My Quran and shaytaan = test anxiety

Assalaamu alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.

For almost a year now, I have been taking Quran classes twice a week alhamdulillah! I regained my hifdh of around 3.5 ajzaa and am memorizing more, working on my tajweed and ridding myself of all the bad habits I've acquired over the 12 years since I was attending in-person classes while living in Madinah.

So, imagine my feeling when I have Quran tests and shaytaan works every angle to sabotage me. I have test anxiety; I cannot stop my nerves from wreaking havoc with my mind. I do everything I can think of, from isti'aadhah to istighfar to du'a to using a siwak, to reciting over and over again. Subhaan Allah, I come to the test knowing all my suwar and yet, even when I close my eyes and visualize the page of the mushaf in front of me, my mouth says something else. 

Subhaan Allah! shaytaan wants me to feel inadequate. shaytaan wants me to feel upset, defeated, like giving up. shaytaan wants me to admit he has power over me. So, what do I do? 

I have sabr. I persevere. I intensify my studies and do even more! Every time he pushes me to mess up a test, I am driven to spend even more time with the Quran, even more time reciting and reading. In this way, it contradicts his plan. Eventually, he will leave me alone in this and move on to some other plots. Perseverance in the path of Allah never fails. 

May Allah make us all successful and ever increase our love, connection, knowledge, memorization, reading, recitation, and implementation of His miraculous book - ameen!

What is Enough?

Assalaamu alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.

Subhaan Allah, the subject of what is enough has been recurring for me for years - from not shooting for the moon when all you need is reachable in a low tree branch, to considering what is beneficial and what is just superfluous. I have many thoughts on this subject and there are so many nooks and crannies to delve into! 

Before I start on the concept of enough, I will set the bar by stating that whatever we have at any given time is perfectly enough as that is what Allah has decreed for us. Our glass is always full of exactly what we should have, and each of us has a customized full glass. So, when we strive for better, we need to consider what kind of "better" we are striving for and if that "better" is for our aakhirah or our dunya. We need to consider what we are chasing, what our goals are, and if our striving and priorities align with those goals.

So, in terms of money, how much is enough? This will vary widely from person to person, but things to consider are how much are bills, how much is needed for shelter, transportation, food, education, and whatever else secures a stable life with the ability to worship Allah freely. For some, this is a mountain to climb to achieve, for others they reached the goal of enough and surpassed it in spades. 

If you have enough to live comfortably, what is the benefit of taking more time to dedicate to earning more? What benefit is there? Does pursuing more money-making projects or other projects that you would like to do outweigh taking more time for Allah, learning Arabic, memorizing and implementing the Quraan, slowing down and living more in tune with nature. What is your goal? Dunya or aakhirah? If you are driven by the desire to do many different projects, businesses, or hobbies, what are they for? Money? Self-satisfaction and pleasure? A social service? Do they serve your dunya or aakhirah.  If both, what benefits both and what distracts? These are not simple questions because they require a deep honesty and clarity of focus. 

If we want to truly aim for our aakhirah, leave behind the extravagance of excess and know what is enough, then it is time to make salaat ul istikhaara a regular part of our day, every single day. It's time to follow the guidance of Allah instead of our nafs and shaytaan and accept fully when Allah shows us where our priorities should lie and what is enough. 

Subhaanaka Allahumma wa bihamdika, laa Illaaha illa Anta, astaghfiruka wa atoobu ilayk.

Your first response changes your whole life!

 Assalaamu alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.

Subhaan Allah wa alhamdulillah wa laa illaaha ila Allah wa Allahu Akbar!

There is not a single thing that Allah sends that isn't a blessing, whether clear or disguised. Not a single thing!

Before I go any further, let's just think of the story of Musa and Khidr in Surat ul Kahf. Musa assumed the worst of Khidr's actions, told him off, until Khidr said okay, that's it...and before parting with Musa explained the reality of his actions. Those actions were done for the sake of Allah! They were done at Allah's command! They were done in obedience to Allah! They were done for the best of reasons, which were not obvious to the onlooker, unless...

and here's where we come to the big reveal. If Musa had said one phrase upon seeing Khidr make a hole in the boat, kill the boy, and rebuild the wall it would have changed his whole mindset. What is that phrase? 

Alhamdulillah!

All thanks and praise are for Allah!

So the lesson we learn from that story is that qadr Allahu wa maa shaa fa'al - Allah decreed it and He does what He Wills and that Allah's Plan is the only Perfect Plan. 

Certainly, we must know Allah - His Names and Attributes - to understand that everything He sends is for our good, therefore there is good in everything He sends, hence we say first and foremost: alhamdulillah. 

How does this help us? Because sabr - patience - is at the first strike. Saying alhamdulillah reminds us first that we need to thank Allah for whatever He sends to us and praise Him for it. It changes your mindset immediately to see, or at least seek, the blessing in what He (azza wa jal) sent.

