Your first response changes your whole life!

 Assalaamu alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.

Subhaan Allah wa alhamdulillah wa laa illaaha ila Allah wa Allahu Akbar!

There is not a single thing that Allah sends that isn't a blessing, whether clear or disguised. Not a single thing!

Before I go any further, let's just think of the story of Musa and Khidr in Surat ul Kahf. Musa assumed the worst of Khidr's actions, told him off, until Khidr said okay, that's it...and before parting with Musa explained the reality of his actions. Those actions were done for the sake of Allah! They were done at Allah's command! They were done in obedience to Allah! They were done for the best of reasons, which were not obvious to the onlooker, unless...

and here's where we come to the big reveal. If Musa had said one phrase upon seeing Khidr make a hole in the boat, kill the boy, and rebuild the wall it would have changed his whole mindset. What is that phrase? 

Alhamdulillah!

All thanks and praise are for Allah!

So the lesson we learn from that story is that qadr Allahu wa maa shaa fa'al - Allah decreed it and He does what He Wills and that Allah's Plan is the only Perfect Plan. 

Certainly, we must know Allah - His Names and Attributes - to understand that everything He sends is for our good, therefore there is good in everything He sends, hence we say first and foremost: alhamdulillah. 

How does this help us? Because sabr - patience - is at the first strike. Saying alhamdulillah reminds us first that we need to thank Allah for whatever He sends to us and praise Him for it. It changes your mindset immediately to see, or at least seek, the blessing in what He (azza wa jal) sent.

Here is a real-life example.

Someone sends you a message and shaytaan shouts in your ear, "Hey, that's really mean and spiteful!" You listen to that rotten devil and respond, "Let's fear Allah," or "Allah is just," implying that the person doesn't fear Allah or isn't just. However, if you immediately said alhamdulillah, it would send shaytaan running. Your response would reassure you that there is good in this message, and you focus on the good instead of assuming fault with the person who sent the message. That simple phrase stopped you from bad suspicions or assumptions about another Muslim, from insulting another Muslim, and reinforced what is fard (obligatory) upon us, which is husnu-thann - having the best suspicions of others and of Allah, subhaanahu wa ta'ala. Instead of having a negative response, we set ourselves up for success and, subhaan Allah, how quickly and easily we see the wisdom and benefit in what was sent to us when we trust Allah's perfect plan. 

Subhaanak Allahumma wa bihamdik laa ilaaha illa Allah, astaghfirullah wa atoobu ilayk

A Rap Song I've been working on for around 14 years

Assalaamu alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh

Before you think I've fallen into sin, writing a rap song, check out the lyrics and the motivation. It's a work in progress, and any additions you may have are welcome!

I wear my pants, Baggy cut

Flashin' my drawers and half my butt

'Cause I'm a dumbo

Uh uh uh

I'm a dumbo

If I try to run around

My pants make a puddle on the ground

'Cause I'm a dumbo

Uh uh uh

I'm a dumbo

I wear my pants tight as can be

Crotch right down to my knees

'Cause I'm a dumbo

Uh uh uh

I'm a dumbo

I think I'm cool, super fly

Plumber's crack in your eye

'Cause I'm a dumbo

Uh uh uh

I'm a dumbo

Skinny jeans, muffin top

Look just like a cake pop

'Cause I'm a dumbo

Uh uh uh

I'm a dumbo

Shaved my eyebrows, drew a line

Look amazed all the time

'Cause I'm a dumbo

Uh uh uh

I'm a dumbo

It has the children cracking up, maashaa Allah. 

You see, I wanted to satirize pop culture fashion so the children could see the ridiculous side of it, not just think it was "cool." Just telling children that it isn't Islamic or something we shouldn't imitate may not change their viewpoint, but giving them a different perspective, something that will stick in their heads and make them laugh when they see an example of it, may well reach them more effectively.  As part of my mothering strategies I come up with a lot of nutty stuff to give a different view of what's considered "in, hip, cool, etc." and success is only with Allah, Who knows best.

Subhaanak Allahumma wa bihamdik, laa illaaha illaa ant, astaghfiruka wa atoobu ilayk.

Letting Go

BismIllah wa assalaamu alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.

