What is Enough?

Assalaamu alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.

Subhaan Allah, the subject of what is enough has been recurring for me for years - from not shooting for the moon when all you need is reachable in a low tree branch, to considering what is beneficial and what is just superfluous. I have many thoughts on this subject and there are so many nooks and crannies to delve into! 

Before I start on the concept of enough, I will set the bar by stating that whatever we have at any given time is perfectly enough as that is what Allah has decreed for us. Our glass is always full of exactly what we should have, and each of us has a customized full glass. So, when we strive for better, we need to consider what kind of "better" we are striving for and if that "better" is for our aakhirah or our dunya. We need to consider what we are chasing, what our goals are, and if our striving and priorities align with those goals.

So, in terms of money, how much is enough? This will vary widely from person to person, but things to consider are how much are bills, how much is needed for shelter, transportation, food, education, and whatever else secures a stable life with the ability to worship Allah freely. For some, this is a mountain to climb to achieve, for others they reached the goal of enough and surpassed it in spades. 

If you have enough to live comfortably, what is the benefit of taking more time to dedicate to earning more? What benefit is there? Does pursuing more money-making projects or other projects that you would like to do outweigh taking more time for Allah, learning Arabic, memorizing and implementing the Quraan, slowing down and living more in tune with nature. What is your goal? Dunya or aakhirah? If you are driven by the desire to do many different projects, businesses, or hobbies, what are they for? Money? Self-satisfaction and pleasure? A social service? Do they serve your dunya or aakhirah.  If both, what benefits both and what distracts? These are not simple questions because they require a deep honesty and clarity of focus. 

If we want to truly aim for our aakhirah, leave behind the extravagance of excess and know what is enough, then it is time to make salaat ul istikhaara a regular part of our day, every single day. It's time to follow the guidance of Allah instead of our nafs and shaytaan and accept fully when Allah shows us where our priorities should lie and what is enough. 

Subhaanaka Allahumma wa bihamdika, laa Illaaha illa Anta, astaghfiruka wa atoobu ilayk.

Ignorance Destroys

Assalaamu alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.

Subhaan Allah, those who are blessed with knowledge - beneficial knowledge, aka 'ilm - know the critical importance of "sami'na wa ata'na" - we hear, and we obey. They know that in following Islam, following the Qura'an and the Sunnah, they will have ease without conflict. Why? Because they aren't subject to opinion, personal feelings, or their own interpretation of any matter. They seek the legislated path and they stick to it, with all else being thrown aside or never even coming into play. I wish it for every believing Muslim on this planet - ameen.

Fitna doesn't grow out of Islam. It grows out of the absence of Islam. It grows out of the absence of knowledge and adherence to it. Fitna doesn't grow out of proof and accountability; it grows out of ignorant self-conviction and sheer disobedience. Muslims, new and seasoned, are guilty of this. I went through that stage 30+ years ago and, after making extensive istighfar, I dread reverting to such a state again.

The enormity of the du'a Rabbi zidnee 'ilmaa is that increasing in sound Islamic knowledge frees your mind and heart. You live in peace and security because you are living "sami'na wa ata'na."

Subhaanak Allahumma wa bihamdik laa illaaha ilaa ant, astaghfiruka wa atoobu ilayk. 

The Internet Talks - Part 2: Medicating and Curing

A man once asked Abû Hurayrah – Allâh be pleased with him, ‘What is al-taqwâ?” He replied, “Have you ever taken a path filled with thorns?” The man replied, “I have.” Abû Hurayrah asked him, “What did you do?” He replied, “When I saw a thorn I would dodge it or pass over it or behind it.” Abû Hurayrah said, “That is al-taqwâ.”

Al-Baihaqî, Al-Zuhd Al-Kabîr p351.

Bismillah wa assalaamu alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.

The key to resolving the problems associated with Internet use are to view going online just like a path filled with thorns - each and every thorn a tool of shaytaan to pierce our obedience to Allah.  Allah has presented us with the Internet as a huge test of discipline and taqwa. The Internet can be an excellent means for His pleasure and drawing closer to Him, when used within very specific limitations and intentions. Allah is watching you. There is no click on a site or surfing the web that isn't recorded, so if it isn't for benefit and some form of worship of Allah, then where is it going - the right-hand book (illiyyeen) or the left-hand book (sijjeen)?


Introspection about what occupies our heart is a good place to start, followed by a practical plan to develop and increase our love of Allah. When we fill our time with beneficial things, we crowd out the time that can be spent on non-beneficial things. Will we ever want to displease or disobey Allah when we think of the fact that He gives us EVERYTHING and exceeds every expectation, hope, desire, wish, and dream we could ever aspire to?
 
Here are some things to consider, or even to put on a bold screensaver or daily reminder, to remind and warn yourself before going on the internet, opening social network sites, etc.

Remember that everything we say on the internet represents Islam. Are we representing it truthfully, or lying about it? 

For example, we cannot "like", watch, or post a music video without pleasing shaytaan and spreading his evil call to following desires. Furthermore, unless we clearly state that we are sinning in doing so and that music is haraam, we have done one of two things (maybe more, but this is what I can think of):

• shown the understanding Muslims that we are openly following our desires
• presented a lie to uneducated Muslims and non-Muslims about Islam, as they will understand that it is an accepted and permissible thing.

If we wouldn't say it or reveal it to someone in person, we shouldn't reveal it on the net - it's still impermissible. 

For example,  describing our physical attributes, our talents, our preferences. If we wouldn't stand in front of a stranger and tell them such things with a clear conscience, then they should not be anywhere on the Internet either. Are we comfortable and happy to read whatever we post, comment on, or surf, out loud to our spouse, children, parents, and friends?

