Bism Illah wa as salaam alaykum wa Rahmat Allah wa Barakatuh.
Well, here we are about six weeks into the polygyny. How's it going, you ask? All's well, al hamdul'Illah. We have had three Family Friday's now, the second meeting we went to a restaurant for lunch which just wasn't a good atmosphere for getting acquainted. This past Friday we went to the park with a picnic. Hubby left us all to get set up and left for about 20 minutes to pick something up. That gave us some time to talk and, as it centered around the food, it was an easy conversation to have and quite comfortable. Certainly, once we started playing a game with our poof football, everyone was laughing and having fun.
I had set my mind to be very careful not to be overly familiar with hubby around Zainab, to show respect for her and not make her uncomfortable. I even made mental notes not to call him "habibi" or touch him when we are all together. However, Zainab was far more relaxed about it all, running for the ball and holding him around the waist to stabilize herself, even blowing him a kiss when we dropped her off at work. That has taken some pressure off me, as having more comfortable boundaries and less restrictions will make for a more natural relationship between us all.
The children are all benefiting from this set up. Our daughters have more one-on-one time with me, which is important now as they are developing their personalities and need more connections, more guidance, more course correction, and more love and nurturing. They spend more quality time with their father now, and I pray that continues - ameen. The step children are really enjoying the different atmosphere and lifestyle at Zainab's home, mashaa'Allah. It gives them a chance to express themselves differently as well, as they only speak in Arabic to Zainab and is a fresh ear for their interests and banter. My step-daughter is thrilled to have a step-mother and friend all of her own. This is, although temporary until Zainab has babies, a very important thing for her, as in our home she is always one of three girls and of four children with little personal attention - something she craves. Who's left? Hubby, of course...and he is very happy, wa al hamdul'Illah. Everyone has a piece of contentment and some needs filled with this situation, so it's really just a matter of us all striving to increase our knowledge and please Allah.
I am so happy with the arrangement that I don't want to ever go back to monogamy! I must say though that the pace is quick and I barely feel the benefits of my night off before it's my night again. I'm starting to think that a third wife would give me that extra time to really get well-rested well, LOL ;P