Degrees of Deen

Bism Illah wa as salaamu alaikum.

What happens when you find that you and your spouse are in different places Islamically? Hey, everybody is in a different place, but I'm talking about things that cause difference of opinion about how to raise the children or conduct oneself in public. Well, it may be that one of the parties goes to the Imam with questions, and each time gets confirmation that their thinking on the subject is correct. The first time, the Imam says try to talk about it nicely but have patience because we all have to grow in Islam and we all do it at different speeds and times. The second time, the Imam says that if possible it is best to try to talk nicely about it and convince the spouse that the subject isn't as they see it. Once the Imam is informed that this will upset the spouse or cause discord, he says, "May Allah help you. Make dua' for Allah to help you."

So what can one derive from all this? That when there is a serious conflict in issues of deen, something where one cannot see the harm in something and the other can, the most powerful thing you can do is turn to Allah. Of course, we know that dua' is the ally of the believer. But in this case, when the believer who is striving for Allah's cause and has been given clear guidance makes dua' for a change for the good, there is no way that Allah can refuse. One way or another, He will address your pleas. Also, what should one make dua' for? Pray, pray, pray that Allah makes your partner love what He loves, hate what He hates, and increases them in emaan, taqwa, and ibadah. Pray that Allah gives them eyes to see the traps of shaytaan, to avoid the doubtful things. Pray, pray, pray that Allah will protect anyone and everyone that may fall victim in the situation. Pray, pray, pray for your children.

And a word of encouragement to anyone out there who can understand this whole subject. Don't ever feel sad that you have "eyes" and "ears" and a "heart" that Allah has blessed with sure and clear Guidance. It is hard, there is no question. You will feel alone much of the time and may be called "extreme" lol. But would you ever turn down such gifts from your Rabb? Never! Just pray that He blesses those near and dear to you with those "eyes", "ears", and "heart." When you get to a stage that life is a prison, that you see the fitnah clearly in everything and know that distractions from Allah are of no benefit, just keep praying for Allah to keep raising your awareness and drawing you closer. He may be sending you as an example, as a benefit to others. He may have put you with someone of different understanding to give them da'awah and move them to a better place. One thing is for sure, He has given you a gift...use it as He Wills, wisely and well and turn your whole self over to Him.