Here is a real-life example.

Someone sends you a message and shaytaan shouts in your ear, "Hey, that's really mean and spiteful!" You listen to that rotten devil and respond, "Let's fear Allah," or "Allah is just," implying that the person doesn't fear Allah or isn't just. However, if you immediately said alhamdulillah, it would send shaytaan running. Your response would reassure you that there is good in this message, and you focus on the good instead of assuming fault with the person who sent the message. That simple phrase stopped you from bad suspicions or assumptions about another Muslim, from insulting another Muslim, and reinforced what is fard (obligatory) upon us, which is husnu-thann - having the best suspicions of others and of Allah, subhaanahu wa ta'ala. Instead of having a negative response, we set ourselves up for success and, subhaan Allah, how quickly and easily we see the wisdom and benefit in what was sent to us when we trust Allah's perfect plan. 

Subhaanak Allahumma wa bihamdik laa ilaaha illa Allah, astaghfirullah wa atoobu ilayk

Ignorance Destroys

Assalaamu alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.

Subhaan Allah, those who are blessed with knowledge - beneficial knowledge, aka 'ilm - know the critical importance of "sami'na wa ata'na" - we hear, and we obey. They know that in following Islam, following the Qura'an and the Sunnah, they will have ease without conflict. Why? Because they aren't subject to opinion, personal feelings, or their own interpretation of any matter. They seek the legislated path and they stick to it, with all else being thrown aside or never even coming into play. I wish it for every believing Muslim on this planet - ameen.

Fitna doesn't grow out of Islam. It grows out of the absence of Islam. It grows out of the absence of knowledge and adherence to it. Fitna doesn't grow out of proof and accountability; it grows out of ignorant self-conviction and sheer disobedience. Muslims, new and seasoned, are guilty of this. I went through that stage 30+ years ago and, after making extensive istighfar, I dread reverting to such a state again.

The enormity of the du'a Rabbi zidnee 'ilmaa is that increasing in sound Islamic knowledge frees your mind and heart. You live in peace and security because you are living "sami'na wa ata'na."

Subhaanak Allahumma wa bihamdik laa illaaha ilaa ant, astaghfiruka wa atoobu ilayk. 

Messages from Hail and a Tornado

 Assalaamu alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.

Over this summer we have had some mammoth hail storms, maashaa Allah. Twice we had baseball sized hail come thundering down, breaking windows, giving the siding on the house and our cars that dimpled golf ball effect. The second hailstorm, however, was followed by something altogether different. While we do not live in an area that is prone to any natural disasters, we had a tornado sweep through our area. This was a reminder that it doesn't matter where you live, even if it seems to be the safest, most secure place in the world, there is no way to escape Allah and what He, subhaanahu wa ta'ala, decrees for you. Two old travel trailers were completely decimated, the shipping container office was tipped over, 1650 gallon water tanks were hurled miles down the road, broken to pieces to be seen in fields and pastures afar. 

The things we lost were things that had been left to go to ruin - unfinished projects, like nearly everything on our land and in our lives. And the thing that was damaged was filled with things, purchase after purchase, stuff upon stuff. 

I thought to myself, we can amass as much as we like, shop till we drop, accumulate, plan to fix up, beautify... but it can be gone in a minute. So, think if it's really worth it. Do what matters, do what will always remain for you if nothing physical is left.

Alhamdulillahi Rabb il aal ameen for all the signs, reminders, and warnings He, in His infinite Mercy, sends us!  

Subhaaka Allahumma wa bihamdika, laa ilaaha il ant, astaghfiruka wa atoobu ilayk. 

My Remedy for Stinking Thinking

 Assalaamu alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.

I go through thoughts of not wanting to do things. I actually blow it up in my mind, making the task, action, or responsibility bad, awful even. But then, I understand that the attitude is being fueled by shaytaan. He doesn't want me to succeed. He wants to corrupt my thinking and sabotage my rewards.

So, action number one is to say the isti'aadhah (seek refuge with Allah from shaytaan, the accursed).

Action number two is to say the du'a, 

يَا حَيُّ يَا قَيُّومُ بِرَحْمَتِكَ أَسْتَغِيثُ أَصْلِحْ لِي شَأْنِي كُلَّهُ وَلَا تَكِلْنِي إِلَى نَفْسِي طَرْفَةَ عَيْنٍ

(O Ever-Living, O Eternal One, by Your mercy I seek help; rectify all my affairs and do not leave me in charge of my affairs even for the blink of an eye).

Action number three, I ask myself this question regarding the thing I'm having negative thoughts about:

"Will I go to Jennah?"

Subhaan Allah, how that question puts everything into perspective! Subhaan Allah! 

Now, you might be thinking, how can you ask that question? You can't answer it; only Allah can. Well, here's where I explain.

