What Gives Me Joy

Bism Illah wa as salaamu alaykum wa Rahmat Allah.

There is a dua' I have been making for years now. It goes something like this. "Oh Allah, please let me be of benefit to those around me and put me wherever I can benefit others."

I seek Allah's Guidance on how to benefit others and on the best ways to benefit them. After all, what is the point of being in someone's life or crossing paths with another human being if there is no benefit or reminder to the good?

I have found that in trying to draw others closer to the good and truth, they have often taken off running with the concept and ended up teaching me something new in their zealous quest for knowledge.

Every now and then I consider whether I am omitting something big by not spending more time on myself. But what Allah has shown me, time and again, is that if I keep on thinking and doing for others, He will provide me what I need for my growth from whatever sources He Wills. The very people who claim I have benefited them, come back to me and open my mind to new knowledge and insights. I go online and in front of my eyes is something so relevant to a person or situation that I am dumbfounded at Allah's Perfect Plan. So, I'll keep on trucking with whatever I can do for those around me...and trust in Allah to take care of my development and growth as He Wills.

I pray that in some way, shape, or form I benefit one of you...if not by what I write then by my dua' that we all earn Allah's pleasure and sit together on those jeweled couches in Jennah al-Firdous - ameen.

On the occasion of Eid Al-Adha, 10 Dhul Hijjah 1430 AH, I say to you all, "Taqqabbal Allah minna wa minkum!"

Where does our confidence come from?

Bism Allah wa as salaamu alaykum.

Something in human nature causes us to turn to others for reassurance and confidence building. We seek approval for our clothes, hairstyles, weight, body shape and fitness, home decor, choice of car, etc. We want others to find us attractive, to think we are good, nice, funny, kind, generous...the list can go on and on. We want our spouses to "want" us, to be pleased with us and to show pleasure in us.

Hmmmm.

So what happens if the world around us doesn't give us what we want? What happens if we don't get others' approval for our bodies, material choices, or personalities? We find ourselves depressed, miserable, feeling unwanted, without confidence. We let other people, other imperfect human beings, affect how we view ourselves. We let other people's opinions determine whether we are satisfied or not with ourselves.

Subhaan Allah! Who is the One to Judge us? Who is the One who created us as we are? Who is the One we need to please? Other people's opinions, praise, or criticism will not earn Allah's Pleasure. Other people's opinions will not add weight to our scale of good deeds. Confidence lies in one thing. This is an importance sentence so please, take it very slowly and seriously.

Confidence lies in knowing you are submitting to Allah's Will and striving to obey His Command in every aspect of your life.

Confidence lies in knowing you are taking care of yourself and dressing yourself as Allah has decreed and as the Prophet Muhammad, salla Allahu alayhi wa sallam has modeled for us in his Sunnah. Confidence comes from knowing that on any given day you are up to date with your prayers, your fasting, your zakat, are striving in some way to perform Hajj, and are basing your life on tawheed - belief in the Oneness and Perfection of Allah.

Will you continue to worry about others, when if you follow the Quran and the Sunnah you will be doing all that is praiseworthy and best? Will you continue to worry if you know that your Creator is pleased with you?

Who'd of Thunk It?

BismIllah wa as salaamu alaykum!

Well, here it is. My first post since moving to Madinah al Munawarrah. Subhaan Allah! Words have truly escaped me these last weeks. We have been here since October 19th 2009 and so much has happened in this past month that I don't know where to begin. So I won't, LOL.

What I will say is that I never planned to work and here I am teaching English in Al Fusha School for Girls. I get to go to school with all three of my girls every day. I get to be there for them in a new environment, to support them and encourage them to make friends with children who don't speak their language, and I am surrounded by classical Arabic - the language of the Quran. I have colleagues who speak to me in fus-Ha and yet want to learn English. We all stroll into the gates of the school and remove our niqaabs, abayas, and hijaabs and walk around freely all day enjoying fresh air and sunshine from the shaded courtyard. A world of our own - comfortable and protected. A Girl's Club.

Already, as I walk around without nudity or obscenity in my surroundings, I dread returning to anywhere in the West. If I rarely hear singing, it is nasheed. For every unattractive aspect or backward thing I encounter here, there are countless positives to outweigh them. All thanks and praise is for Allah, The Perfect One. He has shown us, in every way and at every station, that His Plan for us has been Perfectly Orchestrated. We are greatly blessed.

