Friday, December 31, 2010

When we stand before Allah...

Bism Illah wa as salaamu alaykum wa Rahmat Allah wa Barakatuh.

What is it that makes some people think themselves better than others? What is it that makes the younger or more physically attractive people think they are more beautiful or appealing? What is it that makes the sister all in black in a head abaya with gloves and niqaab or the brother with the thobe up to his shins and beard down to his chest think they are more pious than others who dress differently? Why does the one who gets perfect scores on her Arabic tests or Memorization and Recitation classes feel better than those who struggle? Kibr. Prideful arrogance.

Sometimes, if I know that a person isn't obeying Allah, I feel that I am being more obedient and am earning Allah's pleasure while they are not. Sometimes I speculate that I am thinner, look younger, have more knowledge in certain areas, or more discipline about certain things. These are facts, and as long as I acknowledge them as just facts without thinking I'm better, then inshaa'Allah they will not ruin me.

An outlook that is very helpful when I want to avoid the "I'm better in that" syndrome, is to always look at others and think how much better they are in other things. I admire their way of conducting themselves, their patience and beautiful approach to their children and husband, their memorization of Quran, their knowledge of Islam, and their beautiful attributes. I think of my inferiority rather than my superiority. There is always the knowledge that others have qualities that I don't and, most surely, some of those qualities are more loved by Allah.

Our beloved Prophet, salla Alalhu alayhi wa sallam, married  Sawdah (radhi Allahu anhaa) after the death of Khadijah. We know he was suffering great grief over Khadijah's death. "According to a report by a Companion, she was very dark in complexion, slow and fat. In spite of her being slow and fat, she was amiable and humorous, dispelling the Prophet's worries with her light joking, which was an essential and effective timely remedy." (quote from the book Women around the Messenger

When we see people who are very disobedient to Allah, or appear to have weak knowledge and implementation of their Islam, we may think they are in a sad state. However, shaytaan is always whispering and we often don't know the reality of them and their journey through life. What we think, may not be the true case. Never forget the story of Musa (alayhi salaam) and Khidr in Surat al Kahf. Khidr did things that Musa deemed heinous crimes, but they were actually commands from Allah and were righteous acts.

Most Muslims have been through different processes, including many mistakes and different developmental stages. Who is to say that the person who isn't praying today, won't be the one who wakes up and sniffs the Quran tomorrow and becomes the most pious of us? Who is to say that the person who wears a jilbab and shayla/hijab won't have a stellar account with Allah because she never hurt another human being by hand or tongue? Who is to say that the out-of-shape sister or brother, whose face shows all the signs of their hard life, isn't one of Al-Muqarrabeen (those nearest to Allah in the Aakihrah) because they have always put others before themselves?

When we stand before Allah, it is our hearts and our deeds that will count, not whether we were the best looking, wore the most pious clothes, had great intelligence, had the most Islamic information, or memorized the most Quran. There is no benefit in a fit body, beautiful face, immaculate presentation, or extensive knowledge unless they are TOTALLY for the sake of Allah and seeking His Pleasure. May Allah protect us from all forms of kibr (pride and arrogance), riyaa (showing off), and  guide us to His Pleasure in our every action - ameen.


  1. Uh oh! What happened? Did I do something wrong or did I write something to upset you? Pingy my darling, what's wrong?

  2. Mashallah!!! I am moved by each and every word you write... I find strength in reading your blogs. You put love in my heart for ALLAH(swt) and Islam that I didnt think my young converted soul could have. MASHALLAH!! I too am moved to tear the same as UmmUmar. I pray one day to have the deen you have Sister... May ALLAH grant you the highest paradise for your words and the effect you have on us!!! You make me want to be a better person!! I think, aside from pleasing ALLAH(swt), that your "calling" in life is to teach....Your blog is teaching me every day and your kind words to others span oceans and touches us to our core.
    I know, through all the bad and decieving people in the world, you are good.

    Love you for the sake off ALLAH!!!!!

  3. My little sister, First Wife, you made me cry.

    (I'm also very grateful that you clarified for me that Umm Umar's face was one of crying, not misery.)

    I cannot tell you how desperately I want to bring others to the depth of love I have for Allah, subhaan wa taala, and this perfect deen. It is so hard to see others go through things and not be able to simply give them a chunk of my heart and mind to make everything better and easier. Inshaa'Allah, through this blog, that's what I try to do.

    What you said, about wanting to be a better person, is going to be the subject of a post soon inshaa'Allah. That particular point, is what I love most about Islam.

    I know that you are good, too...because sincere souls and white hearts recognize each other, sight unseen.

    May the One for Whom you love me, love you even more - ameen. BIG HUGS for you!

  4. Masha Allah. I am addicted to reading your blog. Your words are such a great reminder. And I tell myself, how did she get there? What path did she take to get to this destination of love for the sake of Allah. How did she divorce this dunya? And see this world for what it is. When I was in Polygyny, it brought out the worst in me. So how did you get to this level? Masha Allah!!!! May Allah increase your status!!

  5. يا اختي حبيبه My dear dear Mai... it's just that once again, you are right!! I mean, who are we? ..but just "dust in the wind"? .."just a drop of water in an endless sea"!!

    Yah Allah!! and then I come here, sit and have some 'tea' with you.. and you always have the right words to say... Yah Rabb!!!... Please give yourself a big hug from me...

  6. Ummsalwa, as salaamu alaykum ukhti.

    Jazaaki Allahu khayran for your comment and your dua'. Ameen wa iyaaki!

    Sister, over the 22+ years I've been Muslim, I have been through so much that I cannot begin to document it. A million and one hurts, shocks, disappointments, tests, trials, and punishments. The only thing I can say is that I learned from it all and I grew, alhamdul'Illah. Then I finally got married and it held a succession of huge tests and trials. Our first venture into polygyny was a major blow to our family and filled with fitnah. It was a huge blessing for me though, as I truly learned what I was made of, what I wanted, and what I would sacrifice to get there. Everything that has come my way has made me stronger, mashaa'Allah wa al hamdul'Illah.

    I will try to post about it, to explain at least some of my journey and how I got to this place. I'm still struggling along with the rest of you, but being hurt and disappointed by human beings made me realize that the only safe place to be was with Allah - just Him and I. Everything else is just scenery along the way.

    May Allah, azza wa jaal, be pleased with us all and make us all amongst the Muqarraboon - ameen!

  7. :'( Made me cry. You must be so beautiful.