Abu Huraira reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “If a woman prays her five prayers, fasts her month of Ramadan, guards her chastity, and obeys her husband, she will enter Paradise from any gate she wishes.”

Source: Ṣaḥīḥ Ibn Ḥibbān 4163

Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Al-Arna’ut

عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ قَالَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ إِذَا صَلَّتِ الْمَرْأَةُ خُمُسَهَا وَصَامَتْ شَهْرَهَا وَحَصَّنَتْ فَرْجَهَا وَأَطَاعَتْ بَعْلَهَا دَخَلَتْ مِنْ أَيِّ أَبْوَابِ الْجَنَّةِ شَاءَتْ

4163 صحيح ابن حبان

9/471 المحدث شعيب الأرناؤوط خلاصة حكم المحدث صحيح في تخريج صحيح ابن حبان

In addition, take any hadith you choose regarding fulfilling your amana (trust) with Allah, taking care of your flock, the good deed erasing the bad deed, the rewards for the good deeds, and that everything we do with sincerity and the right attitude that is pleasing to Allah is aiding our Jennah account. 

Now can you see how easy it is to ask myself that question? That simple little question puts everything back into perspective and I can see that a small, simple, perhaps even insignificant thing can move me a step closer to that ultimate goal. It even makes me assess whether the things I might miss in life and relationships are really important in the scheme of things. It opens my mind to how those things are blessings, things that I can be grateful for because they increase my tawakkal, my du'a, my love of Allah, and my turning to Him for everything.

I have even asked my husband on occasion, "Will I go to Jennah?" and he looks at me quizzically. Then I quote that hadith and say that I'm doing my faraa'id so is he pleased with me? Subhaan Allah, it is a motivation to meet and exceed! What seemed mundane and tiresome when looking through shaytaan-stained glasses becomes a bargain not to be missed! Allahu Akbar wa l'Illah il hamd! 

Subhaanaka Allahumma wa bihamdika laa ilaaha illa Ant, astaghfiruka wa atoobu ilayk. 

Power and Strength

Assalaamu alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.

I have been thinking about marriage, relationships in general, and all the difficulties they can entail. Some people are in such destructive relationships that they are forced to leave in the end. They can no longer take it, some final straw has been broken, or they are abused (emotionally, mentally, physically - take your pick) and it has become intolerable. The situation has controlled the outcome and they had to leave; it wasn't their decision. They leave weak and broken, like the knocked-out boxer being dragged out of the ring. They are drained, spent and have to rebuild themselves. Qadr Allahu wa maa shaa fa'al!

So what happens when Allah gives you strength, through His blessings of emaan and tawakkal? This strength is power. It enables you to look at the situation, assess it, and decide whether you will stay or go. It gives you the ability to make Allah's pleasure your goal, rise above many situations of the dunya, and see, find, or make the good in your situation. It takes strength to walk away from a situation, but it also takes strength to stay in it. There are people in difficult relationships that have the ability to stay or go. They can look at the pros and cons, keep their eye on the goal, and decide if they want to remain or leave because they have the fortitude to do both. 

I have come to view that strength as a very difficult and dangerous thing. It can hold someone in a relationship that isn't beneficial. It can lead to enabling the other person in the relationship because their strength allows them to tolerate things that otherwise would not be acceptable. And yet, it can be the most amazing example of sabr - patient perseverance - and may hold the best rewards. 

If you are blessed with that strength, don't take it for granted and think yourself sufficient to handle whatever comes your way. Remember that your strength lies with Allah, and Allah must always be turned to for continued guidance and clarity that what you are doing is right and best. The power and strength that Allah blessed you with only remains a blessing when you give Him full credit for it. Know that you can become helpless and weak if you don't turn to the One Who gave you that strength and seek His help and guidance in all your affairs.

Subhaanak, Allahumma wa bihamdik, laa illaaha illa Allah, astaghfiruka wa atoobu ilayk.

 

Inability to Communicate - I Understand

Assalaamu alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.

This post might seem a bit odd, considering all the positive stuff of late, but it's just a testimony to one of many things you may experience or feel. 

Some marriages are close, with strong and open communication. Some are not. There are marriages and relationships where even when you ask to go for a walk to talk or make time for communication, you are shut down. You are not allowed to communicate or express your feelings, ideas, or concerns. Any glimmer of a conversation that might have criticism, a dislike of something, or trying to work through a disagreement is not entertained. You may feel frustrated, resentful, isolated, sick and stressed from having no outlet for your feelings, unheard, uncared for, or dehumanized...how about ticking the box for "all of the above"? 

I want you to know that I understand. You are not alone. Although this can drive you explode and have outbursts that have negative repercussions, quickly make istighfar. Allah is Al Ghafoor, Al Afuww, Ar-Raheem!