For most of my years as a Muslimah, I have asked Allah to use me to benefit others and be a positive influence. That is a big deal to me. However, there have been situations in my life where I have tried to help and failed, Qadru Allahi wa maa shaa faal. What I didn't pay enough attention to was the Qadru Allahi wa maa shaa faal part. I churned my failures over and over in my mind, feeling ill considering what I did wrongly or aspects I missed. I held myself accountable for my inability to solve, resolve, or alleviate others' problems.

Finally, alhamdulillah, I internalized the fact that the only way I have ever helped anyone was by Allah's Will; I understood that it was not in my control. Those situations I could not benefit were never within my ability to benefit. I, nonsensically, held myself accountable for something outside of my ability.

So, this is about letting go. Letting go of guilt and misery about what I cannot control. No more profuse apologies and sleepless nights, but rather, Qadru Allahi wa maa shaa faal. Better to hang on to those feelings of guilt and misery in regard to the things within my ability that I fall short in. Most surely, focusing on those can bring benefit and positivity to myself and those around me.

Subhaanak, Allahummah wa bihamdik, laa ilaaha ilaa ant, astaghfiruka wa atoobu ilayk.

Don't Turn Around

Bismillah wa assalaamu alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.

Something happened in summer 2015 that changed my thinking and behavior, maashaa Allah. We were in England visiting my parents and my husband and I were walking out of a shopping center when we saw a tall man of likely African descent with a long, brightly colored gown and an 18-24" high, furry, black, beehive hat on his head. My first instinct was to turn around and take another look at his outfit. However, the most overwhelming clarity came over me, maashaa Allah, and I kept my eyes focused straight ahead. I realised that it did not concern me; there was no valid reason for me to look at that man again. I told my husband the thought process I'd just been through and felt like I had moved to a new level of understanding of the hadith on the authority of Abu Hurayrah (radhi Allahu anh) who said: The Messenger of Allah (sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam) said:

"Part of the perfection of one's Islam is his leaving that which does not concern him."[Tirmidhi]

After that incident, not only did I find myself doing split second analyses of situations and stopping myself from many reactions that were not my concern, but I realised something else. If I had turned around, I'd have been no different from those people who turn back and stare at me and my daughters in our hijab and niqaab. So next time you pass someone dressed differently or unusual in some way, live the hadith and don't turn around.

Lessons from a bag of potatoes

Bismillah wa assalaamu alaykum.

The other day I took a bag of potatoes in order to prepare breakfast  and found that there was a bad potato that had made the potatoes near it start going bad. Yet again there was a powerful message from Allah in that bag of potatoes. One bad potato will eventually turn the whole bag bad.

Consider how Allah  tells us to only keep good companions and that we are on the Deen of our companions. He doesn't tell us to have mostly good companions and a few bad are okay. Neither does He say that if there are many good companions then it's okay to have just one bad one amongst them.

Now, obviously, we need to deal with the bad potato. We might cut off the bad part and use the remainder, but, most surely, we separate it from the good potatoes. This is much like life, where we do our best to handle bad people well and bring out the good, but do damage control and keep our distance.

Subhaanak Allahumma wa bihamdik, laa illaaha illaa ant, astaghfiruka wa atoobu ilayk.

Just know...

BismIllah wa assalaamu alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.

I wanted to share this perspective with you. It can bring forth gratitude and calm in the greatest adversity.

Just know, that

every test,
every trial,
every hurt,
every rejection,
every bad name you are called,
every misinterpretation,
every evil assumption,
every disrespect,
every backbite,
every lie told about you,
every cut,
every pain,
every sickness
and every other struggle you face...

you needed it.

When you stand before your Creator and face your account, you will benefit from all those unpleasant things in the dunya (worldly life). They will be the things to help erase your sins, add to your good deeds, tip your scales, or elevate your level in Jennah.

 Now, doesn't that warrant a big "alhamdulillah?"

Micromanagement

Bismillah wa assalaamu alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.

As parents, spouses,  friends, managers, and employees we often find ourselves trying to micromanage situations. We see a potential opportunity or problem and try to set up a whole scenario or sequence of events to make it work or avoid it. We see weaknesses and try to troubleshoot and scaffold until they are overcome, or at least not causing serious harm. We try to establish road blocks to disobedience to Allah and open pathways to all that is halal and tayyibaat.