Before you "like" something, check if Allah and His Messenger - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam - would like it too.

This may seem simple, but actually we may have to research to find out whether it is permissible to "like" or post a certain statement or philosophy. We could post something that has elements of kufr, shirk, or is agreeing with something prohibited in our perfect deen.

*******

Here are some practical measures to troubleshoot Internet dangers for ourselves and those under our authority (children, wives, etc.).

1. Turn our screen, so what we are doing is visible to anyone and everyone around.
2. Project our screen on the wall, so it's larger than life and public property.
3. Make sure we are never alone with unmonitored computer/internet access.
4. Put programs on our computer to record our internet activity and have someone else review where we've been and how long we spent on it.
5. Set access times so we cannot go on at certain times.
6. Keep an Internet journal to  note down each time we use it, the intended benefit before using it  and whether we deviated from that. This is so tedious that it should really deter us from using the Internet unless absolutely necessary!  
7. Be transparent about what we type, like, or post. Never type anything our husband would not fully approve of. (My husband reads all my posts on these blogs, and if I comment on someone's blog I let him know.)
8. Have our grown son or daughter read our comment, post, or blog first.
9. Read it out loud to our children of all ages.

The android phone can also accept Internet filtering and restriction programs, and the last three on the list are a good way to troubleshoot Internet use on your phone. After facing the fact that such convenient Internet access is more fitnah than they can cope with, there are some of us who are opting for a return to flip phones for the safety of our aakhirah and our health.

This is probably one of the biggest challenges we will face in our lifetimes: conquering our desires and weaknesses when it comes to the Internet. With Ramadhaan approaching, we need to do everything we can to implement effective remedies and corrections so our fasting will not be tainted, devalued, or ruined by our Internet use. May Allah purify our intentions, fortify our resolve, and give us success in achieving His lasting pleasure - ameen!

Subhaanak Allahumma wa bihamdik laa illaha ila ant, wa astaghfiruka wa atoobu ilayk.

What do words say?

Assalaamu alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakaatuh.

When we speak words, do we truly understand their meaning and what we are saying? I will give you a few examples.

1. "I wish I were thinner."
   
2. "I wish I had straight hair."
   
3. "I hate being lazy!"
   
4. "I hate being poor!"

The first sentence, "I wish I were thinner," says that the speaker doesn't like their weight and would like to lose some. It also implies that they are struggling to find the control they need to make weight loss or exercise happen to reach their goal. It is a self-directed statement.

The second sentence, "I wish I had straight hair," is a whole different story. It is saying that the speaker isn't happy with their hair and wishes it was a different texture. It is saying that the person isn't happy with how Allah specifically created something in them. This is not self-directed, but actually a complaint of dissatisfaction to Allah. It is called ingratitude, lack of appreciation, and lack of satisfaction or contentment with a characteristic of the body Allah gifted them with.

The third sentence, "I hate being lazy!" is another self-directed sentence, expressing an extreme dislike of laziness in themselves and setting a criteria of what should be avoided or corrected in regards to that bad quality.

The fourth sentence, "I hate being poor!" also expresses the speakers strong dissatisfaction with the amount of rizq (sustenance) Allah has provided for them at that time in their lives. I expresses not only disagreement with Allah's Judgement and Fairness, but also rejection of His Tests.

I won't belabor this; inshaa Allah you will see from these examples how important it is to think about what the words actually say, BEFORE saying them. Which angel would be recording those sentences, the right-hand one or the left-hand one?

May Allah increase our taqwa and emaan that we may speak with clear understanding words that are only pleasing to Him - ameen!

Your Day in a Nutshell

Bism Illah wa assalaam wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.

 "My day is ruined!"

Ever hear someone say that, or say it yourself?

No.Your day isn't ruined. You ruined your day.

Your day is entirely in your control. It is all in how you act, think about things, and understand them.

There are two things that can ruin your day: your ignorance or underestimation of Allah, subhaana wa ta'ala and your sins (which includes any disobedience to Allah or doing things He dislikes).

What about if someone is unpleasant to you, with no wrongdoing or provocation on your part? Can't that ruin your day? Not if you know that Allah is Al-Hakeem (The All-Wise), As-Samee' (The All-Hearing), Al-Baseer (The All-Seeing), Al-Haseeb (The Reckoner), Al-Hakam (The Judge), and Al-Adl (The Just). In such a case, the one who harmed you has given you a gift; either they have given you some of their good deeds or taken some of your sins - a perfectly good deal. Sit calm and say alhamdul'Illah.

What about if you fall sick, are hurt, or suffer some difficult test? Can't that ruin your day? Not if you know that Allah is Al-Wudood (The Loving), Al Hafeedth (The Guardian), Al-Wakeel (The Disposer of Affairs), Al-Qabid (The Taker) and Al-Baasit (The Extender). In such a case, you know that Allah loves you and is reminding you to return to Him in repentance and prayer. He is expiating your sins, elevating your ranks in Jennah, and guiding you call on Him, alone, for help.

What about if your children behave as though they never learned manners, respect, or morals? Can't that ruin your day? Not if you know that Allah is As-Salaam (The Peace), Al-Qawiyy (The Strong), Al-Mateen (The Powerful), Al-Jabbaar (The Compeller), Al-Musawwir (The Shaper), Al-Mujeeb (The Answerer), Al-Haadi (The Director), Ar-Rasheed (The Guide). Throw your hands up in du'a and keep on doing what your doing to guide them to righteousness. Leave the rest to Allah's Perfect Plan.

What if you are feeling unappreciated? Can't that ruin your day? Not if you know that Allah is Ash-Shaakir (The Recognizer and Rewarder of good) and Ash-Shakoor (The Appreciative). and Al-Kaafi (The Sufficient). Why worry when the only One Who can recompense and reward is appreciating you?