Please remember that this is a whopping big reminder that you must take the words you say in every rakaah of every prayer seriously. "Iyyaaka na'abudu wa iyyaaka nasta'een!" (You alone we worship and You alone we turn to for help!) You can always turn to Allah, He hears everything. He knows before you open your mouth! He knows you inside out and He never shuts the door on you when you reach out. He is perfect; relationships with human beings are not. Deepen your communication with Allah and He will make a way for you. 

Subhaanaka Allahumma laa ilaaha illa Ant, astaghfiruka wa atoobu ilayk. 

 

Identifying My Mistake

Assalaamu alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.

I kept replaying the sentence in my mind: "I feel that I am not a priority to those I make my priority." Then, as I was driving this morning it all came together clearly.  

I spent the day before telling a sister that she needed to take care of herself. That she would not be able to take care of her family if she wasn't maintaining herself. I even quoted the Qur'aan, where Allah says in Surat Tahreem to "save yourself and your family from the fire that is fueled by men and stones." He, subhaanahu wa ta'ala, tells us to save ourselves first and then our families. 

I have been taking steps to help myself, such as going to the doctor with a long list of years' long issues. I started physical therapy for 2 years of hip pain, 4 years of knee pain, and 19 years of carpal tunnel pain. How's that for not taking care of myself, just putting up with stress and pain? How's that for not honoring the body Allah blessed and entrusted me with, and yet running myself into the ground to try to take care of others? All these years of serving everyone else, of trying to please others at my own expense, of putting up with one niggling health issue after another, have turned my body into a tight, knotted up repository for stress and tension.

Yesterday, I enrolled in a program to fix another health condition that I've had for around 10 years, with the clear intention of taking care of my needs and addressing another stressor.  I'm taking time to do my PT exercises and stretches each day. I haven't been for my walks, still haven't done my daily time in the sunshine, but I'm still finding my way to taking the steps.

There has been a subtle change in my home since I started going for PT appointments and making time for my healing and wellbeing. Others have done more to help, alhamdulillah. They have perhaps seen me as an individual, rather than just a good old dependable part of the family. 

So then, what was my mistake?  I don't need to be a high priority to others, and I can still make others my priority. However, I need to be a top priority to myself.

Subhaanaka Allahumma wa bihamdihi, laa ilaaha illaa Ant, astaghfiruka wa atoobu ilayk.

Horrible Stuff

 Assalaamu alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.

Subhaan Allah, I lost myself again. Not the autopilot, disconnect I sometimes feel when I'm busy, but to a whole new level, wa audhu b'Illahi min ashaytaan irrajeem! 

I have been feeling lonely. I feel that nobody wants to know me, know how I feel, what I like, what I dislike, my struggles. I feel that everything is expected of me, and yet nobody sees that I am a human being with needs. I feel like everything falls on me. I have to make contact, reach out to others, make the effort, be proactive. I feel pressure upon me and despair under that pressure. 

Please take note that I keep saying, "I feel...". That means that there are people around me and in my life who love me, care about me as a person, and maybe even truly want to be part of my life and do things I enjoy. I just don't feel like there are. Astaghfirullah! I want to go for walks, I'm not going anywhere. I cannot even fathom how to get anyone to walk with me. Sad, but true, I feel like running away...to nowhere.  

Oh, I need to read my own blog! I need to not take it personally when other people's idea of love isn't the same as mine. I need to rationalize that people have their own lives and don't have time to focus on me or listen to me. I feel that I am not a priority to those I make my priority. Yes, I seriously need to read my own blog! But no man is an island and while I'm never alone with my Perfect and Precious Rabb to turn to, He Who knows me inside out, I feel lonely surrounded by family and friends. 

Anyone know this feeling? Well, I know I need to do things to set myself right. I just have to fight through to increase in my ibadah and turn to Allah. He is the one to set right my heart and mind, to set right my relationships. 

Inshaa Allah, I will post again with my progress on this. It's been going on for a long time, so when I find solutions, I'll share inshaa Allah. 

Much love!

Subhaan Allahi wa bihamdihi, laa illaaha ila Ant, astaghfiruka wa atoobu ilayk.

 

Don't Turn Around

Bismillah wa assalaamu alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.

Something happened in summer 2015 that changed my thinking and behavior, maashaa Allah. We were in England visiting my parents and my husband and I were walking out of a shopping center when we saw a tall man of likely African descent with a long, brightly colored gown and an 18-24" high, furry, black, beehive hat on his head. My first instinct was to turn around and take another look at his outfit. However, the most overwhelming clarity came over me, maashaa Allah, and I kept my eyes focused straight ahead. I realised that it did not concern me; there was no valid reason for me to look at that man again. I told my husband the thought process I'd just been through and felt like I had moved to a new level of understanding of the hadith on the authority of Abu Hurayrah (radhi Allahu anh) who said: The Messenger of Allah (sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam) said:

"Part of the perfection of one's Islam is his leaving that which does not concern him."[Tirmidhi]

After that incident, not only did I find myself doing split second analyses of situations and stopping myself from many reactions that were not my concern, but I realised something else. If I had turned around, I'd have been no different from those people who turn back and stare at me and my daughters in our hijab and niqaab. So next time you pass someone dressed differently or unusual in some way, live the hadith and don't turn around.

