Make That Call

Bism Illah wa as salaamu alaikum wa Rahmat Allah wa Barakatuh.

How many of us have at least one person that we haven't talked to in a long while. Someone that perhaps we have been out of touch with for so long that we feel embarrassed or shy to even call by now?

How many of us have received a call from a friend or acquaintance after a long time and been really pleased that they remembered us? That even though a long time had passed, they still got in touch... apologies and all. If you ever had it happen to you, then you know that it's better to make the call than leave it any longer. It's called strengthening the ties of brotherhood/sisterhood. It's what our Ummah is all about.

Abu Dharr said: My friend (the Prophet) ordered me to observe seven things. He ordered me to love the poor and be near them; he ordered me to consider my inferior and not consider my superior; he ordered me to be kind to the kinsman and to preserve and keep intact the bond of kinship; he ordered me not to ask anyone for anything; he ordered me to speak the truth even when it is bitter; he ordered me not to fear for Allah's sake reproach anyone may cast on me; and he ordered me to repeat often, "There is no might and no power except in God," for these words are a part of the treasure under the throne. (Ahmad)

I had a friend who I hadn't heard from in a couple of weeks. I gave her a call to see what was happening with her and to apologise for not calling earlier. Turns out she didn't even know what day Eid was on and that there was the Deal of the Year coming up on Yawm Al Arafat to wipe out two years of sins. Subhaan Allah! Then she told me that she'd been depressed and I told her to scream, shout and kick Shaytaan out. The next day she called to say that Allah sent the call to her just when she needed it and that she was back on track. Alhamdul'Illahi Rabbil al-ameen! You just never know how, or who, your call might benefit.

We all get busy in our lives. But when someone makes the time for us, remembers us in all the rush, we feel special and loved. The ties of kinship are precious. Make the time, even if only for 5 minutes. Make your list of neglected friends and give them a call.

You can never go wrong in doing good. Make your list of people who there is some bad feeling between you, then build a bridge and get over it.

"The good deed and the evil deed cannot be equal. Repel (the evil) with one which is better, then verily! he, between whom and you there was enmity, (will become) as though he was a close friend." [Quran 41:34]

Make the call, pay the visit. Believers are to each other like bricks in a wall, one supporting the other and each relying on each other for support. Without all the bricks, the wall becomes weak and falls down. Strengthen the walls, bring our Ummah back together one brick at a time... one call at a time.

Why I Travel

BismIllah wa as salaamu alaykum wa Rahmat Allah wa Barakatuh.

I read this, by chance, and was instantly brought to tears. (Yes, I know I'm just a like a leaky tap when it comes to Islam!) Anyway, I have never seen this from it's source, but this is apparently some poetry from  Imām ash-Shāfi‘ī, Raḥimahullāh:

Leave your home in search of the heights and travel

Because there are five benefits of traveling:

To relieve your despair,

To seek to enrich your livelihood,

To seek knowledge and good character,

And to accompany righteous companions.”

Subhaan Allah, there are no coincidences. I travel for every one of those reasons.

I travel to relieve my despair: When shaytaan has infiltrated some part of my life and I need my time alone with my Rabb, I walk. I travel around and around, thinking and talking with Allah until I arrive at my destination - a blessed place in mind and spirit.

I travel to seek livelihood: I have flown to Madinah al Munawarah with my husband and family seeking halal livelihood in a blessed and Islamic environment.

I travel to seek knowledge and good character: I travel every weekday to a Quran school to learn Arabic, Quran, Islamic Studies, and to study with teachers and among other sisters who all encourage each other to good character. I travel on weekends to spend time with valued friends who I can rely on to seek Allah's pleasure.

I travel to accompany righteous companions: This is the most broad area of my travel because I have physically traveled to accompany righteous companions, and every day of my life I travel with many beautiful sisters, kindred spirits, along the path of this dunya towards our goal of Jennah. When one gets tired, another gives her a pep talk. When one gets sidetracked, another re-focuses her. When one struggles, another supports. It is the travel that reaps rewards and benefits without ever having to leave my home. While there are many downfalls of technology and this Internet Revolution, most certainly this is one of the most beautiful things about it. Sisterhood, brotherhood, the joining and uniting of believers in their struggles as they travel along life's path.

