As salaamu alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh!
A dear sister just sent me a message, asking me to forgive her for a comment she made over 11 years ago. Oh, how I love this sister! Oh, how I feel that total connection to her! Why? Because I sit and mull over all sorts of things that I am sorry for, that I make istighfar for, and that I seek forgiveness for. I worry that I've hurt or upset people, I constantly fear that I didn't say or do the best thing. Needless to say, I apologize a lot and make istighfar a lot.
I went through so much when I responded to her 11 years ago, trying to be thorough but not displeasing to Allah in my manners. And even now, looking back, I worry that I didn't respond in the best way. So, to this dear sister, and to every sister who has ever asked for my forgiveness, I ask you to forgive me.
We are all human, we are all imperfect, and subhaan Allah, we struggle through SO MANY TESTS every day! Forgive before anyone can even ask. Make istighfar and seek forgiveness to clear your heart and mind. Then just keep on trucking, doing what you can to please Allah.
I seriously need this blog. Life gets me busy, I let so much distract me, but Allah Knows I need to share my struggles and thoughts again. Inshaa Allah this is the push I needed.
Much love to you all.
Subhaan Allahi wa bi hamdihi, laa illaaha ila Ant, astaghfiruka wa atoobu ilayk.
Dear, dear Mai,
ReplyDeleteAllah nudged me to revisit your blog because I remembered some posts that were relevant to my current situation (husband is marrying, but that's not the issue. The woman is deceiving her family about his being married and husband has gone on board with the lie. He's never been a liar, so I'm shocked that he's done it and terrified to be so near to their lie and its consequences. He claims he'll remedy the situation once they're married, but I don't understand how either of them can believe anything started with haram can bring any goodness. All I can do is pray my children and I be protected from the fallout).
I remembered my awful comment and looked for it. I couldn't get it off my heart until I'd reached out to you. Subhanallah, subhanallah, that was YOUR nudge. We both needed something from this blog and the One Who Orders All Affairs pushed us toward it in the most astonishing way.
I pray you'll get exactly what you need from revisiting it, that you'll be richly rewarded for all the knowledge you've spread with your writing, and that Allah will surround you with loved ones of like heart who will always be up for long walks.
Subhaan Allah is right! Subhaan Allah to infinity! By now, the perfection of Allah's response to our needs, to our desperate pleas, is so completely 100% reliable and unfailing that I no longer have words. I have tears, a heart full to bursting with love and appreciation for His Love and Provision.
DeleteYou made me cry! Baarak Allahu feekee wa jazaak Illahu khayr for your beautiful du'a and for giving me a feeling that I benefit others, which is a validation of what I strive for.
As I read your situation, I could immediately identify the posts that so pertinently address it. I have no doubt that Allah will protect you and your children, as He promises His faithful believers. However, be prepared to witness the lessons He sends when things aren't clean, clear, and transparent. May He, subhaanahu wa ta'ala, guide and rectify us all - Ameen!