But, although this is simply tying our camel , like Yusuf (alayhi salaam's) father in Surah Yusuf, there is a basic truth in his words that sums it up.

Ayah 67. And he said: "O my sons! Do not enter by one gate, but enter by different gates, and I cannot avail you against Allah at all. Verily! The decision rests only with Allah. In him, I put my trust and let all those that trust, put their trust in Him."

 We cannot micromanage Allah's Qadr. When all our efforts are turned upside down, we need to stop trying to do what, in reality, is out of our ability and control, and leave it to Allah with complete calm and trust. He is perfect, we are not. His Plan is infallible, whereas He shows us that clearly our's are not. He knows each of His creation, the path they will travel, and their ultimate end.

We cannot micromanage aqeedah,  emaan, taqwa, or tawwakal. We cannot micromanage a mind or a heart. How many have persisted on major sins before coming to obedience? How many have wallowed in kufr before coming to correct aqeedah? If a person is destined to obedience we cannot ruin that and if a person is destined to disobedience, we cannot save them.

So we do what we can to enjoin the good and forbid the wrong, but when Allah steers a situation away from our righteous goals, trust in it. He is the only One Who really micromanages anything; we need to know that and trust in His perfection.

Subhaanak Allahummah wa bihamdik, laa ilaaha ilaa ant, astaghfiruka wa atoobu ilayk.

Perseverance

Bismillahi wa assalaamu alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.

I had a truly gushing moment yesterday while finishing lunch with my daughters. They really do have to put up with all sorts of emotional outbursts from me, LOL, maashaa Allah.

I said,  "For anyone just looking at me or considering what I've done in my life, they would not imagine me being of the muqarraboon - those forerunners closest to Allah.  I consider my shortcomings, failings, and sins and find myself in a miserable state in front of Allah. After all, I am just a regular person, not a prophet or scholar or prominent caller to Islam.

But my all encompassing and desperate desire to be of the muqarraboon makes me persevere with 'ibaadah, istighfar, and acknowledging every pain and difficulty as a much deserved and light recompense for my sins.  I charge on, sometimes plod on, but I refuse to despair of Allah's mercy and give up hope that He will put me with the muqarraboon. Having certainty of Allah's perfect qualities motivates me to persevere.

So I say to you all, don't EVER give up on your righteous goals. Our most forgiving, gentle,  merciful, and generous Creator sees everything and can do anything.

Subhaanak Allahumma la ilaaha ila ant, astaghfiruka wa atoobu ilayk.

Give your Best

Bism Illah wa assalaamu alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.

Consider this scenario. You know of a sister who has not been praying or wearing any form of hijab. She asks for some Islamic clothing and hijab. You know that she has not worn any hijab consistently for years and shaytaan whispers to you that she is probably asking you so that you will have a better opinion of her or think she really is trying to improve but prevented by a lack of suitable clothing. shaytaan whispers that she will probably not wear what you give her much, or for long, and it will probably end up dusty in the closet or thrown away.

Audhu b'Illahi min as-shaytaan ir-rajeem!

Give her good hijab. Give her things from your collection that you particularly think she will like, or will suit her. This will encourage her towards modest dress. Give her a nice quality aba'a (abaya), a good khimar - things you would wear yourself to Jumu'ah or Eid.

Give your best, Allah will do the rest.

The sister will feel that you have honored her by giving her nice things. It will open her heart to you and give your da'wah a smoother reception bi idhn Illah ta'ala. She will taste the beauty of Islam, the practice of loving for others what one loves for oneself. And for you, you will have lived the beauty of Islam. You will  have lived loving for another what you love for yourself. You will have lived Ihsaan, giving your best knowing that Allah is watching you. You will have lived giving the sister her rights of husn-u-thann, having the best suspicions about her. She may well live up to those expectations, inshaa Allah. You will have triumphed over shaytaan and his evil whispers.

Regardless of what happens to those donated clothes, giving your best elicits the best from yourself and from Allah, subhaana wa ta'ala.

So give your best, Allah will do the rest.

Subhaanak Allahumma wa bihamdik, laa ilaaha illa ant, astaghfiruka wa atoobu ilayk.