But what about if you commit a major sin? Can't that ruin your day? Yes, it can, if you don't repent for it with sincerity and heartfelt regret. Even with a complete and true repentance it can cast a shadow on your day. However, for the true believer the answer is still no, because you know that Allah is At-Tawwaab (The Oft-Returning), Al-Afuww (The Pardoning), Al-Ghafoor (The Forgiving), Al-Ghaffaar (The All-Forgiving), and Ar-Raheem (The All-Merciful). He created us to err and turn to Him in repentance, thereby learning a lesson and not wanting to commit that sin again. Crying to Allah in sorrow, regret, and repentance is an excellent thing. It confirms that you have eemaan and taqwa - hardly something to ruin your day. More like something to give you hope and something to build on, maashaa Allah.

So, I say to you, if you have correct understanding of Allah, your Creator, and true taqwa and eemaan, then nothing and nobody can ruin your day - not ever.


Resources: The Explanation of The Beautiful and Perfect Names of Allah (subhaana wa ta'ala)  by Abdur-Rahman bin Nasir as-Sadi (raheemahUllaah)

Be Real with Yourself

Bism Illah wa assalaamu alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.

Every action has an intention. Just read the first hadith of An-Nawawi's 40 Hadith and ponder for a minute it's meaning.

On the authority of Ameer ul-Mu'mineen (the Commander of the Faithful), Abu Hafs 'Umar ibn al-Khattaab radhi Allahu anhu, who said: I heard the Messenger of Allah sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam say:

Actions are but by intentions and every man shall have only that which he intended. 

Thus he whose migration (Hijrah to Madeenah from Makkah) was for Allaah and His Messenger, his miration was for Allah and His Messenger, and he whose migration was to achieve some worldly benefit or to take some woman in marriage, his migration was for that for which he migrated.

(Agreed upon)

 عَنْ أَمِيرِ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ أَبِي حَفْصٍ عُمَرَ بْنِ الْخَطَّابِ رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهُ قَالَ: سَمِعْت رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم يَقُولُ: ” إنَّمَا الْأَعْمَالُ بِالنِّيَّاتِ، وَإِنَّمَا لِكُلِّ امْرِئٍ مَا نَوَى، فَمَنْ كَانَتْ هِجْرَتُهُ إلَى اللَّهِ وَرَسُولِهِ فَهِجْرَتُهُ إلَى اللَّهِ وَرَسُولِهِ، وَمَنْ كَانَتْ هِجْرَتُهُ لِدُنْيَا يُصِيبُهَا أَوْ امْرَأَةٍ يَنْكِحُهَا فَهِجْرَتُهُ إلَى مَا هَاجَرَ إلَيْهِ“.

رَوَاهُ إِمَامَا الْمُحَدِّثِينَ أَبُو عَبْدِ اللهِ مُحَمَّدُ بنُ إِسْمَاعِيل بن إِبْرَاهِيم بن الْمُغِيرَة بن بَرْدِزبَه الْبُخَارِيُّ الْجُعْفِيُّ ، وَأَبُو الْحُسَيْنِ مُسْلِمٌ بنُ الْحَجَّاج بن مُسْلِم الْقُشَيْرِيُّ النَّيْسَابُورِيُّ رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهُمَا فِي صَحِيحَيْهِمَا اللذَين هُمَا أَصَحُّ الْكُتُبِ الْمُصَنَّفَةِ.

It is easy to say, "I don't know," or, "Because I wanted to," or even, "Someone else made me do it," when being asked why you did something, However, not one of these answers is the truth or the whole truth.

When words come out of your mouth, contemplate why you say them. Try it for at least a day and see if your words were all helpful, beneficial, guiding to the good, and loving the good for those being spoken to. Consider if those words are sitting on your right hand side, recorded in Illiyyeen. Did you really say them with a clean heart and intentions? Or did you say them with the underlying desire to hurt, insult, put down, make fun of, condescend to, cajole, or manipulate?

So much is said and done without thought, but not without thought about why we did it, but more about what the result is of us doing it. What reward will we get for it - good or bad? It is easy, when being examined by others, to come up with an altruistic reason for our actions and speech. However,  it is the truth within us that we will answer for - the truth behind the reason for our actions and speech, not what we say in retrospect or try to convince ourselves or others of.

We, as human beings, will always have to fight our nafs and the incessant whispers of shaytaan feeding our base thoughts and desires. The only way we can truly address and correct ourselves for the good is if we are honest with ourselves about those negative and evil feelings that drive us to do or say bad or negative things.It is in being real with ourselves that we can pinpoint the things we need to rectify in our hearts and humble ourselves before our Creator. It is in being real with ourselves that we can cry in desperation to Allah for His Forgiveness and Help. It is in being real with ourselves that we stand a chance of true success in this life and the next, bi idhn Illah ta'ala.

The Addition Rule

BismIllah wa as salaamu alaykum wa Rahmat Allah wa Barakatuh.

Most of us know, not just adults but children as well, that it really doesn't matter what someone says if their actions contradict it. After all, if someone tells you that you are highly valued and precious to them but then takes advantage of you, doesn't fulfill their promises and commitments to you and yet bends over backwards to lavish favors and things on others, will you believe them?


I call it the addition rule: everything should add up. One plus one should equal two.

i.e.: I say something (1), + my actions back it up (1), then it is, bi ithn Illah, true (=2).

Similarly, if a brother or a sister says they are practicing Islam and fear Allah, and yet aren't praying or following Allah's guidance and examples, will you believe them? Practicing islam and taqwa (1) + no prayers or practice (-1) = 0 on the truth scale.


