Bism Illah wa as salaamu alaykum wa Rahmat Allah wa Barakatuh.
A thousand apologies! I have not, in any way, managed to get my act together and develop all the deep-as-the-ocean thoughts I've been having over these past months. In fact, I have this epic post about shaytaan's sneaky plans which I've added to here and there, but still cannot wrap it up and present it to you all. Perhaps a big dua' is in order for me to really put things together and make a decent contribution in February...which is just a matter of hours away.
Anyway, what I read this past couple of months was notable in that it is a subject we don't think about too much. It also was a verification of several points I've firmly believed, advocated for, and adhered to over the years. The book is called, "Waswasah, The Whispering of the Shaitan." and it is excellent preparation for my upcoming post, bi ithn Illah ta'ala, on shaytaan's sneaky plans. If you scroll down to the bottom of this page you will find the book available for download.
If your really in a reading mood, I highly recommend the book Patience and Gratitude on that same page. I'm working my way through all the books and, as always, benefiting immensely, mashaa'Allah.
Goodbye January...and to all who have asked me why I haven't updated this blog, sorry for the no-show!
A blog of my realities and desperate striving to please my Creator while being a daughter, wife, mother, friend, and human being on this earth. It's ALL about Jennah (Heaven) and getting through this life with that clear goal in sight.
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Quieter and Quieter
BismIllah wa as salaamu alaykum wa Rahmat Allah wa Barakatuh.
For most of my life, I have suppressed negative feelings until they had built up so much that my whole demeanor changed. I could not go about my daily life without the negative feelings dominating my thoughts, attitude, and reactions. Most usually, I would end up blurting out my "issues" in a way that was neither well-planned or well-presented.
Well, that has changed all thanks and praise be to Allah, subhaana wa taala. These past few months, whenever I have negative feelings, I literally bite my tongue (gently...no self-abuse syndrome, LOL). My husband and I cannot help but laugh when I do it, mashaa'Allah. I purposely press my lips together. When specifically asked to speak, I really take my time and strive to relay basic facts or events from my own perspective, and/or objectively, rather than comment on others.
Then I read this:
Increasingly I avoid saying, "I told you so," or mention that I had advised against something that ended up going wrong. I don't even speak out about the things I disagree with anymore. I stay quiet and then I say, "May Allah keep you well! May Allah keep you right!" My husband and I literally laugh out loud, mashaa'Allah.
Now you all may be wondering what the result of all this has been so far. Those things I have managed to hold my tongue about, which were communicated to Allah for help and resolution, are coming to light, being examined, and being resolved, mashaa'Allah. I didn't speak about them, except to the One ("You alone I turn to and You alone I ask for help" - Surah al Fatiha, ayah 4).
Some things take time, but when you see Allah take over your affairs and rectify them without you speaking a single word about them to others, it is a great incentive to get quieter and quieter.
We only ever used to speak to our husbands like you address your commanders and leaders: [we would supplicate for them when talking to them] “May Allâh keep you right!”, “May Allâh keep you well!”
Abû Nu’aym, Hilyatu Al-Awliyâ` 5:198.
We only ever used to speak to our husbands like you address your commanders and leaders: [we would supplicate for them when talking to them] “May Allâh keep you right!”, “May Allâh keep you well!”
Abû Nu’aym, Hilyatu Al-Awliyâ` 5:198.
It is reported that the wife of Imâm Sa’îd b. Al-Musayyib – Allâh have mercy on him – said:
We only ever used to speak to our husbands like you address your commanders and leaders: [we would supplicate for them when talking to them] “May Allâh keep you right!”, “May Allâh keep you well!”
Abû Nu’aym, Hilyatu Al-Awliyâ` 5:198.
Subhaan Allah...this post is to mark progress in my development and give many of you hope. I am, by nature, a communicator and a sincere, caring advisor. In other words, I usually have something to say about other people's ideas, situations, and plans when they are presented to me. However, it hasn't always elicited a positive reaction, especially when I was not in agreement or felt strongly about it from an Islamic perspective.We only ever used to speak to our husbands like you address your commanders and leaders: [we would supplicate for them when talking to them] “May Allâh keep you right!”, “May Allâh keep you well!”
Abû Nu’aym, Hilyatu Al-Awliyâ` 5:198.