The Internet Talks - Part 2: Medicating and Curing

A man once asked Abû Hurayrah – Allâh be pleased with him, ‘What is al-taqwâ?” He replied, “Have you ever taken a path filled with thorns?” The man replied, “I have.” Abû Hurayrah asked him, “What did you do?” He replied, “When I saw a thorn I would dodge it or pass over it or behind it.” Abû Hurayrah said, “That is al-taqwâ.”

Al-Baihaqî, Al-Zuhd Al-Kabîr p351.

Bismillah wa assalaamu alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.

The key to resolving the problems associated with Internet use are to view going online just like a path filled with thorns - each and every thorn a tool of shaytaan to pierce our obedience to Allah.  Allah has presented us with the Internet as a huge test of discipline and taqwa. The Internet can be an excellent means for His pleasure and drawing closer to Him, when used within very specific limitations and intentions. Allah is watching you. There is no click on a site or surfing the web that isn't recorded, so if it isn't for benefit and some form of worship of Allah, then where is it going - the right-hand book (illiyyeen) or the left-hand book (sijjeen)?


Introspection about what occupies our heart is a good place to start, followed by a practical plan to develop and increase our love of Allah. When we fill our time with beneficial things, we crowd out the time that can be spent on non-beneficial things. Will we ever want to displease or disobey Allah when we think of the fact that He gives us EVERYTHING and exceeds every expectation, hope, desire, wish, and dream we could ever aspire to?
 
Here are some things to consider, or even to put on a bold screensaver or daily reminder, to remind and warn yourself before going on the internet, opening social network sites, etc.

Remember that everything we say on the internet represents Islam. Are we representing it truthfully, or lying about it? 

For example, we cannot "like", watch, or post a music video without pleasing shaytaan and spreading his evil call to following desires. Furthermore, unless we clearly state that we are sinning in doing so and that music is haraam, we have done one of two things (maybe more, but this is what I can think of):

• shown the understanding Muslims that we are openly following our desires
• presented a lie to uneducated Muslims and non-Muslims about Islam, as they will understand that it is an accepted and permissible thing.

If we wouldn't say it or reveal it to someone in person, we shouldn't reveal it on the net - it's still impermissible. 

For example,  describing our physical attributes, our talents, our preferences. If we wouldn't stand in front of a stranger and tell them such things with a clear conscience, then they should not be anywhere on the Internet either. Are we comfortable and happy to read whatever we post, comment on, or surf, out loud to our spouse, children, parents, and friends?

Before you "like" something, check if Allah and His Messenger - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam - would like it too.

This may seem simple, but actually we may have to research to find out whether it is permissible to "like" or post a certain statement or philosophy. We could post something that has elements of kufr, shirk, or is agreeing with something prohibited in our perfect deen.

*******

Here are some practical measures to troubleshoot Internet dangers for ourselves and those under our authority (children, wives, etc.).

1. Turn our screen, so what we are doing is visible to anyone and everyone around.
2. Project our screen on the wall, so it's larger than life and public property.
3. Make sure we are never alone with unmonitored computer/internet access.
4. Put programs on our computer to record our internet activity and have someone else review where we've been and how long we spent on it.
5. Set access times so we cannot go on at certain times.
6. Keep an Internet journal to  note down each time we use it, the intended benefit before using it  and whether we deviated from that. This is so tedious that it should really deter us from using the Internet unless absolutely necessary!  
7. Be transparent about what we type, like, or post. Never type anything our husband would not fully approve of. (My husband reads all my posts on these blogs, and if I comment on someone's blog I let him know.)
8. Have our grown son or daughter read our comment, post, or blog first.
9. Read it out loud to our children of all ages.

The android phone can also accept Internet filtering and restriction programs, and the last three on the list are a good way to troubleshoot Internet use on your phone. After facing the fact that such convenient Internet access is more fitnah than they can cope with, there are some of us who are opting for a return to flip phones for the safety of our aakhirah and our health.

This is probably one of the biggest challenges we will face in our lifetimes: conquering our desires and weaknesses when it comes to the Internet. With Ramadhaan approaching, we need to do everything we can to implement effective remedies and corrections so our fasting will not be tainted, devalued, or ruined by our Internet use. May Allah purify our intentions, fortify our resolve, and give us success in achieving His lasting pleasure - ameen!

Subhaanak Allahumma wa bihamdik laa illaha ila ant, wa astaghfiruka wa atoobu ilayk.

Give Ten People a Recipe...

