Confirmation from the Source!

 Assalaamu alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.

Many moons ago I wrote a post entitled Raising Good Muslims. It was something very close to my heart as I had dear sisters who were lamenting that they had failed in their mothering. The catch was that I didn't have older children at the time. All my children were very young, or not even born. Now here I am, many moons later, with an 18-year-old, a 15-year-old, and a 9-year-old, alhamdulillah. 

So, when my 18-year-old told me that she felt like a revert as she discovered her faith for herself, I felt that I'd come full circle back to my Raising Good Muslims post. That her journey had begun, and it was one only she could travel on, Allahumma Baarik alayhaa. It was a beautiful feeling, but not because my parenting had been validated in some way. Most certainly it was not validated in any way, as I couldn't put myself into her shoes and travel her path. It was a feeling of absolute joy simply because someone I love so dearly is now tasting the sweetness of Islaam, the comfort of emaan, and finding her identity as an especially blessed creation of Allah. At most, I can simply praise and thank Allah for answering my du'a for her and pray for Him to keep her steadfast.

I can finally confirm, from a personal experience, that most certainly you cannot do what only Allah can do...you cannot put faith in, guidance from, or love of Allah into anyone's heart. You can only model, live Islam, make the connections for your children throughout their lives and pray for them. Aside from the part you play in their journey, the actual journey is theirs alone. 

May Allah guide all our children to His Siraat il Mustaqeem - ameen!

Subhaanaka Allahumma wa bi hamdika wa astaghfirullahu wa attoobu ilayk. 

Remember me?

 Assalaamu alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakaatuh!

I decided to pay my blog a visit and found that there was so much benefit for me in reviewing what I wrote over the years, alhamdulillah. That led me to thinking, I wonder how the sisters are? Are they wondering if I've practiced what I preached and succeeded or struggled or failed? Where are they all now and where am I?

So, here I am! Alhamdulillah, I am alive! Alhamdulillah, I am well! Alhamdulillah, I am thriving! Alhamdulillah, my marriage and my family are growing, evolving, and enduring! I have, indeed, practiced what I preached and when I slipped up, I just stuck to the plan of keeping my eye on the goal and just kept on with life. 

I am back because I realized that I will benefit from sharing some thoughts again, and perhaps you will too. So if anyone is out there reading, get ready  because I am going to start sharing some experiences, thoughts, and life epiphanies again inshaa Allah!

Love, love, and love!

A Rap Song I've been working on for around 14 years

Assalaamu alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh

Before you think I've fallen into sin, writing a rap song, check out the lyrics and the motivation. It's a work in progress, and any additions you may have are welcome!

I wear my pants, Baggy cut

Flashin' my drawers and half my butt

'Cause I'm a dumbo

Uh uh uh

I'm a dumbo

If I try to run around

My pants make a puddle on the ground

'Cause I'm a dumbo

Uh uh uh

I'm a dumbo

I wear my pants tight as can be

Crotch right down to my knees

'Cause I'm a dumbo

Uh uh uh

I'm a dumbo

I think I'm cool, super fly

Plumber's crack in your eye

'Cause I'm a dumbo

Uh uh uh

I'm a dumbo

Skinny jeans, muffin top

Look just like a cake pop

'Cause I'm a dumbo

Uh uh uh

I'm a dumbo

Shaved my eyebrows, drew a line

Look amazed all the time

'Cause I'm a dumbo

Uh uh uh

I'm a dumbo

It has the children cracking up, maashaa Allah. 

You see, I wanted to satirize pop culture fashion so the children could see the ridiculous side of it, not just think it was "cool." Just telling children that it isn't Islamic or something we shouldn't imitate may not change their viewpoint, but giving them a different perspective, something that will stick in their heads and make them laugh when they see an example of it, may well reach them more effectively.  As part of my mothering strategies I come up with a lot of nutty stuff to give a different view of what's considered "in, hip, cool, etc." and success is only with Allah, Who knows best.

Subhaanak Allahumma wa bihamdik, laa illaaha illaa ant, astaghfiruka wa atoobu ilayk.

Intentions

Bism Illah wa assalaamu alaykum.

Ever find yourself held to account by others for the things you didn't do,continue, or complete?  I'm not talking about blameworthy issues where you were lazy or negligent, as those things are from shaytaan. I'm talking about praiseworthy and good things you intended to do, but other events, circumstances,  or constraints (Allah's Qadr) delayed or prevented you. Well, here's my du'a for you.

May Allah reward you for all the good you do and all the good you intend to do, because you plan and Allah Plans, but only Allah's Plan will happen.

Are your reminders benefiting you?

Bism Illah wa assalaamu alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.

What ever happened to the reminder benefiting the believer? Subhaan Allah, when we see another make an error and simply send a hadith or statement of reminder, not even directly addressing their specific issue, we can be accused of attacking them.

Language is so misused. A careful and caring reminder is not an attack. Sincerely addressing an error or fault is done out of love.

When reminded, or even when attacked, I believe the best response is to take it to heart. Immediately make istighfar and look for the error of your ways, or the truth in the statement.  Be guilty until proven innocent in your own court.

Sometimes you will find that you've been misunderstood, misjudged, or been the object of bad suspicions. But even then, you must consider what you did that left the door open to be misconstrued and seek to close that door in the future.

Rather than immediately jumping to your own defense, jump start your own taqwa and seek the lesson or rectification that the reminder is meant for.

Subhaanaka, Allahumma wa bihamdik, laa illaaha illaa Ant, astaghfiruka wa atoobu ilayk.

Letting Go

BismIllah wa assalaamu alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.

For most of my years as a Muslimah, I have asked Allah to use me to benefit others and be a positive influence. That is a big deal to me. However, there have been situations in my life where I have tried to help and failed, Qadru Allahi wa maa shaa faal. What I didn't pay enough attention to was the Qadru Allahi wa maa shaa faal part. I churned my failures over and over in my mind, feeling ill considering what I did wrongly or aspects I missed. I held myself accountable for my inability to solve, resolve, or alleviate others' problems.

Finally, alhamdulillah, I internalized the fact that the only way I have ever helped anyone was by Allah's Will; I understood that it was not in my control. Those situations I could not benefit were never within my ability to benefit. I, nonsensically, held myself accountable for something outside of my ability.

So, this is about letting go. Letting go of guilt and misery about what I cannot control. No more profuse apologies and sleepless nights, but rather, Qadru Allahi wa maa shaa faal. Better to hang on to those feelings of guilt and misery in regard to the things within my ability that I fall short in. Most surely, focusing on those can bring benefit and positivity to myself and those around me.

Subhaanak, Allahummah wa bihamdik, laa ilaaha ilaa ant, astaghfiruka wa atoobu ilayk.