelings of it being unfair, undeserved, or unreasonable, whereas Allah and His tests are never any of those things. <br /><br />If I see someone naked and hungry, I may well help them as best I can, bot I would not say I'm sotry, I'd just extend the helping hand. I cannot oppose Allah's will with my words, I can simply fulfill the rights a fellow human being has over me.<br /><br />I am ever grateful that we are given guidelines by our beloved Prophet (salla Allahu alayhi wa sallam) in such situations, knowing that the best response when someone dies is to say, "Inna l'Illaha wa inna ilayhi raaji'oon." and for other situations, the other responses in this post. We were given the words pleasing to Allah and beneficial to the recipient, and told to extend every help to our brothers and sisters in times of need and otherwise. In sticking to the examples given to us, we cannot go wrong and inshaa Allah, will always please Allahm in both word and deed- ameen.Maihttp://maitotheextreme.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2852649203273943364.post-64464588596279177902013-02-09T16:20:45.324+03:002013-02-09T16:20:45.324+03:00I don't think it means that at all. When you s...I don't think it means that at all. When you say 'sorry to hear your Dad dies' or whatever, you are expressing sympathy with the person's pain - you are sorry they have to endure it, you are sorry you can't ease it. It's a poor human being who can see a person suffering and not wish it not to be so. If someone had said to me when my Dad died of cancer 'oh well, it's what was written for him, get over it' I think I might have punched them square in the face - I am fully aware it is Qadr; that much is plainly self-evident. But it was the kindness of people who empathised and wished they could help - the milk of human kindliness - that eased my heart. And we are all tested, but then part of the test of someones else's pain is to others around him to rush to ease it. And if they don't then that is written as a sin. To see someone hungry and naked and say 'oh it is Qadr' - no; you are sorry they are suffering and you help.<br />Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05025492709452476763noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2852649203273943364.post-80477722857375887042012-10-11T16:48:02.074+03:002012-10-11T16:48:02.074+03:00Yes Candice, it is hard to find appropriate words ...Yes Candice, it is hard to find appropriate words for people who are not-Muslim. I find that focusing on the person's feelings rather than the actual death helps. I do say, "It was their time." Whether someone agrees with that concept or not is not in my control, but it is inoffensive on my part, inshaa'Allah. However, I do say that I understand how much they will miss that person in their lives and emphasize that part of healing is to remember all the good things about them and be grateful for the time they had together. <br /><br />Sometimes, I just cannot say anything, especially when the attitude is that it's not fair. Then I just think to myself, better to be quiet and let my sad look be interpreted however they would like, even though it really is due to their misconceptions. <br /><br />May Allah guide us all to the words and actions that please Him - ameen!Mainoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2852649203273943364.post-59908470177451753552012-10-11T16:33:32.056+03:002012-10-11T16:33:32.056+03:00I always feel uncomfortable saying something like,...I always feel uncomfortable saying something like, "I'm sorry for your loss" or other sorrys that fall in your second category but it's with non-Muslims who may or may not believe in God (I don't really know, this stuff is private) so I'm not sure what I should say. If appropriate, I try to lean towards "It was meant to be" when talking to a person about their life situation or for a death I just focus on saying that it's sad or saying something good about the person... It's hard to stay away from those sorrys...Candicehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15769515811889621243noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2852649203273943364.post-53169931200903336482012-10-07T12:03:37.216+03:002012-10-07T12:03:37.216+03:00We feeki barak Allah Umm Abdul Awwal.
It is so i...We feeki barak Allah Umm Abdul Awwal. <br /><br />It is so important to ask Allah to show us our errors and to keep learning, especially about aspects of tawheed, because it entails not just acknowledging tawheed, but also avoiding all that contradicts that. <br /><br />Al hamdul'Illah that you have benefited from this, and may Allah give you far more than what you have asked for me - ameen!Healing Earthhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01434544812025924667noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2852649203273943364.post-72286968871669219352012-10-07T00:30:34.285+03:002012-10-07T00:30:34.285+03:00SubhaanaAllaah I have never thought about it that ...SubhaanaAllaah I have never thought about it that way. There are so many things we say daily that are wrong islamiclly but we never pay attention to it out of ignorece, may Allaah save us from it. <br /><br />BaarakaAllaahu feek ukhtee Mai, I have benefitted from this post. May Allaah love you.UmmAbdulAwwalnoreply@blogger.com