Bism Illah wa as salaamu alaykum wa Rahmat Allah wa Barakatuh.
Subhaan Allah, I am so happy with my new life I just have to say, "WHEE!" Since my time division began a couple of weeks ago, I have been enjoying that extra "me" time and more relaxation. With our school break upon us, Allah has opened up a new door for me that I'm calling, "The Socialization and Sisterhood Door." Having my free nights, means I can invite my friends over for the evening and have a really good time. Last night I invited a dear friend and her daughter to spend the evening. We had a little cooking class (bread dough) and made pizza and sweet rolls. We talked about things we never had time to touch on before. We were relaxed and unpressured...no men in the other sitting room asking for tea, dessert, or any of that. No problem if we laughed, shouted, or screamed. Pure, unadulterated, free, girly time!
Not only that, I was contacted by the most famous blogger in Madinah, mashaa'Allah, and today we female bloggers in Madinah are meeting for the first time at Masjid an Nabawi! I'm so excited that I have a batch of organic but super-fattening brownies in the oven right now to take to the event. Whee!
Friday my daughters and I are going for dinner at a friend's, who lives around the corner and next week I'm lining up a couple of other invitations for some girly gatherings, inshaa'Allah. I know this is just some maximization of fun during the school break, but it is so refreshing!
Even once we are back at school, I'll always have one night free each weekend to possibly do something fun.
During the week, I'll be able to focus on my studies without so much distraction from the mundane chores and attending to other people's needs.
When I think of hubby still in the "getting to know you" stage with so many cultural differences and communication barriers in his other home, I realize that I'm the one who has it easy. Some sisters have commented that being polygyny is like being a girlfriend instead of a wife. Well, that's not exactly true because you are supported and live like a wife. What it really does is make you look forward to your time together and make much better use of it. You plan your time, more like lovers do, rather than just take everything for granted. It brings a newness and freshness to the relationship, and a whole new appreciation. A little bit of absence does make the heart grow fonder...because those annoying things aren't under your nose all the time. It's amazing how easy it is to only show your good side when you aren't under the magnifying glass every single day.
I think we women get so caught up in our families that we often neglect time for ourselves, our own friendships, the bonds of sisterhood, and the connections with family and new friends that we want to make. When we include that aspect in our lives, we are much healthier, happier, and satisfied. We rediscover a part of ourselves that is critical for our well being. I know that Allah sent polygyny to me because He knows I will benefit from it, and that I needed those benefits in my life. I feel like I've been given a huge gift, wa al hamdu l'Illah! Believe me when I tell you that when you welcome whatever Allah sends to you, He rewards it with goodness and blessings, opening new doors that you might never have imagined.