Bism Illah wa as salaamu alaykum wa Rahmat Allah wa Barakatuh.
I was reading a post about the Day of Judgment today and I was reminded of something that has been lurking in the back of my mind for some time. The signs of the Day of Judgment include some truly horrific things. Aside from the coming of the Dajjaal, one of the things that disturbs me the most is that we are told that the Kaaba will be demolished and the Qur'an will be removed from the hearts and also the Masaahif (printed copies of the Qur'an). No Qibla and no Book of Guidance. Audhu B'Illahi!
I cannot tell you how much I have begged Allah to increase me in knowledge and open up the Quran to me and fill my heart with it. Over this past two months, Allah - azza wa jaal - has answered my dua' mashaa'Allah. Now I'm moving through my Qur'an memorization with understanding, wa al hamdul'Illahi Rabb il aal ameen! Recitation with understanding has opened up something totally amazing in me. I cannot contain my smile when I read of Allah's Mercy and Rewards, my fear of His punishment. Mashaa'Allah, I am totally in love with the words and the message Allah has sent down to us!
So, to have this finally open up, to be given that gift and to think that I could wake up one morning and have nothing, not a single remembrance of it, is like torture. I don't wish to ever live to that day. I pray that I die with the Qur'an in my heart and on my lips...that I die with a smile on my face from the promise and perfection of those indescribable words. I don't want my children to face that either...or their children, or their children. It is enough to make one wish for an early death, for surely it is a test beyond imagination and a horrific prospect for future generations. May we all die upon tawheed and may Allah protect all His faithful servants on that dreaded day - ameen.