For most of my life, I have suppressed negative feelings until they had built up so much that my whole demeanor changed. I could not go about my daily life without the negative feelings dominating my thoughts, attitude, and reactions. Most usually, I would end up blurting out my "issues" in a way that was neither well-planned or well-presented.
Well, that has changed all thanks and praise be to Allah, subhaana wa taala. These past few months, whenever I have negative feelings, I literally bite my tongue (gently...no self-abuse syndrome, LOL). My husband and I cannot help but laugh when I do it, mashaa'Allah. I purposely press my lips together. When specifically asked to speak, I really take my time and strive to relay basic facts or events from my own perspective, and/or objectively, rather than comment on others.
Then I read this:
It is reported that the wife of Imam Sa'id B. Al-Musayyib - Allah have mercy on him - said:
We only ever used to speak to our husbands like you address your commanders and leaders: [we would supplicate for them when talking to them] "May Allah keep you right!", "May Allah keep you well!"
From the Manners of a Wife with her Husband
It is reported that the wife of Imâm Sa’îd b. Al-Musayyib – Allâh have mercy on him – said:
We only ever used to speak to our husbands like you address your commanders and leaders: [we would supplicate for them when talking to them] “May Allâh keep you right!”, “May Allâh keep you well!”
Abû Nu’aym, Hilyatu Al-Awliyâ` 5:198.
After the death of his wife Umm Sâlih, Imâm Ahmad – Allâh have mercy on them, used to praise her. He once said:
In the thirty years she was with me, we never had a single word of disagreement.
Al-Khatîb Al-Baghdâdî, Târîkh Baghdâd 16:626.It is reported that the wife of Imâm Sa’îd b. Al-Musayyib – Allâh have mercy on him – said:
We only ever used to speak to our husbands like you address your commanders and leaders: [we would supplicate for them when talking to them] “May Allâh keep you right!”, “May Allâh keep you well!”
Abû Nu’aym, Hilyatu Al-Awliyâ` 5:198.
Abu Nua'ym, Hilyatu al-Awliya 5:198
It is reported that the wife of Imâm Sa’îd b. Al-Musayyib – Allâh have mercy on him – said:After the death of his wife, Umm Salih, Imam Ahmad - Allah have mercy on them - used to praise her. He once said:
We only ever used to speak to our husbands like you address your commanders and leaders: [we would supplicate for them when talking to them] “May Allâh keep you right!”, “May Allâh keep you well!”
Abû Nu’aym, Hilyatu Al-Awliyâ` 5:198.
In the thirty years she was with me, we never had a single word of disagreement.
Al-Khatib Al-Baghdadi, Tarikh Baghdad 6:626
Increasingly I avoid saying, "I told you so," or mention that I had advised against something that ended up going wrong. I don't even speak out about the things I disagree with anymore. I stay quiet and then I say, "May Allah keep you well! May Allah keep you right!" My husband and I literally laugh out loud, mashaa'Allah.
Now you all may be wondering what the result of all this has been so far. Those things I have managed to hold my tongue about, which were communicated to Allah for help and resolution, are coming to light, being examined, and being resolved, mashaa'Allah. I didn't speak about them, except to the One ("You alone I turn to and You alone I ask for help" - Surah al Fatiha, ayah 4).
Some things take time, but when you see Allah take over your affairs and rectify them without you speaking a single word about them to others, it is a great incentive to get quieter and quieter.
From the Manners of a Wife with her Husband
It is reported that the wife of Imâm Sa’îd b. Al-Musayyib – Allâh have mercy on him – said:We only ever used to speak to our husbands like you address your commanders and leaders: [we would supplicate for them when talking to them] “May Allâh keep you right!”, “May Allâh keep you well!”
Abû Nu’aym, Hilyatu Al-Awliyâ` 5:198.
From the Manners of a Wife with her Husband
It is reported that the wife of Imâm Sa’îd b. Al-Musayyib – Allâh have mercy on him – said:We only ever used to speak to our husbands like you address your commanders and leaders: [we would supplicate for them when talking to them] “May Allâh keep you right!”, “May Allâh keep you well!”
Abû Nu’aym, Hilyatu Al-Awliyâ` 5:198.
If silence is golden, then dua' must be platinum...
because it gets you through all those times you are silent.
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