Bism Illah wa as salaamu alaykum wa Rahmat Allah wa Barakatuh.
How do you estimate the value of something?
Subhaan Allah, those of you who know me, know that I tend to come up with analogies for things. For the various things I guard and warn against, I often find new and different angles from which to approach them. Just recently I was faced with someone who was comparing people's worth in terms of their physical attributes. Girls here are fed the exact same stereotypical "princess" concept as in the West. So many children (and adults, sadly) think that the stereo-typical Disney princess characters are the ideal. Even here in Madinah, many girls show off their princess pictures, notebooks, stickers, and bags. Fortunately ours, and those children of our good friends, do not get such items, but there is still the underlying ideal planted in their minds.
Having pretty dresses, nice hair, slimmer figures, and beautiful faces are the benchmarks for being "better." Yes, I know I've written about such things before on the post, When We Stand Before Allah, but from the aspect of pride (kibr) and arrogance. However, the aspect I'm addressing is how we value such things. Looking at such things as valuable, or being something that has great weight or worth, is dealing in dunya dollars. When they are presented in front of Allah as proof of achievement and good in this life, those dollars won't be worth the paper they are printed on.
However, when we look with admiration at those who have beautiful manners (akhlaaq), are modest in all situations (hayaa), take care of their speech and actions (taqwa), recite the Qur'an correctly and implement it, learn and teach Islam as practiced by the Salaf, and truly worship Allah in all situations, then we can see that they are dealing in a completely different currency. They are holding Islamic ingots that are worth their weight in gold when presented to Allah. Rather than the dunya dollars, which will burn into ashes, they will be dealing in a currency that reaps Allah's rewards, which last for all eternity.
If anyone innovative and creative would like to take these three concepts and make up a family game or reward system, you have my wholehearted support. However, if you do, please let us know so others may know and benefit from it. We need to teach our children (and remind ourselves) that accruing dunya dollars might get us to the finish line, but the Islamic ingots will make us the real winners of Allah's rewards.
Assalamu'alaikum,
ReplyDeleteDearest May, I hope you and family are well.
I am in the process of thinking up 5 practical things my chuldrean and some others i teach can make into a life book and use these rules to make there quality of life better as muslims.
So far I have thought of
follwing up every bad deed with a good one,
would love your input if you have any ideas
sincerely,
Umm M, (UK)
Wa alaykum as salaam wa Rahmat Allah wa Barakatuh Umm Maymoonah.
ReplyDeleteMay Allah reward you for your efforts to teach your children well. I think there are key things that we all need to consider that would be excellent habits to start with your children.
As for your first idea of following up every bad deed with a good one, you could have them do their own little Daily Account, where they assess the good and the bad in their day and how it weighs up. This helps them realize both their strengths and weaknesses and teaches them to self-regulate. It could be using the concept I mentioned above, which is very child friendly inshaa'Allah.
Secondly, a list of things they would particularly like to do to gain special rewards from Allah, that they can check off daily to ensure they do at least one of them. These could be anything from Sunnah rakaat, morning and evening adhkaar, reciting Surah Al Iklaas 10 times each day, or similar. This gets them into lifelong habits, inshaa'Allah, that will weigh on their account.
Thirdly, learn one new thing relating to Islam each day. This might be as simple as reading a hadith or one ayah or Qur'an. Perhaps even simpler, learning the meaning of on Arabic word in the Qur'an or an aspect of the Sunnah.
Fourthly, practice the 1,2,3 rule of not speaking until they count to 3. The guidelines for this are in my post for Sisters who Struggle to Hold their Tongues.
Fifthly, take a few moments to think about whether they worshiped Allah all day or not, and how they can improve that. Ask themselves the question that is key to their success, "Will this help me get to Jennah? Am I pleasing Allah?"
These are just suggestions, but perhaps it will trigger off even more ideas for you. Please share them with us; we all need beneficial ideas and support!
Jazaaki Allahu khayr wa barak Allahu feeki sister.