There is so much value in being true to others, but we cannot be true to others unless we are true to ourselves.   You may think that you can hide the truth from others, but Allah may expose what you thought would never come to light. Don't take that chance. Don't be a liar to yourself, because in turn you will be a liar to others, and worse of all, you will be a liar in the Eyes of Allah.

Dunya Check

Bism Illah wa as salaamu alaykum wa Rahmat Allah wa Barakatuh.

We can find excellent and detailed reading material on not giving importance to material things and avoiding pride, arrogance, and showing off, mashaa'Allah. However, I think we can all benefit from a daily dunya check.

Ask yourself why you are doing whatever you do.

• Why did you choose those particular clothes and accessories?
• Why are you buying whatever you plan to buy?
• Why are you giving or taking that thing?
• Why do you have each and every one of your possessions?

Think about it honestly. What influences your decision to do the things you do? Is it for the pleasure of, and obedience to, Allah? Or is it to present yourself in the best light and get others' approval or compliments? Is it to fulfill a life necessity? Or is it to add to the collection of things you want or like? Does everything you own have a genuinely beneficial purpose? Or is there a trace of competition in you, to in some way be better than, or outdo, others?

I'll pop an extreme (LOL) example in here now. I have some jewelry, mashaa'Allah. While it is all simple in design, it has notable value, mashaa'Allah. However, I very, very, rarely wear any of it.  The only thing I do wear are earrings (so my holes don't close up), which I change from time to time so my husband sees something different, and a watch.

You might think that I wear the jewellery when I go out to gatherings, but most especially I never wear it then. Why? Because I do not want to show off. I don't want to draw attention to my possessions. I don't want some sister, who may not have such jewelry, to feel jealousy or instill a desire for such material things in her. For me, such things are pure dunya. To be honest, I don't even see any reason to adorn myself in such a way for other women; such adornment is reserved for my husband.You might wonder why I even keep the jewelry, but it is for my children to inherit on my death. Allah only knows what they may need in the future, and it is their right.

I have things of good enough quality that they are beneficial to my well-being and health, but not so good that they are extravagant, inshaa'Allah. Believe me, I've been down the extravagant and wasteful road and I pray I see the road signs and never go down that road again, wa audhu b'Illahi min as-shaytaan ir-rajeem!

I know that often we don't like to ask ourselves questions that we don't have good, or the right answers, for. However, those are exactly the questions we have to keep asking ourselves if we are to correct ourselves and improve.

People don't know your worth - only Allah does. 

Strive to increase in value every day - just for Him.

Eternal Beauty

Bism Illah wa as salaamu alaykum wa Rahmat Allah wa Barakatuh.

Beauty is such an interesting thing: the outer beauty and the inner beauty. Even the nicest looking person doesn't look lovely if they don't love Allah and have a clean heart. Clean hearts and pure intentions shine from faces like a beautiful illumination. The smiles of those with inner beauty are irresistible to all like souls, they emanate and meet with gleaming smiles. While our outer beauty lies with what Allah has decreed for us, our inner beauty makes us more beloved to people than the most beautiful exterior. The clean heart loves the clean heart...and that's what the believers see in each other.

If you wish to be eternally beautiful, rectify your heart. This is a short but excellent e-book on this matter:  How to Rectify your Heart by Shk. Abdul Islaam Saalih bin Taaha Abdul Waahid.


So many of you I have never met, never seen...but our hearts speak to each other and our smiles reach each other all over the world.  May our hearts be a source of light on Yawm Al Qiyama - ameen.

Think you're smart?

Bism Illah wa as salaamu alaykum wa Rahmat Allah wa Barakatuh.

Check out these scenarios.

- Muslim Child is in a bad mood and decides to join the prayer late, stand out of the line, fidget excessively, delay moving after the Imam, huff and puff in annoyance, etc.  Muslim Child is reprimanded after the prayer and responds with a slightly smug smile that implies, "Oh good, I succeeded in annoying you!"

- Muslim Wife is annoyed with husband over something he has done that she does not like. Muslim Wife decides she will punish husband by withholding his marital rights or even by teasing him first and then withholding his rights...leaving him hanging and frustrated. Muslim Wife smiles smugly, thinking she well and truly got him back.

- Muslim Sister finds herself in a plural marriage and is overcome by jealousy. At a gathering where she knows the co-wife will be, Muslim Sister wears something that exposes her best physical features, in detail. She brings great food, sports a love-bite, and talks in a condescending way to co-wife to show who's best and that there is no competition.

Muslim Child, Muslim Wife, and Muslim Sister think they are smart. They think they've gotten one over on their "opponent" and won, in some way. Muslim Child, Muslim Wife, and Muslim Sister are sadly mistaken.

Muslim Child did not pray to Allah. Muslim Child stood and went through the motions of prayer all the while focusing on disrupting the prayer and khushoo of those around them.

The Prophet (pbuh) said,
"The first of one's works that he shall be called to account for on the Day of Judgment is the Prayer. If he performed it well, he will be prosperous. Otherwise, he will be loser.” At-Tirmidhi

'Ubadah Ibn As-Aumit related, the Prophet (pbuh) said,
"Whoever makes ablution properly and performs properly the integrals of Prayer: bowing, prostration and recitation therein, the Prayer says, "May Allah preserve you as you preserve me.” Then the Prayer is risen up skyward enveloped with light. When approaching the heaven 's gates, it will find it opened. So it keeps on rising up until it reaches Allah. There, it intercedes for the one who performed it. But if he does not perform (its integral) properly: bowing, prostration or recitation therein, the Prayer says, "May Allah neglect you as you neglected me..” Then, the Prayer is risen up skyward enveloped with darkness. Approaching the gates of heaven, it will find it closed. Then, it will be folded as an old cloth and kicked back to the doer's face.” Al-Haythami

So tell me, Muslim Child, who did you hurt in the end?

