Wednesday, September 28, 2011

To the Hurt, the Heartbroken

Bism Illah wa as salaamu alaykum wa Rahmat Allah wa Barakatuh.

Sometimes it is very hard to see clearly when you are hurt or heartbroken by someone. To be honest, only Allah knows the complete situation from both sides and if their treatment or behaviour is wrong.However, when you are hurt, think about what will heal the hurt. Think about how things could be set right and what it would need from the person/people who hurt you. Then make dua...for them. 

Never forget that the dua' of the oppressed has no shield between the person and Allah. Ask Allah to guide  them to be better, closer to the manners and ways of the Prophet, salla Allahu alayhi wa salaam. Ask Allah to make clear to them what He Loves and what He Hates and guide them to all that He Loves. Ask Allah to show them the errors of their ways and correct them. Ask Allah to put love, for His Sake, between you and them. Ask Allah to increase their taqwa and emaan and make them an excellent servant of Allah. Seek protection from the fitna of them and the situation for yourself and your family. Then pray for all of those things for yourself as well and for anyone else involved. If everyone pleases Allah, then hearts will heal and success will follow.

This isn't Islam at a basic level, this is Islam at its finest. This is praying for the one(s) who hurt you to become among Allah's best and most beloved servants. Of course, it is up to Allah to guide them or not, but you get even greater than what you wish for others and if they are guided they will see the truth of their behavior and mend the relationship with you, inshaa'Allah.

If you wonder whether I have done this, I can say that I most certainly have and continue to do it, even when my heart is virtually in pieces from the behavior towards me. Al hamdul'Illah, it has never caused me loss. I have faced, and do face, many deep hurts and heartbreaks from people, but I know that the only way to make things better and heal my own heart is for them to get better. May Allah help and guide us all - ameen.


  1. AMEEN! btw the font is black so I couldn't see, I had to highlight the text so I could see it.

  2. LOL! Jazaaki Allahu khayran Tutster! That's mystery post! Okay, all sorted out now, mashaa'Allah.

  3. Assalamu Aleykum dear sister Mai,

    MashALLAH, this really helped, in an unexpected way, but it did help Alhamdulillah.

    JazakALLAH Khair for this post, you really made me think about the whole situation i'm going through in a positive way, which I had hard times doing.

    Lot of love.

  4. as salaamu Aalaykum, didn't have time until right now, I was typing in AMEEN and it required a word verification and it was "LYING" lol. Anyway I came back to edit it to let you know and totally forgot, here is the screen shot.

  5. Assalamualaikum sister, I know exactly how this feeling is, as I am going through it too. Funny sometimes a person can say contradicting thing in a split second and make us confused as to which is the right thing that he Allah is my refuge and my ONLY problem solver.

  6. Mai,
    Your words are very comforting to me. I am struggling each day with hurt that I feel. I feel as though you somehow were directing those words to me. I have not converted to Islam but your love of your religion comes through very strongly in your posts and I truly admire that. Your passion and love makes me yearn to want to learn more about Islam. Thank you for this post. I really needed to read it today....everyday.

  7. Wa alaykum as salaam wa Rahmat Allah wa Barakatuh my dear Um Zakarya.

    Subhaan Allah, I didn't even know about your situation when I wrote this post. As always, there are no coincidences. Allah, subhaana wa taala, sent it to you when you needed it. I pray it continues to help and that you see a beautiful result from it in your life very soon - ameen.

    Much love to you.

  8. Wa alaykum as salaam wa Rahmat Allah wa Barakatuh my dear sister Black Jubbah.

    Yes, human behavior can be the most confusing and hurtful, Qadr Allah. The silver lining in the black cloud of pain is that we do the best thing for us, we turn to Allah and realize how much we need Him. Al hamdul'Illah that you have gone to the ONLY One Who can put things right.

  9. Anissa, welcome back.

    I can hardly imagine how difficult and foreign your whole situation must seem. That your Creator guided you to read this post, is no coincidence. There are no coincidences. I pray it will continue to help you and that you find the Perfect and Unfailing Love of Allah a source of eternal peace and happiness.

    This is part of your life's Plan. Trust in the perfection of the plan and use it to improve, learn, and grow.

  10. Assalamu alaikum sister
    Subhanallah... It's like this post was meant for me because of my current situation. Jazakillah khair.

    sister uk

  11. Jazakillah khair sis, may Allah grant us the tawfeeq to practise the truth and the most upright of character.

  12. asalaamu-alaikum, I have been away from the bloggng world for quite some time. Too much going on to deal with it. But this is so true. My heart is broken, shattered in pieces and all you can do is make dua.It helps. I pray your heart can be mended and those who have hurt you can rectify the situations. <3

  13. Wa alaykum as salaam wa Rahmat Allah wa Barakatuh to Sister UK and Islamic Solace.

    Wa iyaaki and ameen to your dua', thumma ameen!

  14. Wa alaykum as salaam wa Rahmat Allah wa Barakatuh Jaiyana.

    I checked in on you a couple of days ago, and read the July post for the first time. Regardless of the relief to be free from the fitna of a situation, I'm sure it must hurt to close the book on such a large part of your life. My dua' are with you and I pray everything and more than what you have asked for me. Bi ithn Illah, your heart will heal and you will be a better and stronger Muslimah than ever - ameen.

  15. If you have a broken heart, give all the pieces to ALLAH, and INSHALLAH he will fix it for you!!! Have patience, faith and hope always xxxxxx

  16. asalaamu alaikum wa rahmatullah!

    Alhamdulillah I have read almost all your blog since yesterday mashaAllah! I really have found benefit in your words and thoughts Alhamdulillah.

    I would like to ask, in the case of a husband who continually commits adultery, what advise would you give?

    JazakAllahu khayr ukhtee

    1. Wa alaykum ussalaam wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh ukhtee f'Illah.

      My advice really never changes; obey Allah, fulfill all the obligations that He has placed upon you (within your ability), and seek help from Allah subhaana wa ta'ala. Make dua' for your husband, and never stop that. Seek Allah's clear guidance in the matter, beg for resolution, and beg for patience until that resolution comes...for most surely resolution comes for the believers in one way or another.

      Islam prescribes arbitration in such matters when things cannot be resolved between a couple themselves. However, I personally understand that even if that is necessary, it must come through Allah. It is a serious matter, especially considering the hadd for such a sin, but still none can guide except Allah and none can help except Allah. We are told to recite, "Iyyaaka na'abudu wa iyyaaka nasta'een" at least 17 times a day for good reason. Remember that when you are seeking Allah's Help, you must look for His Signs and know that there are no coincidences, everything is clearly and purposefully mapped out with precision by Him.

      My dua' are with you, sister.

    2. JazakAllahu Khayr ukhtee,

      Your time in answering so quickly is much appreciated and your advise eases my burden alhamdulillah.

      May Allah give you and your family the best in this life and the Akhira.

      Asalaamu alaikum

  17. Dear Author,

    Assalam alaikum wa rahmatullah,

    I have been directed here by my wife as we have discussed the topic of polygyny and Alhamdulillah it has been beneficial and eye opening and I believe beneficial for my wife too.

    Is your husband blog still available as I would very much like to hear his side and advice for the situation and what to prepare myself for.

    I have noticed you haven't mentioned the subject for a period of time. please can you give an update?