Bingo!

 Assalamu alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. 

Well, I did it. I read some of my own blog, LOL. And, of course, the clear things that stood out from just a couple of posts were these.

In Mai in June one of my thoughts was:

"How can we hold other people accountable for not making us a priority in their lives, when we don't make Allah a priority in ours?"

Exactly what I came to when I just started doing the things that please Allah and make me happy. Doing things fee sabeel Illah and taking care of myself as Allah has commanded me to. Focusing on what concerns me and benefits my dunya and aakhirah instead of wasting time on things that just distract me from what is better. Doing, instead of letting shaytaan poke into my thoughts planting seeds of negativity and helping me procrastinate. 

Then I read one of the most important other things to refocus myself. It was in a response to a sister in a particular situation, so I edited it to make it more generally relevant.

"Your life revolves around others. This is a key issue with many women after years of marriage. They rely on their husband/family for most things...and primarily for their happiness. This is one of the reasons I believe Allah sends tests to some of His faithful servants. Because your life is supposed to revolve around ALLAH. Allah should be in your thoughts 24/7, not your husband or your children. They will be in your thoughts through your thoughts of Allah - your duties to them, taking care of them, fulfilling their Allah-appointed rights, giving sadaqah through them and to them, loving them for the sake of Allah. That's how all your day becomes ibaadah. That's what changes your attitude. 

So how does Allah pull you to Him and correct faith? When you find that your family is busy with their own lives and interests and shaytaan starts to work overtime on your thoughts, you turning to Allah to seek refuge. When you feel hurt by your husband or children, you are reminded that Allah doesn't hurt you. When you feel alone because nobody is engaging with you, you are reminded that Allah is always with you. When you feel like their idea of love and its expression is different from your own, you are reminded that Allah's love never wavers and is always more than you could ever dream of. All of it increases your love of Allah, with complete trust and reliance on Him Alone. You seek Him out as perfection of all your needs...and in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find comfort and healing."

Step 3 in the 8 Steps to Happiness is shukr and dhikr. Thanks, and remembrance - alhamdul'Illahi Rabb il aal ameen! Step 4 is ridding yourself of sadness and misery and focusing on happiness. In a nutshell, the past is over with so if you haven't repented then do so and let it go. The future is in the Hands of The One Who loves you perfectly, so nothing to worry about there. It's all about the present and making sure the steps you take are towards Him and your successful aakhirah!

Subhaanak Allahumma wa bihamdik, laa ilaaha illa Allah, astighfiruka wa atoobu ilayk.