As for Muslim Wife, she has not fulfilled her covenant with Allah; she hasn't guarded her husband's chastity.

It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: 
“The Messenger of Allaah (peace  and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘When a man calls his wife to his bed and she refuses, and he went to sleep angry with her, the angels will curse her until morning.’” Al-Bukhari, 3065; Muslim, 1436

Ibn ' Abbas also related that the Prophet (pbuh) said,
"There are three people whom Allah cursed: Whoever leads a group of people in Prayer who dislike him, a woman whose husband spends the night angry with her and whoever heard the call to Prayer but he does not answer.” At-Tirmidhi

So tell me Muslim Wife, who will really suffer from your spiteful actions?

And finally for Muslim Sister, her jealousy is her worse enemy.

The Prophet (pbuh) said,
"Once a man was walking along in a new set of clothes, with a swagger to his step, pleased with himself, Allah caused the earth to swallow him and he will keep sinking until the Last Day.”Al-Bukhari
 
"Tyrants and the arrogant will be raised on the last Day as grain strewn under feet that the people will walk upon.”Ahmad and At-Tirmidhi
Arrogance, as early Muslims said, was the first fault against Allah.

Allah, the Almighty, says,
{And behold, we said to the angels: bow down to Adam: and they bowed down: not so Iblis: he refused and was haughty: he was of those who reject Faith} (AI-Baqarah: 34)
Therefore, Faith is of no avail if arrogance exists, as is Iblis.

The Messenger (pbuh) said, "Arrogance is belittling to admit the truth and considering people inferior.” Muslim

"No one with the slightest particle of arrogance in his heart will enter Paradise.” Al-Bukhari

Do you have the upper hand now, Muslim Sister?


This is a reminder and warning to every Muslim Child, Muslim Wife, and Muslim Sister that may reside in us:

Don't think you're smart. 

I've let shaytaan fool me in the past, but by Allah's Grace and Mercy, I realized that I would have to answer for my actions. Allah is not going to ask you about what others did, He will ask you about what YOU did. Don't fool yourself into thinking that doing something out of spite is smart, because the saying, "What goes around comes around." is very true in Islam. Every soul will be recompensed as per its intention and there is no fooling Allah, subhaana wa taala.

What's Ahead of You?

Bism Illah wa as salaamu alaykum wa Rahmat Allah wa Barakatuh.

Lately I've been mentioning to the children the importance of every action. I have been telling them that it is extremely relevant what we are doing when we die. I also make it clear to them that life isn't something to take for granted. So often, when we go to Masjid an Nabawi, we have the honor of praying janazah for someone, and at least 50% of the time, we are praying for a child. These are wonderful moments to make it real to them that children, just like them, die.  So, I remind them to think about what they are doing and if it is beneficial or pleasing to Allah. I ask them to consider in their activities, deeds, and words, whether they are pleasing Allah or shaytaan.

Subhaan Allah. I do this for my children, but it is something that we adults desperately need to think about every waking moment. Are we realistic and objective enough about what we do and say? Do we ask those critical questions: "Who am I pleasing - Allah or shaytaan?" and "Will this help me get to Jennah?" Better to ask ourselves now, before it is too late.

"Oh you who believe! Fear Allah and keep your duty to Him. And let every person look to what he has sent forth for the morrow, and fear Allah. Verily, Allah is all aware of what you do." Al-Hashr, ayah 18

Some peoples' perspective is that they have their whole life ahead of them; others are always conscious that death is near. Both are true, but the latter is the absolute reality.

Laughter and Tears: An Introspection

BismIllah wa as salaamu alaykum wa Rahmat Allah wa Barakatuh.

Some of you know me personally. You've met me, sat with me, eaten with me, and probably laughed with me. Some of you have no idea what I am like, except for what I write here. However, most of you probably know that I have a sense of humor and a positive outlook. I have even been described as "chipper" and "bubbly" by my dear sisters. All thanks and praise to Allah, Who is the sole creator of any good in me!   

Just a few moments ago, while listening to children laugh over foolish matters, I remembered this saying.  

Our beloved Prophet Muhammad said, "O followers of Muhammad! By Allah, if you knew what I know, you would weep much and laugh little." [Sahih al-Bukhari, Vol. 8, #627]

Then, me being me, I immediately thought of how I'm always smiling, cheerful, and trying to infuse that into others. There is much laughter in my life. Uh oh! Is that a problem? Am I ignoring the Prophet's (salla Allahu alayhi wa sallam) words and warning? I had to consider the reason for my laughter and cheer. I had, for a moment, to remind myself of what I tell sisters who meet me and comment on those "sunny" qualities. I tell them this:

"Every day I wake up and give praise and thanks to Allah. I am overwhelmed by His Generosity and Mercy, by His Blessings and His Love. How can I not smile when every single thing He sends me is out of Love for me? How can I not be bubbling with joy and happiness? I have the most perfect and complete Love I could ever imagine!"

So, if my smiles and laughter are all to acknowledge and give thanks for Allah's countless Blessings, can they be bad or a waste of time? No. They are ibadah. They are shukr. They are sadaqah. They are daw'ah. 

On the flip side, I cry a lot. I am a veritable leaky tap! Friends see this, too. We may be sitting anywhere and the mention of Allah's Mercy, a reward for a simple word or task, or some hadith by our beloved Prophet, salla Allahu alayhi wa sallam, and I'm dabbing at my eyes. Don't even get me started about how Allah chose me to be one of His servants in Islam, or I'll be bawling for a week!

