Choosing a Spouse - #1 on my NEVER EVER List

 Assalaamu alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh

This is a rule for sisters, which means it's very important for brothers to think about. 

Never marry someone whose level of Islam is lower than yours. If their understanding and knowledge is equal to or better than yours then you will have the respect for them and the confidence to obey them and trust them to, bi idhn Illah ta'ala, lead you and your family in righteousness. 

When I say their understanding and knowledge, I mean that not only should they have sound aqeedah, fiqh, and a good grasp of the teachings of the Quraan and ahadith, but that you should clearly see that reflected in their appearance, behavior, and manners. There should be a history of seeking knowledge that is ongoing. There should be clear prioritization of  Quraan - memorization, tafseer, implementation - as it is the user manual for mankind. Don't accept wishy washy answers, you want clear evidence that they are pursuing 'ilm (beneficial Islamic knowledge) and that it is a lifelong commitment. 

The consequences of accepting a husband with lesser knowledge than you will result in you not being able to trust them to make decisions and establish things in your lives that are correct or pleasing to Allah. He may not care about you wearing correct hijab, mixing of men and women, lowering the gaze, watching movies, prioritizing Islamic education over secular, etc. Simply put, his priorities will not align with Islamic teachings. If the gap in understanding and/or practice is notable, you could be accepting someone who will lead you straight to jahannam! May Allah, subhaanahu wa ta'ala, protect all His sincere believers from such a fate - ameen!

Believe me, you do not want a husband who is relaxed in their deen. You do not want a husband who will let sins slide for the sake of worldly gain, pleasures, or entertainment. You do not want a husband who is weak, undisciplined, struggling with self control and will power. 

Of course, he will have shortcomings, make mistakes, and have failings but his foundation must be firm, strong, and established in order to save himself and his family from the fire. That is a man you will respect and love, in shaa Allah.

Subhaanak, Allahumma wa bihamdik, laa ilaaha ilaa Ant, astaghfiruka wa atoobu ilayk.