Bismillah wa assalaamu alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.

Give ten people a recipe. Do you get ten identical results? No.

There are the people who follow it exactly, knowing that is the only way to get the right result. Even so, there may be slight variations depending on the brand and function of their oven, the type of utensils or kitchen equipment they use, and even the weather and their altitude. 

Then there are those who think they have a better technique, and change the recipe before even following the original directions. 

At least one will try to cut corners, skimping on quantities or using inferior or cheaper ingredients. 

There are the ones who can't read the recipe properly; their vision is blurred and so they misinterpret it.

Of the ten, someone may not understand units of measurement, and so rather than learn, they guess at the quantities.

And there are always the ones who couldn't care less and throw the recipe together uncaring about the result.

Which one of the those people are you? What would you expect your version of the recipe to turn out like?

Our Creator, Allah, gives us a recipe: a recipe for success that He names Islam.  

"...This day, I have perfected your religion for you, completed My Favor upon you, and have chosen for you Islam as your religion..."

Surat ul Maa'idah 3

The recipe is perfect, and He clearly tells us that following it will lead to eternal blissful reward. So, I ask you, what are you doing with His recipe? How can you follow it more accurately, for that perfect result?

Be Greedy and Selfish!

Bism Illah wa assalaamu alaykum wa RahmatUllahi wa Barakatuh.

Yes, you read it rightly; Mai is now telling you to be greedy and selfish, LOL!

"... but His plan is to test you in what He has given you; so strive as in a race in good deeds..." [Quran 5:48]

When someone enters a room I am in, and they don't give the salaams, I give the salaams. True, it is a reminder that the salaams should be given, but I'm also being greedy for the reward of spreading the salaams. I'm greedy for the reward of making du'a for others; greedy for chances to be the first to help; greedy to bring a smile to someone's face. Tell me, who doesn't love making others happy or helping them in some way? It is human nature, and it feels wonderful maashaa Allah.

Recently, a beloved sister asked me for some help; it wasn't even for her, but for a dear sister of hers maashaa Allah. She then apologized for asking too much of me. I told her not to be sorry for giving me a chance for the Pleasure and Reward of Allah; it is a blessing! The sister told me I'm sweet, maashaa Allah, but I had to correct her. I am not sweet; I am selfish. I want to feel the joy and happiness in helping others and pleasing Allah. When I respond to her requests, I am pleasing myself!

So please, be as greedy and selfish as possible: greedy for rewards and opportunities for rewards; selfish in wanting to feel good by doing good to others. It is greed and selfishness for your happiness in both this worldly life and the aakhirah!

Just Say the Words

Bism Illah wa assalaamu alaykum wa RahmatUllahi wa Barakatuh.

Sometimes it is difficult to automatically think and react in the correct and good way to what befalls us. The initial reactions to a broken down car or cutting our finger might be, "Oh no!" or "Ouch, that hurt!" However, I have found that in training ourselves to say the appropriate words, we actually train ourselves in sabr (patience) for the improvement of our deen.


For example, when we say al hamdu l'Illah as our first automatic and immediate response to any affliction, (the burn from the oven, the baby falling, the house collapsing, LOL), then we direct our minds to automatically seek out its blessings from Allah. It reminds us to have yaqeen (certainty) that it is, indeed, a great blessing from Allah, even if it isn't clear where some of the blessings lie. Certainly, the test is sent to us as a reminder, an expiation, and improver.

Narrated Anas (radhi Allahu anh): The Prophet (sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam) said,


            “The real patience is at the first stroke of a calamity.”
                                                                                                 Sahih Al-Bukhari – Book 23 Hadith 389


Sometimes all it takes is to just say the words to focus ourselves on the correct thinking and belief.

Here's what you do...

when you want to be heard, or
when you want to be understood, or
when you want to improve, or
when you want to grow, or
when you want to have a long hard look in the mirror, or
when you have unclear priorities, or
when you can't see things clearly, or
when you need to make a decision, or
when you feel sorry about something, or
when you are a mess, or
when you need security, or
when you feel unsure, or
when you feel sad, or
when you are having bad thoughts, or
when you are happy, or
when you are totally focused:

PRAY and MAKE DUA'...

because that's what it's all about - turning to Allah, your Creator, for everything and in every situation.

Little thoughts are not aways small...

