Wednesday, August 24, 2011

August 2011

Bism Illah wa as salaamu alaykum wa Rahmat Allah wa Barakatuh.

Here we all are, in the last few days of Ramadhan. The third for Mercy is finished, the third for forgiveness has passed, and the erasing of sins is passing through like a steam train. The final night of Ramadhan and it's promise of forgiveness lies ahead, like a gleaming, precious prize within sight. Turn to Allah in sincerity. Turn to Allah with your heart open. Turn to Allah with every ounce of regret and repentance you have. Turn to Allah with desperation and need. Turn to Allah with total reliance and love. Turn to Allah with heart-wrenching tears. Remember, you do little things for Him, but He does everything for you.

Carpe Diem

As this Ramadhan has progressed, the children and I have been almost exclusively in the house. We have literally spent our days reading Qur'an, praying, reading the Daily Sittings, and having other little injections of 'ilm and adaab throughout the day. It has been precious.

It made me reflect on how time-sensitive Ramadhan is... and how many other things are as well. I have been considering how dangerous it is to plan for the future at the expense of the present. It is critical to consider what is important right now. What should take priority? Ask yourself, "What am I supposed to do? What is optional? What is urgent? What is necessary right now for a better later and what is necessary later for a better future?"

Of course, we must plan and look forward. However, we must attend to the present day needs, especially in the raising and educating of our children, our ibaadah, and our development in our religion. Let's not fool ourselves that if we procrastinate it is justified. Procrastination is from shaytaan. Procrastination makes us seem unreliable, inconsistent, and not true to our word. Time sensitive things should not be procrastinated about, because the chance to do them doesn't return...and we won't just be asked about what we did in this life, but also what we failed to do. 

Gifts for the Giver

Gifts come in many forms, but those material gifts we receive deserve some consideration. One example came to me recently that I want to share with you all.

I don't bother using a prayer rug/mat very often. However, I have been given prayer mats over the years and I have them distributed between the United States, England, and Madinah. I make a point to use my prayer mats/rugs for every prayer, choosing different places to make sujood, in an attempt to eventually make sujood on every bit of the mat. They were gifts to me. so, although I would be more inclined to pray on the bare floor, I want those who gave me the gifts to reap as much reward as possible from them. It is my gift of appreciation to them and inshaa'Allah an increasing of their account in illiyeen. They gave me a gift and my gift in return is to give them as much reward for that gift as possible.

This doesn't just pertain to prayer mats, but to any and all gifts given. If I cannot use it or know I won't do it justice, I ask Allah to give them reward for it as if I used it every day and I seek someone who it will benefit so that the giver can get additional reward and the gift is put to good use. This is some food for thought, especially as Eid is approaching and some gifts may be given and received.

An Amazing Thought

For many reverts, we struggle with our parents and loved ones not accepting Islam. In addition, it is hard on a believer's heart to think of another going astray and being destined for the Fire, audhu b'Illah! Recently, I was talking to somebody who has relatives who have consistently been off-track Islamically for some time. They hurt deeply over it and it costs them time, stress, and tears.

When I thought about how people dread the idea of their loved ones entering into an eternal punishment, I realized something mind-blowing. We are told by Allah that in Jennah we will never have a bad feeling or be unhappy; it isn't possible there. We also know that when the time comes and the Horn is blown twice and our accounts are handed to us, we will be focusing only on our situation with Allah. There is no room for looking around at what's going on with any others. After that, should we be of the blessed ones who are admitted to Jennah, we will have nothing but eternal bliss. In other words, we think that it will be unbearable for us to have any loved one in the hellfire, but actually it won't have any impact on us at all. Once we get to that stage, there are no such feelings, there is no such trial for us. The idea is horrific in this life, but the reality will be nothing. Subhaan Allah! For all of you that had that figured out from day one, never mind about me...I'm a bit slow at times. LOL.

The Love of Your Life
Many times I hear from sisters about their struggles in marriage and in searching for a spouse. Women look for the man who will be their everything, and they often call their husband the love of their life. They build their lives around a man... and so Allah sends them various tests. Why? Because we are supposed to build our lives around Allah. If we please Allah, we will please those good people around us as well. If we please Allah, He will give us beautiful relationships in this dunya filled with deep love, for His sake. I've said it various times in the past, but sisters please don't pin all your hopes and dreams on any man - he is but a human being, made to err and imperfect. Pin all your hopes and dreams on Allah, subhaana wa taala, and then strive beside the man Allah has decreed for you to strive beside and be happy with His decree.

Latest Cyber Discoveries

A World of Green Muslims
Islam in Perspective, Arab News.

Okay, rather than make this post any later than it already is, I'll leave it at that and hit publish.

Allah, subhaana wa taala, sends me idea after idea... revelation after revelation...concept after concept (alhamdul'Illah!) and I'm acting on them and communicating them to you. If there is any benefit from these ideas, it is ONLY attributable to Him, azza wa jal and any error is from shaytaan and my own, imperfect self. May Allah forgive me for my sins and mistakes, known and unknown. May Allah forgive us all - ameen.