Lessons from a bag of potatoes

Bismillah wa assalaamu alaykum.

The other day I took a bag of potatoes in order to prepare breakfast  and found that there was a bad potato that had made the potatoes near it start going bad. Yet again there was a powerful message from Allah in that bag of potatoes. One bad potato will eventually turn the whole bag bad.

Consider how Allah  tells us to only keep good companions and that we are on the Deen of our companions. He doesn't tell us to have mostly good companions and a few bad are okay. Neither does He say that if there are many good companions then it's okay to have just one bad one amongst them.

Now, obviously, we need to deal with the bad potato. We might cut off the bad part and use the remainder, but, most surely, we separate it from the good potatoes. This is much like life, where we do our best to handle bad people well and bring out the good, but do damage control and keep our distance.

Subhaanak Allahumma wa bihamdik, laa illaaha illaa ant, astaghfiruka wa atoobu ilayk.

The Muslim Man - The Conflict Within

Bismillah wassalaamu alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.

It appears to me that Muslim men, perhaps more so those who reverted and had relationships before Islam, have a conflict. They want the piety and beauty of an Islamic wife and family, but the base desires of sexual freedom and a woman like those on the street still exist. After all, the biggest jihad is against our nafs.

They want sexual excitement and spontaneity which dies a slow death with having a family. Pregnancy,babies, children,  etc. make acting on impulse and dressing to tempt and invite virtually impossible. Men have to repress their desires, do without. I'm not talking about actual intercourse, as a wife can be willing every day maashaa Allah, but the whole atmosphere and freedom of interaction is what they don't have. They may wish for the days before children came along, or yearn for the day when the children are all grown, to regain that free and impetuous sexuality.

A busy wife is a blessing, and a turn off. She doesn't have time for doting on her husband; other people and things take priority. So, while a man may understand and appreciate her ability to run the house, raise the children, and do all the extra she does, he is not getting what he wants/needs to feel satisfied. These are the biggest factors I see and have understood from my husband - polygany analyst and survivor - over the years, maashaa Allah.

Men have different tolerance levels and will handle the situation in a different way.  Most think they are too much man for one woman and seek other outlets. Problem is, for those who don't actually try polygany, they don't see the reality of it. Unless they take a childless woman who won't have any or a woman whose children are all grown, they will have the same exact situation with number two or three or four, as with number one as soon as they fall pregnant. They also don't have the chance to compare the women to see and appreciate those things in number one that subsequent wives lack.

Depending on how the man deals with his repressed feelings, he could be irritable, distant, withdrawn, or immerse himself in other activities - halaal or haraam. He will struggle with himself about his repressed feelings and will not want to admit that changes in his behavior are due to them...or justify his behavior due to them.

My husband, upon reading this, agreed that I have just about summed it up alhamdulillah! 

This moment – right NOW!

Bismillah wa assalaamu alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.

There are no coincidences. Everything in life is precisely and perfectly orchestrated by our Creator, Allah subhaana wa ta'ala. I was given a book many years ago entitled, “Divine Will and Predestination in light of the Qur'an and Sunnah'” by 'Umar S.al-Ashqar, which I have been re-reading this past few days. An extremely beneficial book, I intend to make it part of our Islamic studies curriculum this year inshaa Allah. There is a very important hadith quoted therein, that we need to open our eyes and minds to.

In Saheeh Al-Bukhari it is narrated from Abu Haazim from Sahl ibn Sa'd that during one of the military campaigns of the Prophet (sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam) there was a man who was excelling in fighting. The Prophet (sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam) looked at him and said,” Whoever wants to see a man from among the people of Hell, let him look at that man.” 

One of the people followed him, and at that point he was one of the fiercest fighters against the mushrikeen (polytheists), until he was wounded. Then he hastened his own death by driving his sword into his chest until the point emerged between his shoulders. The man (who had seen this) rushed back to the Messenger (sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam) and said, “I bear witness that you are the Messenger of Allah!” He said, “What happened?” He said, “You said to so and so, 'Whosoever wants to se a man from among the people of Hell, let them look at this man,' He was one of the greatest among us at fighting in defense of the Muslims, but I knew that he would not die like that. When he was wounded, he hastened his own death and killed himself.” At this, the Prophet (sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam) said: 

“A slave may do the deeds of the people of Hell, but he is one of the people of Paradise, or he may do the deeds of the people of Paradise, but he is one of the people of Hell. But it is the final deed that counts.”

Upon reflection, what is the most important thing we can learn from this? That regardless of what we have done in the past, whether it be years or seconds ago, what we have to put all our energy into is what we are doing right now.

