Every action has an intention. Just read the first hadith of An-Nawawi's 40 Hadith and ponder for a minute it's meaning.
On the authority of Ameer ul-Mu'mineen (the Commander of the Faithful), Abu Hafs 'Umar ibn al-Khattaab radhi Allahu anhu, who said: I heard the Messenger of Allah sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam say:
Actions are but by intentions and every man shall have only that which he intended.
Thus he whose migration (Hijrah to Madeenah from Makkah) was for Allaah and His Messenger, his miration was for Allah and His Messenger, and he whose migration was to achieve some worldly benefit or to take some woman in marriage, his migration was for that for which he migrated.
عَنْ أَمِيرِ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ أَبِي حَفْصٍ عُمَرَ بْنِ الْخَطَّابِ رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهُ قَالَ: سَمِعْت رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم يَقُولُ: ” إنَّمَا الْأَعْمَالُ بِالنِّيَّاتِ، وَإِنَّمَا لِكُلِّ امْرِئٍ مَا نَوَى، فَمَنْ كَانَتْ هِجْرَتُهُ إلَى اللَّهِ وَرَسُولِهِ فَهِجْرَتُهُ إلَى اللَّهِ وَرَسُولِهِ، وَمَنْ كَانَتْ هِجْرَتُهُ لِدُنْيَا يُصِيبُهَا أَوْ امْرَأَةٍ يَنْكِحُهَا فَهِجْرَتُهُ إلَى مَا هَاجَرَ إلَيْهِ“.It is easy to say, "I don't know," or, "Because I wanted to," or even, "Someone else made me do it," when being asked why you did something, However, not one of these answers is the truth or the whole truth.
رَوَاهُ إِمَامَا الْمُحَدِّثِينَ أَبُو عَبْدِ اللهِ مُحَمَّدُ بنُ إِسْمَاعِيل بن إِبْرَاهِيم بن الْمُغِيرَة بن بَرْدِزبَه الْبُخَارِيُّ الْجُعْفِيُّ ، وَأَبُو الْحُسَيْنِ مُسْلِمٌ بنُ الْحَجَّاج بن مُسْلِم الْقُشَيْرِيُّ النَّيْسَابُورِيُّ رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهُمَا فِي صَحِيحَيْهِمَا اللذَين هُمَا أَصَحُّ الْكُتُبِ الْمُصَنَّفَةِ.
When words come out of your mouth, contemplate why you say them. Try it for at least a day and see if your words were all helpful, beneficial, guiding to the good, and loving the good for those being spoken to. Consider if those words are sitting on your right hand side, recorded in Illiyyeen. Did you really say them with a clean heart and intentions? Or did you say them with the underlying desire to hurt, insult, put down, make fun of, condescend to, cajole, or manipulate?
So much is said and done without thought, but not without thought about why we did it, but more about what the result is of us doing it. What reward will we get for it - good or bad? It is easy, when being examined by others, to come up with an altruistic reason for our actions and speech. However, it is the truth within us that we will answer for - the truth behind the reason for our actions and speech, not what we say in retrospect or try to convince ourselves or others of.
We, as human beings, will always have to fight our nafs and the incessant whispers of shaytaan feeding our base thoughts and desires. The only way we can truly address and correct ourselves for the good is if we are honest with ourselves about those negative and evil feelings that drive us to do or say bad or negative things.It is in being real with ourselves that we can pinpoint the things we need to rectify in our hearts and humble ourselves before our Creator. It is in being real with ourselves that we can cry in desperation to Allah for His Forgiveness and Help. It is in being real with ourselves that we stand a chance of true success in this life and the next, bi idhn Illah ta'ala.