BismIllah wa as salaamu alaykum.
Ever meet someone who had a problem that never went away? Someone who would call with their latest dramas surrounding the problem and ask for advice? Someone who never took the advice, but simply wanted the attention and "wow" factor that their situation could evoke?
I've met a few of those people during my adult life, mashaa'Allah. I have little tolerance for drama and wallowing in a situation. For me, I take seriously the hadith, "If you see a wrong, change it with your hand. If you cannot, speak out against it, and if that fails, hate it with your heart." Well, I've done all three at different times.
One friend, who was very caught up in a drama, I told directly. It was a simple statement that she was not getting anywhere and simply had become addicted to the attention and sympathy that her situation was getting. I said that if she truly was so upset about it all, she needed to act in accordance with the Quran and the Sunnah.
Another, I felt deeply was not sincere and so left her to dole out the dramatic stories to someone else. After all, Mai is extremely intolerant of people who keep ignoring Allah's Signs and do what THEY want. I was guided to simply hate it with my heart and stay away from that bad companion.
For another, I exercised the patience and diplomacy that is only expended on those souls I truly love for the sake of Allah. I spoke out against it. This time, it didn't work. Qadr Allah, masha' fa'al. (It was Destined by Allah, and He Does as He Wills).
So, what did I learn from all this? shaytaan is truly a clever and underhanded enemy to us. he gets us from so many angles. It starts with feeling the comfort of people to communicate and advise on our problems. Then those people become a part of our life and we thrive on the attention and company. We get used to them dropping everything and focusing solely on us. We become drama addicts. Then, somewhere in our subconscious, we realise that if our problem is resolved, they won't be there anymore. The attention, the "fan club," the support team will go back to their lives because we are fine. And so, shaytaan whispers to keep the drama alive. He whispers not to take the advice and gives an endless stream of reasons. However the real reason is to keep the fitnah, the problem, alive and not act for Allah's pleasure. Even if the problem resolves itself in spite of you, shaytaan will present all manner of other things to turn into dramas to illicit the craved for attention.
Audhu b'Illahi min asshaytaan irrajeem!
Asalaam ualaikum warahamatullahee wabarakatu...after doing the reading you had mentioned to me earlier, I think sometimes, especially the sisters with the "Western" mentality/outlook, are so used to being the manipulators in a situation, we don't realize it. Yes, we are given clear instructions in Islam in regards to how we are supposed to behave; alas Allah makes us the "weaker" gender; but our past upbringing remains as a place for shaytan to whisper to us; so while we acquiesce as the weaker gender, this manipulation is the only way we can feel as if we have any control at all. At the end of the day, we have to say what we feel in our hearts, because while it may or may not be listened to by the direct person, it will go on to affect others in a positive light, if you will. We have to be the doorway, even if the Light, the door is Allah.
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