Consider the crane accident at Masjid Al Haraam in Makkah; what a powerful reminder that Allah can take our worldly lives at any time, in any place, in any way He decrees. So with every action, every reaction, every decision about how to use our time, money, energy, skills, talents, and emotions remember that it may be the last thing we do. STOP and think that it IS the last thing we will do. How do we want to end? As a summation to our life, do we want to die while losing our temper shouting or screaming, doing, watching, or listening to something haraam, backbiting, being selfish and stingy, with severed ties of kinship or brotherhood/sisterhood, being lazy or skipping a prayer, or choosing our desires over Allah?

There is no point planning to do better later, tomorrow, or next time because Allah doesn't promise us that there will be a later, tomorrow, or next time. We don't know which act will be our last. So be aware, conscious, that it is all about NOW, this moment, and making the best decision to please Allah at each and every stage of our day so that we can end as the people of paradise. 

May Allah unite us all upon the ultimate success of His Pleasure – ameen.

Subhaanak Allahumma wa bihamdik laa ilaaha ilaa ant, astaghfiruka wa atoobu ilayk.

The Internet Talks - Part 2: Medicating and Curing

A man once asked Abû Hurayrah – Allâh be pleased with him, ‘What is al-taqwâ?” He replied, “Have you ever taken a path filled with thorns?” The man replied, “I have.” Abû Hurayrah asked him, “What did you do?” He replied, “When I saw a thorn I would dodge it or pass over it or behind it.” Abû Hurayrah said, “That is al-taqwâ.”

Al-Baihaqî, Al-Zuhd Al-Kabîr p351.

Bismillah wa assalaamu alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.

The key to resolving the problems associated with Internet use are to view going online just like a path filled with thorns - each and every thorn a tool of shaytaan to pierce our obedience to Allah.  Allah has presented us with the Internet as a huge test of discipline and taqwa. The Internet can be an excellent means for His pleasure and drawing closer to Him, when used within very specific limitations and intentions. Allah is watching you. There is no click on a site or surfing the web that isn't recorded, so if it isn't for benefit and some form of worship of Allah, then where is it going - the right-hand book (illiyyeen) or the left-hand book (sijjeen)?


Introspection about what occupies our heart is a good place to start, followed by a practical plan to develop and increase our love of Allah. When we fill our time with beneficial things, we crowd out the time that can be spent on non-beneficial things. Will we ever want to displease or disobey Allah when we think of the fact that He gives us EVERYTHING and exceeds every expectation, hope, desire, wish, and dream we could ever aspire to?
 
Here are some things to consider, or even to put on a bold screensaver or daily reminder, to remind and warn yourself before going on the internet, opening social network sites, etc.

Remember that everything we say on the internet represents Islam. Are we representing it truthfully, or lying about it? 

For example, we cannot "like", watch, or post a music video without pleasing shaytaan and spreading his evil call to following desires. Furthermore, unless we clearly state that we are sinning in doing so and that music is haraam, we have done one of two things (maybe more, but this is what I can think of):

• shown the understanding Muslims that we are openly following our desires
• presented a lie to uneducated Muslims and non-Muslims about Islam, as they will understand that it is an accepted and permissible thing.

If we wouldn't say it or reveal it to someone in person, we shouldn't reveal it on the net - it's still impermissible. 

For example,  describing our physical attributes, our talents, our preferences. If we wouldn't stand in front of a stranger and tell them such things with a clear conscience, then they should not be anywhere on the Internet either. Are we comfortable and happy to read whatever we post, comment on, or surf, out loud to our spouse, children, parents, and friends?

Before you "like" something, check if Allah and His Messenger - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam - would like it too.

This may seem simple, but actually we may have to research to find out whether it is permissible to "like" or post a certain statement or philosophy. We could post something that has elements of kufr, shirk, or is agreeing with something prohibited in our perfect deen.

*******

Here are some practical measures to troubleshoot Internet dangers for ourselves and those under our authority (children, wives, etc.).

1. Turn our screen, so what we are doing is visible to anyone and everyone around.
2. Project our screen on the wall, so it's larger than life and public property.
3. Make sure we are never alone with unmonitored computer/internet access.
4. Put programs on our computer to record our internet activity and have someone else review where we've been and how long we spent on it.
5. Set access times so we cannot go on at certain times.
6. Keep an Internet journal to  note down each time we use it, the intended benefit before using it  and whether we deviated from that. This is so tedious that it should really deter us from using the Internet unless absolutely necessary!  
7. Be transparent about what we type, like, or post. Never type anything our husband would not fully approve of. (My husband reads all my posts on these blogs, and if I comment on someone's blog I let him know.)
8. Have our grown son or daughter read our comment, post, or blog first.
9. Read it out loud to our children of all ages.