In the middle of an Arabic class, where Hajj was being discussed, I burst into tears over the huge reward for the accepted Hajj and my desperation to go. While attending the Sunday Islamic classes with my children two years ago in the States, I cried in nearly every lesson over the things the teacher was telling the children about the account of good deeds and bad, the aakhirah, etc. Fortunately, by now, my children are used to my "religious tears." They still ask why I am crying, but once they hear it is because of something related to our deen, they brush it off as normal. 

I cry, desperately, over my mistakes and my shortcomings. I cry, uncontrollably at times, over fear of losing my way or being touched by the Hellfire. At times I wonder if death is approaching for me soon, lol, with such strong emotions over all things from Allah and against Him. However, I have great hope in my heart of Allah, subhaana wa taala's, shade for my tears and my love, when I remember this hadith:

"Seven will be granted the shade of Allâh on a day when there will be no shade but His. A just ruler, a youth who has been brought up worshipping Allâh, a man whose heart is attached to the mosque, two people who love each other for the sake of Allâh and meet and part upon that, a man who is allurred by a woman of high standing and beauty and he says, "I fear Allâh", one who gives charity in secret so that his left hand does not know what his right hand has given, and a man whose eyes fill up with tears when he remembers Allâh in private" (Bukhârî, Muslim and others)

So, I say to you all smile and be happy, because Allah Loves you! Cry in awe and desperation, because you are weak and humble. Laugh and cry for all the right reasons, so that it will all be on your account as ibadah and increase in your emaan and taqwa, bi ithn Illah taala.

Is your blog a true friend?

Bism Illah wa as salaamu alaykum wa Rahmat Allah wa Barakatuh.

As usual, something happened today that triggered this post, but the seed has been growing in my mind for a while now. I read many different blogs from all kinds of different people. Some are about Islam, some by people just struggling through this dunya, some about polygany, and all manner of other topics.

What I have found in my "readels" (a combination of reading and travels) is that there are some blogs that are good friends to the blogger and there are some that are truly their enemy. When what we write is sincere and pleasing to Allah, regardless of what it is about, then that writing is our friend. It will stand up on Yawn Al-Qiyamah and testify for us. It will be written on our right-hand side - amongst our good deeds. Now this doesn't have to be writing directly about Islam; it may be on health, environment, safety, or any number of other things that will benefit others and in some way encourage them to good. After all, taking care of our bodies and the earth are all part of the amanah (trust) Allah has bestowed upon us.  Aaah! When I read jewels from some of the beloved bloggers I follow, I literally pray for their elevation in Jennah al Firdaus.

So what are those blogs that are our enemies? The ones where we air our stinking thinking. The ones where we expose our sins or the sins of others. The ones where we backbite...because anonymity doesn't negate the fact that you are speaking ill of another. The ones where things that should be private and precious are put out in public. The ones where emotions get the better of us and we say things that we later regret or have to delete. These are the posts and blogs that thrill shaytaan and are a written - public for all to see - deficit on our account with Allah, azza wa jaal. I wrote something about sisters who struggle to hold their tongues, that really applies to everyone in the whole wide world as well as blogs and every other form of media. While it is always difficult to do, that hadith saying that if you cannot say something nice, you must not speak, is extremely important and relevant.

Not one of us knows when Allah will end our time on this earth. Do we want to leave with a public enemy sitting on the Internet, broadcasting to the world? Please, check your blog and make sure that it is your friend!

I try to check my posts regularly, but if you find something that you think might be pleasing shaytaan in my blog, please let me know. That is how you can show you love me ; D

Just One of My Fears...

BismIllah wa as salaamu alaykum wa Rahmat Allah.


Many things are chugging through, flitting about in, wandering in and out of, and seriously on my mind. One of them, which is extremely important and is a great fear of mine is the danger of enjoying having people agree with me, praising, or showing appreciation for what I do, write, or say to them.

When I write, I put my ideas out into cyberspace for the purpose of self-development, to communicate with friends, and in case it might benefit anyone who happens to read them. I have asked myself if I would write if nobody ever commented or responded in any way to it. The answer is yes. I write because I believe there is benefit in it for me. As I grow, struggle, and strive I keep an account of at least some of what my mind and heart are going through. Perhaps, years from now, my children will read all this and have a better idea of who their mother really is, what she was about, and how much she put into the whole family's growth and development.

However, when I get a comment that someone agrees with me or says thanks for posting something, I often stand at the stove (don't ask me why this place) and worry to myself that I might have a trace of "praise junkie" in me. Audhu b'Illahi min ash-shaytaan ir-rajeem! That is so frightening. Also, I fear the sin of kibr (feeling proud of myself) because of something I wrote that is agreed with or appreciated. Ugh! I know that the perfect words are the Quran, that the most beneficial words for our life practice are the ahadith, and that the light shed on the Quran and Sunnah come from the true scholars. They are my focus for reading, learning, and attainment.  So what is the point of writing anything?

Okay, I've brought myself to this point. I understand that we have all those beautiful resources, and those are what I read, turn to, and strive to base my life on. However, I am striving, struggling, and going through all kinds of developmental stages which other mere humans may well relate to. I'm not "THERE" yet, and never will be...but perhaps sharing my journey will encourage or at least give me company along the path...ya Rabb, inshaa'Allah ALWAYS the siraat al mustaqeem - ameen.

Bitter Hatred

Bism Illah wa as salaamu alaykum.