Houses Built of Straw, Sticks, and Bricks

BismIllah wa as salaamu alaykum.

Late last night I could not sleep. My mind was filled with different ideas and issues. Then, in thinking of marriages in Islam I was reminded of The Three Little Pigs. Ironic, I know. Pigs are hardly our animal of the week. However, it was their choice of houses that was in my mind.

When we build relationships and structure our lives around someone who is away from Islam, we are living in a house made of straw. We surround ourselves with something that has no weight with Allah, no substance. The person doesn't gain the rewards for their actions because they aren't done for the sake of Allah, subhaana wa taala. Hence, their house has no permanence and is easily blown away by shaytaan, the big, bad wolf.

When we build relationships and structure our lives around someone who is a hypocrite, we are living in a house made of sticks. It has some substance, but the hypocrisy makes it intrisically weak. They know the truth, but they do not practice it and so their house has the strength of the truth but is still blown away by the big, bad wolf.

However, when we build relationships and structure our lives around someone who puts Islam first and bases their whole life and dealings around Allah's Guidance and the example of the Prophet Muhammad, salla Allahu alayhi wa sallam, they are living in a house made of strong bricks. The house has substance and weight with Allah. They are a support to each other and have the security and protection of their Creator. They are metaphorical bricks in the wall for each other. They have the defense against the big, bad wolf.

So many of us, at some stage of our life, built our houses out of straw or sticks. But their easy destruction guides us to appreciate all the beauty and security that a house made of bricks offers. May Allah, subhaana wa taala, guide us all to houses made of bricks in this life and beautiful palaces in Jennah al Firdous - ameen.

Arguments - The Weakness, The Struggle, The Light

BismIllah wa as salaamu alaykum.

SNAP! What does it? What is the thing that finally makes us snap? Which button is the one that, when pushed, sends us over the edge?

Ideally, Islamically, none.

Ideally, Islamically, we would say, "Audhu b'Illahi min as shaytaan irrajeem!" and keep our cool.

However, as humans, the ideal in Islam is something to strive for but not something we can fully attain. It is the striving that is important and the desperate disappointment in always falling short that makes us cry to Allah seeking forgiveness.

Bearing with patience, sabr, oh how hard it is when resources are low and the button is pushed. Oh how miserable to lose control and feel helplessly in the grips of shaytaan.

Remember the dua' "Oh Allah! Set not in authority over me one who is unjust!" After all this, shaytaan whispers to seek vengeance, to ask for justice and open signs. But Allah, subhaana wa taala, remains ever present and the depth of our faith wins the fight. We come to our senses and pray for the good, drawing to Islam. As we turn to Allah, we emerge stronger in deen, increased in taqwa.

Too deep? Saying, "Huh?" What I'm saying is that whenever we have an argument and we overcome the urges for vengeance and soften our hearts to seek the good for all involved, we increase our faith and taqwa. Anytime we lose control, allow shaytaan to infiltrate the goodness, and then fight back with true faith and a sincere heart, Allah Gifts us with a better level of deen.

Alhamdul'Illahi Rabb il al ameen!

Nothing Flourishes Without Maintenance

BismIllah wa as salaamu alaykum.

There are so many in our world that take whatever they can get from a thing and then just write it off and discard it. How will a house appreciate in value if it is never maintained? How will a car keep functioning well if it is never serviced? Likewise, how will our hearts draw closer to Allah without constant nurturing?

I want to increase in value in the Eyes of my Rabb every day, bi ithn Allah taala. I want to function well until the day I die, insha'Allah. All my life, I have taken care of my possessions, kept safe my gifts. Islam is the biggest gift I have ever received. It has changed my whole being, my whole focus, my whole understanding and approach to life. Recently, I have been faced with the results of unmaintained possessions being devalued and ruined. Subhaan Allah, what a blessing it has been! I abhor such waste, such ignorant carelessness. However, I have taken it as a lesson and message from my Creator. It has reminded me of the importance of maintaining my deen. I will not appreciate in value, unless I nurture Islam within me. It is everything! Houses and cars will not aid me on the Day of Reckoning...but the maintenance and increase in my emaan, taqwa, and ibaadah will. Alhamdu l'Illah for this reminder from my Rabb, and al hamdu l'Illah ala kully haal. Astaghfir Allah wa atoobu ilayk wa al hamdu l'Illahi Rabb il aal ameen.