The android phone can also accept Internet filtering and restriction programs, and the last three on the list are a good way to troubleshoot Internet use on your phone. After facing the fact that such convenient Internet access is more fitnah than they can cope with, there are some of us who are opting for a return to flip phones for the safety of our aakhirah and our health.

This is probably one of the biggest challenges we will face in our lifetimes: conquering our desires and weaknesses when it comes to the Internet. With Ramadhaan approaching, we need to do everything we can to implement effective remedies and corrections so our fasting will not be tainted, devalued, or ruined by our Internet use. May Allah purify our intentions, fortify our resolve, and give us success in achieving His lasting pleasure - ameen!

Subhaanak Allahumma wa bihamdik laa illaha ila ant, wa astaghfiruka wa atoobu ilayk.

Give Ten People a Recipe...

Bismillah wa assalaamu alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.

Give ten people a recipe. Do you get ten identical results? No.

There are the people who follow it exactly, knowing that is the only way to get the right result. Even so, there may be slight variations depending on the brand and function of their oven, the type of utensils or kitchen equipment they use, and even the weather and their altitude. 

Then there are those who think they have a better technique, and change the recipe before even following the original directions. 

At least one will try to cut corners, skimping on quantities or using inferior or cheaper ingredients. 

There are the ones who can't read the recipe properly; their vision is blurred and so they misinterpret it.

Of the ten, someone may not understand units of measurement, and so rather than learn, they guess at the quantities.

And there are always the ones who couldn't care less and throw the recipe together uncaring about the result.

Which one of the those people are you? What would you expect your version of the recipe to turn out like?

Our Creator, Allah, gives us a recipe: a recipe for success that He names Islam.  

"...This day, I have perfected your religion for you, completed My Favor upon you, and have chosen for you Islam as your religion..."

Surat ul Maa'idah 3

The recipe is perfect, and He clearly tells us that following it will lead to eternal blissful reward. So, I ask you, what are you doing with His recipe? How can you follow it more accurately, for that perfect result?

What do words say?

Assalaamu alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakaatuh.

When we speak words, do we truly understand their meaning and what we are saying? I will give you a few examples.

1. "I wish I were thinner."
   
2. "I wish I had straight hair."
   
3. "I hate being lazy!"
   
4. "I hate being poor!"

The first sentence, "I wish I were thinner," says that the speaker doesn't like their weight and would like to lose some. It also implies that they are struggling to find the control they need to make weight loss or exercise happen to reach their goal. It is a self-directed statement.

The second sentence, "I wish I had straight hair," is a whole different story. It is saying that the speaker isn't happy with their hair and wishes it was a different texture. It is saying that the person isn't happy with how Allah specifically created something in them. This is not self-directed, but actually a complaint of dissatisfaction to Allah. It is called ingratitude, lack of appreciation, and lack of satisfaction or contentment with a characteristic of the body Allah gifted them with.

The third sentence, "I hate being lazy!" is another self-directed sentence, expressing an extreme dislike of laziness in themselves and setting a criteria of what should be avoided or corrected in regards to that bad quality.

The fourth sentence, "I hate being poor!" also expresses the speakers strong dissatisfaction with the amount of rizq (sustenance) Allah has provided for them at that time in their lives. I expresses not only disagreement with Allah's Judgement and Fairness, but also rejection of His Tests.

I won't belabor this; inshaa Allah you will see from these examples how important it is to think about what the words actually say, BEFORE saying them. Which angel would be recording those sentences, the right-hand one or the left-hand one?

May Allah increase our taqwa and emaan that we may speak with clear understanding words that are only pleasing to Him - ameen!

Little thoughts are not aways small...

Assalaamu alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh!

Shall I apologize again for not blogging in so long? Well, it is certainly not for lack of things to share with you, but I haven't had the time or computer access to type, Qadr Allah. It is disastrous in some ways because I also haven't written my ideas down in my pink journal, which means they get lost among the daily studies, teaching, mothering, wifing, cooking, and housework. Al hamdul'Illah, I say! Why, you ask? Because what will reach you, will reach you bi idhn Illah, ta'ala. And what will reach you will benefit you at the best time and be written at the best time, bi idhn Illah, ta'ala.

So, before I plunge back into "blogland" with more chunky subjects, I will share some of my little passing thoughts with you.You may find value in them, perhaps even more than in a lengthier writing on the subject.

• Parenting is an incredibly testing job, but as long as you know that you gave the right information and modeled the Qur'aan and the Sunnah, then inshaa Allah, you will have earned  your paycheck, even if mistakes were made.
  
• Beware of hypocrisy, that misalignment between what you believe or stand against and what you do. It can be the most impervious of things, like taking the scholars' ruling that photographs of things with souls for non-essential reasons are impermissible, but clicking "like" for people's photos or even commenting on them. 
  
• When you see someone dear to you showing some weakness in their religion, reach out and draw them closer to  you, so they can draw from your strength, obedience, and love of Allah.
  