Rancour, or rancor if you prefer the US English spelling is defined as bitterness or  hatred towards someone. It is an extremely strong emotion and one I have both considered in my life and discussed with friends. The discussion usually goes along the lines of it being a bad feeling and something we should avoid or fight in ourselves. It is sometimes connected with a feeling towards someone who we believe we should be forgiving and maintaining the ties of sisterhood with or should be nicer to and allow more of our time.

Firstly, let me clearly state that I have no bitterness or rancor in my heart for people who have wronged me. Truly, they have not harmed me, they have harmed themselves and their account with Allah, subhaana wa taala. He is The Fair, The Just...I have not a single worry about that. May Allah guide them and me to a better place - ameen.

However, I do have bitter hatred  for shaytaan, his traps and plots, his long-term machinations, and his friends, allies, and helpers. I have no doubt that it comes purely from hating what Allah, azza wa jal, hates. Therefore, I cannot consider it wrong to have this feeling if I am truly a believer, submitting my whole self to my Creator.

The problem is, how on earth do I deal with it? How can I find an Islamic solution to dealing with people whose behavior is abhorrent to me and for whom I feel rancor? Moreover, how can I tone down my feelings and reactions to behaviors that shaytaan loves? I may not have rancor for the person, but their behavior evokes strong feelings of abhorrence.

After much struggling, I have found that avoidance and is the best policy as far as possible. After all, we are on the deen our our companions, so one will not draw ever closer to those who don't love what Allah Loves. I just leave it to Allah and get on with my life. But when I cannot simply extricate myself from those people or situations, dealing decently, having manners, patience, and diplomacy is important. I cannot hide my feelings well, so it is important that, at least, I hold my tongue. If I cannot speak in a polite and gentle way, then shut up.

That's where I am right now. Every now and then I end up saying something, not in the best of ways but not wrongly or rudely, that leaves me feeling I have a long way to go on this subject. May Allah help and guide me and all who struggle with this problem - ameen.


One thing that comforts me, lets me know that I'm not alone in my feelings or struggles is the knowledge that our beloved Prophet, sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam, used to make dua' to Allah to remove rancor from his heart. What a blessing and a mercy our Prophet, sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam, is to us all..wa al hamdu l'Illahi Rabbil aal Ameen!

My Heart is Constricted and my Tears cannot be Contained

BismIllah wa as salaamu alaykum.

Put this day down in my history book. There have only been a few of them in my life...since being Muslim. This is one of those days when the thing I cannot tolerate happened. I was misunderstood by someone dear to me and I hurt her. My speech and actions caused her to cry. As soon as I realised, I apologised and tried to clear it up. However, that was the least of the matter.

I cannot stand to be misinterpreted or misunderstood by those close to me. I'm not talking about the difference in British English or American English. I'm talking about someone thinking there is something negative, malicious, hurtful, condescending, or hateful in what I say. When someone interprets my words or actions in a way pleasing to shaytaan, I become ill. My heart is constricted, my stomach is in knots, and I cannot raise a genuine smile without tears.


Mashaa'Allah, by now the matter has been cleared up and I have managed, through a torrent of tears, to apologise again and make it clear that this was a big mistake on my part. Why? Because, I should take more care about what I say and how I react to people, taking into consideration how it might be misconstrued. Why? Because taking care of my every dealing with others is part of taqwa and part of loving for others what I love for myself.

However, even though all is well between this young girl and myself now, I am not fine. I have sat in prayer, drippy-nosed and runny-eyed making dua' al istighfar and praying Allah will guide me to much better conduct and thoughtfulness. I'm disappointed in myself; sick of my stupid mistakes. Audhu b'Illahi min asshaytaan irrajeem!

Don't worry. I cannot leave it at that. I'm grateful to my Rabb that He resolved the misunderstanding today. I'm grateful to have this experience to humble me and to, inshaa'Allah, guide me to improvement. I'm grateful that my heart is in ruins and I am in a state of despair when I do something wrong. All thanks and praise is for Allah, who gives us EXACTLY what we need, EXACTLY when we need it....for verily the reminder benefits the believer and the lesson increases taqwa and emaan.

How Many Atoms Make a Bomb?

BismIllah wa as salaamu alaykum.

Yet again, I was in tears after a thought struck me today. It came during the Jumu'ah prayer and just developed from that point forward. How many small things does it take to end up with something big? How many little indiscretions, little mistakes, or omissions can we make before it ends up being a serious issue to answer for on Yawm id-Deen (the Day of Judgement)?

We are told to follow the Quran and the Sunnah. We are told to love the Prophet Muhammad (sal Allahu alayhi wa salaam) more than we love our own selves and families. We are told to emulate the example of the Prophet (sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam), to take what he gives us and leave the rest.

We are told that if we don't have something good to say, "ismut" - we cannot say anything at all. How many times do we forget or simply ignore that command? How many times do we forget to remind our children to step into the bathroom with their left foot, step out with their right foot, and say the appropriate dua'? How many times do we forget ourselves? How many times do we dhikr after the fard prayer so quickly that we paid no attention to what we were saying? How many times have we let something, or someone, get in the way of us dhikring at all?

How many times do we stand up or walk around eating or drinking. Many of us can quote the ahadith about the etiquettes of eating, about sitting when we eat or drink, about eating with our right hand, about taking the piece of food nearest to us, and filling just 1/3  of our stomach with food, etc. We relate these etiquettes to our children and remind them to say "bismIllah" before they eat, but then we relax...we forget as we pass them something with our left hand. We don't pay attention to them eating with their left hand. We don't check if they said bism'Illah. We don't tell them to sit down to eat and drink. We forget to be the model for them and follow those guidelines ourselves. Everyone eats until they are full.


