Mai and the Rifq

BismIllah wa assalaamu alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.

Allah sent a test to me, wa alhamdul'Illahi Rabbil aal ameen! It was not the usual test, where He places some great difficulty, fitnah, or painful experience in my life that I have to remain patient through with tawakkal. It was something that was personal, a questioning and suspicion about my words, my religion, my manhaj. This test shook me to the core, had me sick and shaking for almost two weeks, because it planted the doubt in my mind that I had a fault in my aqeedah and had said or done something incorrect that was against Allah, and the perfection of Islaam.

The biggest issue surrounding the test, is that the people who questioned about me did not come to me to ask about whatever the matters are. They did not seek any clarity from me or complete information on any issues or concerns they had with me. They did not find mistakes in my explanations and advise me with daleel, but rather contacted someone else with screenshots of quotes from some things I wrote. To date, I don't know what those quotes are. I don't know if the quotes were sent as part of the total writing, to ensure they would be understood in context, or simply taken out of context as individual statements. That is a lot of not knowing, maashaa Allah.  

I prayed istikhara about this blog and had clear signs that I was not to stop it or close it. However, I made it private for the past month or so, in order to review the posts and try to see where there might be things that could be misunderstood or misinterpreted. Allahu aalam, anything can be interpreted badly if viewed through a negative lens but I can only seek refuge with Allah from that. However, reviewing is a process that has been of great benefit because I had a chance to spring clean and improve on some posts alhamdul'Illah. I also hoped that I would hear something from somebody regarding the issues, in case I needed to make changes, but still nothing Qadr Allahu wa maa shaa fa'al. This blog is now being checked through by an established student of knowledge, Baarak Allahu feehee wa jazaahullahu khayr. If I am informed of any errors, I will correct them and post clearly about them inshaa Allah.

I have written on several occasions over the years, asking that if there are any mistakes or clarifications needed, to please let me know. In fact, I was approached by a dear sister with concerns about a few wordings in my posts and the permissibility of  using personal experiences as examples for da'wah. I immediately sent out a notification and removed the capital letters in My therapist, clearly seeing where the danger lay. I then checked the other issues for scholarly proof through a student of knowledge to learn the status of them. I am not even asking for private communication; I gladly accept public questions by way of a comment on the post in question. I have had a few people ask for clarification or challenge certain points, which you can see I happily addressed. I know me and my intent; I can explain me and what I write bi idhn Illah ta'ala.

I am human and make mistakes but they are not intentional and are not based on me writing without a clear source of knowledge (Qur'aan, Sunnah, scholars). I have never followed a madhab and have based all my understanding on Salafiyyah for my 28 years in Islam, maashaa Allah. It has been a learning curve, and I hope that others can learn from my mistakes and experiences. As I learn at a basic level, I implement it in my life, and then I call to it - within the limitations Allah sets upon me. Please remember who I am - a middle aged nobody who loves Allah and calls others to Him in the rudimentary and basic way that I am able to - nothing more, nothing less.  May Allah protect you from any harm from me and benefit you with all that is good from Him.

Most of the things I write about are general reminders. If I remind sisters to make a little change to please their husbands, it is a general thing. If a sister has a demanding husband and a little change isn't enough to evoke any pleasure from him, that is a specific situation that would require a specific response. Please do read things in context, not picking out sentences to derive a meaning that doesn't exist when included in a paragraph or whole subject.

Alhamdul'Illah, I have been focusing on this beautiful naseehah from Shaykh Saalih as-Sindee for the past few days. If you have time, I highly recommend you read it. It gives order, direction,focus, encouragement, and comfort. However, I have included an excerpt near the end that was so important, subhaan Allah, that I had to include it in this post.

Establish the Deen in Yourself and Your family and Then call others to it – Shaykh Saalih as-Sindee 

September 12, 2009

 "Know that shaytan is extremely diligent in trying to bring about separation between people who follow the correct manhaj. And for this reason, we hear many times about the differences and the separation amongst the Salafees in the lands of the West, in the lands of the kufaar. This requires that we come together and work together to solve this problem.

And from the greatest things required from us all, so we can solve this problem, is that we get rid of something we may have in our hearts, and this is evil thoughts (suspicion), or suu-a-dhan.

We have to have good thoughts about our brothers, and not have evil suspicion. If we see something from our brother that is incorrect or could [go] either way, we should strive to get this thought out of our heads. This is the only way we can kill the fitna that shaytan will want to cause between us.

We claim that we follow the way of the Salaf. Then, let us look at the brotherhood they had [and those who followed them], and you can base your conditions upon this example.

At one point, Imam Shafi’ee (may Allaah have mercy on him) became sick, and one of his students – his most famous student al-Muzanee – made du’aa: “may Allaah make your weakness stronger.”

Imam Shafi’ee said: “If my weakness became stronger, I would die.”

The student said: Wallaahi, I didn’t intend anything except good.

{Shaikh as-Sindee commented: “And look how the Imam Ash-Shafi’ee dealt with his students”}

Imam Shafi’ee said: If you had cursed me explicitly, I (still) would have known that you really didn’t mean it. [Source later supplied by Shaikh as-Sindee: In Shaikh ul-Islaam Ibn Taymiyyah’s refutation upon al-Bakri, and Ibn Taymiyyah (may Allaah have mercy on him) called it “a well-known story.”]

This is Husn-u-dhan.