  1. Aslkm
    I just want to apologize for any offence I may have caused to you or your husband (repeated comments re failed marriages ) pls forgive me. May Allah reward you all for all your endeavours and sacrifices iA

    (Also to Daisy - although I am NOT stalker anonymous - can't post on her site - pls convey to her iA (sorry for this too)

    plse delete this comment if u wish


  2. What a beautiful post, I don't think I have read many of your posts before. This is a perfect time (as Ramadan comes to an end) to truly reflect on these things.

    Salam alaikum.

  3. Mai...I am wondering if I can ask for your help with something.

    Can you email me at

    Hope to hear from you.

  4. Assalaamu alaikum dear sister,

    I have been meeting you on Bonnie's blog, but today after your comment on the baby naming issue, I thought I just have to visit you at your own home :-). And well, as soon as have more time, I shall be reading the rest of your blog as well as rereading this post (yes, I do think right now I am a bit on a slower side, lol). Just wanted to note on the unbelieving family, I am dealing with this right now deeply and yes you are right (well, seems like you have the knowledge Mashallah). But I also think that we will be asked about what we did to help our closest people to find the right way. I mean you did not say otherwise, I am just at a point in my life when starting to seriously think about what I need to do about it and may Allah help me as it is going to be a hard job for me. And it is actually the main reason why I took to blogging myself even though it is not at all obvious in it's content, at least not yet :-)
    Anyway, let me stop talking.
    Sister, may you and your family have a blessed Eid.
    I will Inshallah visit you again.
    May He bless you for the inspiration you gave me today, I actually feel my heart softening a bit and may He reward YOU for it.

  5. Mai,

    I just scrolled to the bottom of the page to 'About me'. You are 46? I don't know what's happening Subhanallah, but I am crying here. I just feel like I want you to be my mother. Let me not get into explaining this rationally, it just overwhelmed me. May Allah bless you and may he guide me closer to Him.

  6. Wa alaykum as salaam wa Rahmat Allah wa Barakatuh sister Lenka.

    Welcome, make yourself at home here, and I am more than happy to "adopt" you. After all, we can never have enough good sisters...or mothers (smile).

    From what you wrote, I think you will find my da'wah posts very helpful. My father, through Allah's Guidance alone, became Muslim 3-4 years ago and he is 73 years old now mashaa'Allah. The most powerful da'wah is by example. Nothing beats it and it even reaches those people who won't listen to a word about religion. You do your part, the rest is up to Allah.

    I can tell that you are struggling with various issues and I hope you have a chance to read my post, It Took Years. I think you will find much comfort and healing in it.

    Ameen to your dua' and for any good you find here, thank Allah.

    Much love and a big hug,


  7. Salam Alaikum Mai!
    I am astounded again and again at how your messages are meant for me from Allah azza wa jal! SubhanAllAH!. I really really loved the line where you said something along the lines of pinning your hopes and dreams on Allah and then striving our best beside the man he decreed for us!. Now thats where the secret to marital happiness lies! Lol. sometimes I think I over think all the hadith about the importance of pleasing ones husband. Don't get me wrong they are extremely important points too but Allah comes firts!! thanks for putting it soo eloquently!! MaaShaAllah!. Ohh and about procrastinating.. I guess thats kinda what I am doing right now ahhhhhh.... :S. Lol better get back to my assignment!
    May you always grow closer to Allah swt.
    Umm Raya

  8. Salaams Mai :)

    I was wondering if I could ask you something. I did a ecent post on my blog about how if I remarry my ex husband wants custody of our son now I always though that was his Islamic right since there is a haadith on it. However now every single Muslimah is telling me i'm wrong and he doesn't have this right. I'm so confused as I was so sure I was correct and he could have him. Would you please let me know?

  9. Wa alaykum as salaam wa Rahmat Allah wa Barakatuh Bonnie :D

    Subhaan Allah, this subject keeps coming up with sisters and so many insist that their idea or opinion is right. As a general rule, when you hear things that go against what you have read in the Quran, its explanation (tafseer), or sahih hadith, then you must ask for proof from those sources. In most cases, the sisters who say these things cannot provide any sound proof, and are speaking from an emotional viewpoint and their own logic.

    The mother of a child, in general, has custody of the child up to the age of 7. If, however, she marries during that time period, the father has the immediate right to take custody of the child. The reason for this is that the father is ultimately responsible for the raising of the child. Leaving the child in the mother's care, provided she is a practicing Muslimah and takes good care, is fine. The issue is that he doesn't have to accept another man raising his child.

    I think you can understand that if you were to remarry, your new husband would be head of the household. You would obey him foremost, second only to Allah. He would have the say about how things were run in your home and this could affect the raising of your child in a way that the father of the child does not approve of or like.

    Just because these are the father's rights, that doesn't mean that he will exercise them. Many men, faced with the reality of a situation, don't want to bother. Many men do not even take the children after they have reached the age of 7, although that is the time that they must be taught how to pray, etc.

    A man, if in discord with his ex-wife, can even take the nursing baby and have it nursed by someone else. In your case, he hasn't even bothered to fulfill you or your child's basic rights. He has committed a MAJOR SIN in accusing you of infidelity. I'd be very interested to see how he is going to fly there, claim his son, and enforce his rights based on the he actions, or lack thereof, so far.

    That said, it is important that you are aware of all this so you can prepare yourself for any eventuality. Never forget, Allah's plan is perfect. You do what is right, Allah will do the rest.

    Dua', hugs, and much LOVE,