(This is dedicated to Umm Tareq, with great love - fee sabeel Allah.)
I used to find it amusing to hear that people went to therapists, mainly because it was almost a fashionable epidemic. Just about everyone had a therapist, whether a psychoanalyst, a psychiatrist, a focus group, or a special social worker/mentor. So many problems, so many experts. So, I thought to myself, "Mai, you've got things bothering you. Why don't you get yourself a therapist?" That's when he subcutaneous part of my psyche spoke up and said, "You have a therapist; always had one, always will." Well, my psyche surely spoke the truth.
All day long, whatever is going on, I have a running commentary going on with my therapist. I have divulged my innermost thoughts, fears, struggles, and problems to Him. I don't even have to say the words out loud, although I sometimes do, because He hears me anyway. He Knows. I never feel like there is a huge stress sitting inside me ready to explode because I have nobody to talk to. I have the perfect therapist to talk to. He gives me perfect solutions, perfect guidance, and perfect soothing comfort. My Creator, my Sustainer, my Nurturer, my Developer, my Guide, my Solace, and my Perfect Love - Allah, subhaana wa taala - my 24/7 therapist.
Allah says: “Call upon Me. I will answer you.” [Sûrah Ghâfir: 60]
Oh my dearest uktee fillah!
ReplyDeleteHow sweet of you, my tears are flowing again SubhanAllah. The tear drops from my right eye first I just started to notice, SubhanAllah, isn't that "shayan ajeeb"? I was just out in the snow in London, UK. Its so beautiful and reminded me of being cleansed by snow, white as a thobe....its a du'aa isn't it? These days are full of realisations for me. I wait to go back to Algeria where I made hijrah, but was returned here, seperated from my kids...but Alhamdulilah I have a new focus. Stick to learning Qu'ran and arabic inshaAllah, and stop myself stressing about problems of the dunya and what people think. Any naseeha greatly appreciated. I want to wear niqaab too, but worry about plane travel and what my non muslim mother will make of it. Umm Tareq Al Irlandeea
My dear Umm Tareq,
ReplyDeleteYes, the dua' before commencing the prayer is, O Allah, cleanse me from my sins as a white garment is cleansed from impurity, keep me away from my sins as the East is kept from the West, wash my sins from me with water and snow and hail. I say it before every prayer, mashaa'Allah.
As for your situation, you are exactly where Allah means for you to be. Focus on Him and, as you say, your Quran and Arabic. Bi ithn Illah, all the rest will work itself out for the best. Simply be happy with Allah's decree, however strange or trying it may be. Your happiness and acceptance will, inshaa'Allah, open the doors to your growth and learning. Once you get to what Allah wants you to learn from all this, it will all change.
Oddly, I had a period of time when I was out of work during the Gulf War and, while others were worrying about scud missiles, etc., I took that opportunity to read Sahih al Bukhari and establish many sunnah and nawafil things in my life. It was a huge blessing to have that time, uninterrupted, to establish a correct and solid foundation. Perhaps this is your time. Make the most of it.
As for niqaab, Allah will make it evident to you when the time is right.
Trust in Allah - that's the key.
Yet again, my dear Mai... very 'timely' words of wisdom. I've experienced recently that if we only 'ponder in silence' over our thoughts and 'wait a while'... responses for our many questions become manifest... Isn't that the way Allah(swt) presents Himself and answers our every thought and our every worry?!! SubhanaAllah!! How many times (in this past week) I would have liked to grab the phone and reach out to someone... or have the keyboard close by to let my fingers do the 'talking'.. yet, by circumstance I waited... and SubhanaAllah, without saying a word or moving a muscle... truth comes, answers come... all between the intimacy of the mind which we only share with, like you said, Our Creator!!! Thanks tons!!! :D
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