Assalaamu alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh!

Shall I apologize again for not blogging in so long? Well, it is certainly not for lack of things to share with you, but I haven't had the time or computer access to type, Qadr Allah. It is disastrous in some ways because I also haven't written my ideas down in my pink journal, which means they get lost among the daily studies, teaching, mothering, wifing, cooking, and housework. Al hamdul'Illah, I say! Why, you ask? Because what will reach you, will reach you bi idhn Illah, ta'ala. And what will reach you will benefit you at the best time and be written at the best time, bi idhn Illah, ta'ala.

So, before I plunge back into "blogland" with more chunky subjects, I will share some of my little passing thoughts with you.You may find value in them, perhaps even more than in a lengthier writing on the subject.

• Parenting is an incredibly testing job, but as long as you know that you gave the right information and modeled the Qur'aan and the Sunnah, then inshaa Allah, you will have earned  your paycheck, even if mistakes were made.
  
• Beware of hypocrisy, that misalignment between what you believe or stand against and what you do. It can be the most impervious of things, like taking the scholars' ruling that photographs of things with souls for non-essential reasons are impermissible, but clicking "like" for people's photos or even commenting on them. 
  
• When you see someone dear to you showing some weakness in their religion, reach out and draw them closer to  you, so they can draw from your strength, obedience, and love of Allah.
  
• When we are presented with choices to make throughout our day, almost always there will be a choice more pleasing to Allah. Give your best, Allah will take care of the rest!
  
• How can we hold other people to account for not making us a priority in their lives, when we don't make Allah a priority in ours?
  
• A deed is accepted by Allah only if done with ikhlaas (sincerity) and conforming to the Qur'aan and the Sunnah. Are your deeds counting for you?
  
• Dua' is the the most powerful ally of the believer, but it can become impotent if you persist on your sins.
  
• If you ask Allah to show you His Haqq, then make sure when you see it you accept it, gratefully.
  
• Keep it simple. Being in this world as if you are a traveler doesn't cost hundreds of thousands of dollars in houses, furniture, cars, electronics, clothing, or vacations.

Hmmm, I wonder which of these you will like the best? Barak Allahu feekum!

I'm here because...

Bism Illah wa assalaamu alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.

Why do I keep typing on this blog? If just for myself, an outlet for my own ideas and struggles, then a journal would do the trick. So why share all this with you? As I told my children, if I were to die tomorrow, every piece of advice, every example, every bit of practical guidance I could leave them with is right here. Words and sincere advice from the depths of my heart that will always be here for them to refer to throughout the various stages and events of their lives. It is here for them, and for every one of you who read it and find benefit, because

I love you.

Exposure

Bism Illah wa as salaamu alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.

Exposure is a POWERFUL thing. It can cause dissatisfaction, greed, misery, materialism, divorce, corruption, and great haraam. However, handled with care and forethought, exposure is the key to positive outcomes, halal pursuits, and pleasure in the most simple things.

Part of the reason children like the things they do is simply due to exposure. If they are exposed to TV, music, video games, amusement parks, and shopping as forms of recreation, then they will be the things they choose from, along with the things they have seen through those media. You will find them constantly wanting the things they have seen advertised or in the shop windows. You will find them often inactive and considering Wii a viable form of sports.Rather than sit and talk face to face, they will communicate via the latest app, be it Whatsapp, Instagram or the ever present Facebook. Bad exposure results in parents hearing those awful words from their children, "I'm bored. There's nothing to do," because they always require entertainment from an external source.

However, when you expose your children to nature, playing in the park, making things out of mud, cooking, crafts, knitting, sewing, building things, growing things, physical activities and games, pretend role playing, and reading to learn about real people, places, and situations, you will find them choosing from those things as forms of recreation.The larger their repertoire of skills, abilities, intellectual and physical outlets, the more healthy, balanced, and competent they will be. Good exposure results in parents finding that their children are never bored; rather they don't have time to do all the different things they'd like to do.

When we were preparing for a trip to Makkah to meet up with my oldest friend and her family, my 7 and 10 year old daughters got out their knitting book and knitted a handbag and a phone cover for her youngest daughter - my namesake - Mai. They also knitted a purse for her older sister. We made them gifts of homemade coco-mint lip balm and honey and orange body bars. I baked them brownies. They don't think about having money to buy gifts for others, they think about what they can make - a gift made with love and thought and real effort on their part, maashaa Allah.