• When we are presented with choices to make throughout our day, almost always there will be a choice more pleasing to Allah. Give your best, Allah will take care of the rest!
  
• How can we hold other people to account for not making us a priority in their lives, when we don't make Allah a priority in ours?
  
• A deed is accepted by Allah only if done with ikhlaas (sincerity) and conforming to the Qur'aan and the Sunnah. Are your deeds counting for you?
  
• Dua' is the the most powerful ally of the believer, but it can become impotent if you persist on your sins.
  
• If you ask Allah to show you His Haqq, then make sure when you see it you accept it, gratefully.
  
• Keep it simple. Being in this world as if you are a traveler doesn't cost hundreds of thousands of dollars in houses, furniture, cars, electronics, clothing, or vacations.

Hmmm, I wonder which of these you will like the best? Barak Allahu feekum!

Your Day in a Nutshell

Bism Illah wa assalaam wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.

 "My day is ruined!"

Ever hear someone say that, or say it yourself?

No.Your day isn't ruined. You ruined your day.

Your day is entirely in your control. It is all in how you act, think about things, and understand them.

There are two things that can ruin your day: your ignorance or underestimation of Allah, subhaana wa ta'ala and your sins (which includes any disobedience to Allah or doing things He dislikes).

What about if someone is unpleasant to you, with no wrongdoing or provocation on your part? Can't that ruin your day? Not if you know that Allah is Al-Hakeem (The All-Wise), As-Samee' (The All-Hearing), Al-Baseer (The All-Seeing), Al-Haseeb (The Reckoner), Al-Hakam (The Judge), and Al-Adl (The Just). In such a case, the one who harmed you has given you a gift; either they have given you some of their good deeds or taken some of your sins - a perfectly good deal. Sit calm and say alhamdul'Illah.

What about if you fall sick, are hurt, or suffer some difficult test? Can't that ruin your day? Not if you know that Allah is Al-Wudood (The Loving), Al Hafeedth (The Guardian), Al-Wakeel (The Disposer of Affairs), Al-Qabid (The Taker) and Al-Baasit (The Extender). In such a case, you know that Allah loves you and is reminding you to return to Him in repentance and prayer. He is expiating your sins, elevating your ranks in Jennah, and guiding you call on Him, alone, for help.

What about if your children behave as though they never learned manners, respect, or morals? Can't that ruin your day? Not if you know that Allah is As-Salaam (The Peace), Al-Qawiyy (The Strong), Al-Mateen (The Powerful), Al-Jabbaar (The Compeller), Al-Musawwir (The Shaper), Al-Mujeeb (The Answerer), Al-Haadi (The Director), Ar-Rasheed (The Guide). Throw your hands up in du'a and keep on doing what your doing to guide them to righteousness. Leave the rest to Allah's Perfect Plan.

What if you are feeling unappreciated? Can't that ruin your day? Not if you know that Allah is Ash-Shaakir (The Recognizer and Rewarder of good) and Ash-Shakoor (The Appreciative). and Al-Kaafi (The Sufficient). Why worry when the only One Who can recompense and reward is appreciating you?

But what about if you commit a major sin? Can't that ruin your day? Yes, it can, if you don't repent for it with sincerity and heartfelt regret. Even with a complete and true repentance it can cast a shadow on your day. However, for the true believer the answer is still no, because you know that Allah is At-Tawwaab (The Oft-Returning), Al-Afuww (The Pardoning), Al-Ghafoor (The Forgiving), Al-Ghaffaar (The All-Forgiving), and Ar-Raheem (The All-Merciful). He created us to err and turn to Him in repentance, thereby learning a lesson and not wanting to commit that sin again. Crying to Allah in sorrow, regret, and repentance is an excellent thing. It confirms that you have eemaan and taqwa - hardly something to ruin your day. More like something to give you hope and something to build on, maashaa Allah.

So, I say to you, if you have correct understanding of Allah, your Creator, and true taqwa and eemaan, then nothing and nobody can ruin your day - not ever.


Resources: The Explanation of The Beautiful and Perfect Names of Allah (subhaana wa ta'ala)  by Abdur-Rahman bin Nasir as-Sadi (raheemahUllaah)

Sorry, I'm not a Poet

Freedom

How I envy the prisoner
Living by rules
Forced to comply
No opportunity for the fallible mind
Or foolish thoughts to govern actions
Weaknesses troubleshot
Taken into account and included in The Plan.

How I pity the free man
Left to his own devices
His whims and desires fighting on the front line
Against practicality, morality, and reason.
Surrounded by rules to pick and choose as he likes
Weaknesses laid bare, open sores to fester and spread
Rotting from the outside in

We have been given free will
But it is the truly gifted of us
Who realize that to be free is to live in a prison
Within the golden bars of compliance
And to be safe is to be a prison
Locking submission firmly inside us.