How many atoms does it take to make a bomb - around 53,000 in reality, but in just one day we commit so many small errors, omissions, or sins that they can easily add up to a bomb before we even know it. Some people think I'm very fastidious about these things, and in general I try to cover all the bases, but I find myself constantly missing something or other. Alhamdul'Illah, we err and we seek forgiveness...but when the errors, omissions, and sins are from our own laziness or carelessness, then I wonder to myself how many will it take before we have something huge on our left-hand side account to answer for?

Audhu b'Illahi min asshaytaan irrajeem!

Could That Be Me?

BismIllah wa as salaamu alaykum.

Once I posted a list of 7 Women Not to Marry on Muslim Space. It gave the names in Arabic for the type of personality and the description. Subhaan Allah, what a response that got! Indignance about how such a thing could be posted, rejection of the concept that women have such unpleasant qualities, snide remarks saying that with that attitude I would never get married. Of course, that came from someone who thought I was a man posting the list. It was a stark contrast to the reactions on the sister's group, where I also posted the same thing.

On the group, sisters commented that they prayed they would not be in any of those categories and sought refuge with Allah from such qualities. The sisters did a mental checklist to see if, or what, they were guilty of. Every time I read the post, so did I. In fact, whenever I read something warning against certain qualities, behaviors, and mindsets that are hated by Allah, I always do a self-examination and ask myself, "Could that be me?"

Over the years, I have met several sisters who do exactly the same thing. They consider everything with that all-important question, "Could that be me?" and seek to correct any mistakes if they identify them in themselves. They show, through their actions, that they have humble hearts and sincerely strive to please Allah. Even the most improbable scenario of wrongdoing, they will seriously consider to see if any trace of it can be detected in their own selves. There are many more out there...and sight unseen I love them all.

We human beings are incredibly imperfect, and that is Allah's Design. However, what is important is to realise that and seek out our failings. How can we make taubah, sincere repentance for our sins and errors, if we don't even acknowledge that we are prone to them and make them every day? How can we be humble if we think we have great knowledge of Islam and don't continually seek understanding and truth? What we know is a speck of dust in the universal atmosphere. How can we love for others what we love for ourselves, if we don't ask ourselves the question, "Could that be me?"


All praise and thanks to Allah, Who gives us such beautiful insights to earning His pleasure!

Attention/Drama Addiction

BismIllah wa as salaamu alaykum.

Ever meet someone who had a problem that never went away? Someone who would call with their latest dramas surrounding the problem and ask for advice? Someone who never took the advice, but simply wanted the attention and "wow" factor that their situation could evoke?

I've met a few of those people during my adult life, mashaa'Allah. I have little tolerance for drama and wallowing in a situation. For me, I take seriously the hadith, "If you see a wrong, change it with your hand. If you cannot, speak out against it, and if that fails, hate it with your heart." Well, I've done all three at different times.

One friend, who was very caught up in a drama, I told directly. It was a simple statement that she was not getting anywhere and simply had become addicted to the attention and sympathy that her situation was getting. I said that if she truly was so upset about it all, she needed to act in accordance with the Quran and the Sunnah.

Another, I felt deeply was not sincere and so left her to dole out the dramatic stories to someone else. After all, Mai is extremely intolerant of people who keep ignoring Allah's Signs and do what THEY want. I was guided to simply hate it with my heart and stay away from that bad companion.

For another, I exercised the patience and diplomacy that is only expended on those souls I truly love for the sake of Allah. I spoke out against it. This time, it didn't work. Qadr Allah, masha' fa'al. (It was Destined by Allah, and He Does as He Wills).

So, what did I learn from all this? shaytaan is truly a clever and underhanded enemy to us. he gets us from so many angles. It starts with feeling the comfort of people to communicate and advise on our problems. Then those people become a part of our life and we thrive on the attention and company. We get used to them dropping everything and focusing solely on us. We become drama addicts. Then, somewhere in our subconscious, we realise that if our problem is resolved, they won't be there anymore. The attention, the "fan club," the support team will go back to their lives because we are fine. And so, shaytaan whispers to keep the drama alive. He whispers not to take the advice and gives an endless stream of reasons. However the real reason is to keep the fitnah, the problem, alive and not act for Allah's pleasure. Even if the problem resolves itself in spite of you, shaytaan will present all manner of other things to turn into dramas to illicit the craved for attention.

Audhu b'Illahi min asshaytaan irrajeem!

Stinking Thinking

BismIllah wa as salaamu alaykum.

Ever wonder how I manage to always come across with positive things and encouragements to turn to Allah? Ever think to yourself, "That sister just can't be real! She's always blogging positive stuff..." ?

Well, of course I have negative thoughts. Of course I am plagued by shaytaan and his rotten whispers. Of course I make a truckload of mistakes that send me into desperate, tearful pleas of forgiveness to Allah. Why aren't you reading about them? Because all that is stinking thinking. The thinking shaytaan just loves us to have and works at cultivating in our minds 24 hours a day.

Most certainly I have some unpublished posts that focused on the negative. That's why they are unpublished. Hey, I'm not giving shaytaan a billboard on my blog page! I'm not taking the chance of pulling other people into stinking thinking as well. The second I start sharing my stinking thinking with others, I'm spreading shaytaan's work and giving him pleasure. So, I don't share it. I write a little, read it and see clear as day that it's all shaytaan's devilish work, and then I don't publish it. Usually, in not publishing it I manage to send that rotten devil packing. Otherwise, I scream, shout, and kick shaytaan out.

Now, on a couple of occasions I might mention some stinking thinking, but only as an example of what shaytaan whispers and what that thinking should be replaced with. I do that because I know others have the same struggles and thoughts and I hope to give them something good and pleasing to Allah to replace them with. For the most part, however, my policy is to send the stinking thinking right back to the stinker who started it all.