Exposure is something that can be done on a larger scale when socializing with other families, too. We went to the park and had knitting lessons. We had a monthly girls gathering where we cooked something healthy and delicious. We crafted rag rugs. We had theme nights where everyone dressed "prairie" and we cooked prairie food and learned about life back then for the pioneers.

I talk about my eating philosophy with friends and acquaintances, but it is never simply that. I feed them. I show them that you can eat halaal, tayyibaat, truly healthy and nutritious food that tastes wonderful, without compromise. I expose them to foods that are simple to make, so if they say they love them, I can give them the recipe and they can make it themselves easily with few ingredients.

Exposure is also da'wah. In sharing my thoughts and struggles publicly, I expose others to a positive approach to life's tests. I can expose them to better knowledge and understanding of Allah and His Perfection,  and how that can be applied in real-life situations, bi idhn Illah ta'ala.

So, consider the power of exposure, and seek not only to expose others to good and positive things, but also to ensure that you are being exposed to beneficial things... for this life and your ultimate success in the aakhirah inshaa Allah.

Theme Ayah and Ayah of the Moment

Bism Illah wa as salaamu alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.

You know how some shows and people have a theme song and how the words of a song might pop up in their minds when triggered by something? Well, audhu b'Illahi min dhaalik (I seek refuge with Allah from that)! However, I usually have a theme ayah or an ayah from the Qur'aan that fits the occasion. It stays with me and plays itself over and over in my mind and on my lips, maashaa Allah. These ayaat have different purposes at different times in my life. Sometimes they are a reflection of what is going on around me. Sometimes they are pure medicine for me. This is just one way that the Qur'aan is a part of my life and I make it a part of others' lives.

Some examples of this are:

- When I hear foolish, vain, or unpleasant speech, I recite ayah 35 from Surat an Naba:

لَّا يَسْمَعُونَ فِيهَا لَغْوًا وَلَا كِذَّابًا {35}

which reminds me that in Jennah we will not hear such things...and hopefully reminds those around me that such speech is not pleasing to Allah.

- When I hear someone reciting the Qur'aan very quickly, without care or in an attempt to just "get through it,"  I recite ayah 16 from Surat al Qiyamah:

 لَا تُحَرِّكْ بِهِ لِسَانَكَ لِتَعْجَلَ بِهِ {16}

 - When we discuss hypocrisy and insincerity, I recite ayaat 10-12 of Surat al-Qiyamah:

يَقُولُ الْإِنسَانُ يَوْمَئِذٍ أَيْنَ الْمَفَرُّ {10}كَلَّا لَا وَزَرَ {11} إِلَى رَبِّكَ يَوْمَئِذٍ الْمُسْتَقَرُّ {12}

- When I witness bad behavior, I simply recite ayah 38 from Surat al Muddathir: 

كُلُّ نَفْسٍ بِمَا كَسَبَتْ رَهِينَةٌ {38}

- When my patience is tested, I recite ayah 12 from Surat al Insan:

وَجَزَاهُم بِمَا صَبَرُوا جَنَّةً وَحَرِيرًا {12}

And as for a theme ayah, well this past month my heart and mind have been preoccupied with major issues that a sister who has a large piece of my heart is facing. All that I could keep reciting is ayah 3 from Surat At-Talaaq:

وَيَرْزُقْهُ مِنْ حَيْثُ لَا يَحْتَسِبُ وَمَن يَتَوَكَّلْ عَلَى اللَّهِ فَهُوَ حَسْبُهُ إِنَّ اللَّهَ بَالِغُ أَمْرِهِ قَدْ جَعَلَ اللَّهُ لِكُلِّ شَيْءٍ قَدْرًا {3}

I recited it during my Umrah and it has been my theme ayah ever since. In fact, I recite it so much and it is such a visible medicine to me, that my daughters are now on the bandwagon reciting it around the house as well, maashaa Allah. 

And you know what? It enables me to cope with life with constant remembrance of Allah and models to my children how they can do so as well.  It feels great to make these connections, in my life and that of my children. It feels greatest to respond with Allah's perfect words, rather than my own. Al hamdul'Illahi Rabbil aal ameen!