I am overwhelmed by the blessing of so many righteous companions on seeking to remain firmly on the Siraat al Mustaqeem (The Straight Path). "Then which of the favors of your Lord will you deny?"

Mean and Monstrous Mama Mai!

Bism Illah wa as salaamu alaykum wa Rahmat Allah wa Barakatuh.

Friday was a day of speaking my mind clearly, without "volume," and with perfect frankness. Who to? My daughters. This is something I haven't read about in the mothering books, blogs, and magazines but I think it is worth sharing.

My 7 year old is now praying all the prayers with her 10 year old sister and I, mashaa'Allah. This is a beautiful and blessed thing, wa al hamdu l'Illah. However, as soon as we finish praying she starts to talk to me, ask questions, or just chat about anything that comes to her mind. I, on the other hand, wish to say all my dua', adhkaar, and suwar after my prayer. Several times I have asked, or told, her not to talk to me or distract me until I'm finished, but she seems to forget that on a daily basis. So, last Friday when she proceeded to repeatedly ask me some relatively unimportant question, I stayed silent until I had finished my after prayer routine and then I spoke to her (and the other girls, as they were in the room as well). Here's what Mean and Monstrous Mama Mai said:

"Do you expect me to leave my communication with Allah to answer your non-urgent question or to chat with you? I have told you many times about this, but now I must make things clear. My Rabb and getting to Jennah are the most important things in my life. If this is my last prayer and adhkaar, then I need it to count for me, not against me. This time I spend with my Rabb may be the thing that tips my scales to the right hand side. I will not answer you or give you priority over Allah or my chances for Jennah. You are not more important than those things. If, for example, Allah should command me not to speak to you again, I would obey that command because obedience to Allah, subhaana wa taala,  is first."

Now, that is not verbatim because I don't have that photographic memory, but it is most certainly what I said. Some of you may be thinking by now, "Mai is a really harsh and mean mother!" However, I have realized that everything we do is an example and a lesson for our children. If my children don't see me put Allah first, they will not think it important. If they don't understand that NOTHING is more important than worshiping Allah and pleasing Him, then they will be lost. So, I'm not only taking care of my needs, but I'm walking the walk and talking the talk so they can see priorities in action.

I imagine that many of you nicer and sweeter mothers get the message across in a much more loving and indirect way, but that's what I did and no-one seems the worse for it, wa al hamdu l'Illah! Truly every ounce of good is from Allah, and every good intention is rewarded.

Love your Lemons!

BismIllah wa as salaamu alaykum wa Rahmat Allah wa Barakatuh!

Through Allah's Grace and Inspiration, I wrote this to a dear sister of mine recently and I felt it was worth sharing with others.

There is no doubt that we are all exactly where we are meant to be. It's up to us to accept Allah's Qadar gladly, or not. Keep on striving and never give up the dua'. If we follow Allah's Guidance and seek His pleasure, He will never fail his faithful servants. He always gives us exactly what we need, when we need it. 

This is an analogy...but apply it to your life situations and you will surely find a great deal of appreciation for His blessings.

Lemons are a beautiful fruit. Some may think them sour, but they have a unique taste, smell, and many uses. Make lemonade from every single lemon...and use the peels for deodorizing, cleaning stainless steel, in a pot of tea, a little of the zest in muffins or a cake, then dry the skins that are left to make potpourri.

Get the FULL BENEFIT from everything you are presented in life...so you can fully appreciate Allah's gifts.

Update

BismIllah wa as salaamu alaykum!

I think it is time I put in an appearance on this blog, especially as some people think I've dropped off the face of the earth. Since Ramadan, life has been very busy for my family and me. This is the year that I finally get something I've been yearning for - Arabic and Quran classes. Yes, my girls and I are all attending Dar al Haafidhaat here in Madinah al Munawarrah and we are growing like little sprouts there, mashaa'Allah.

My youngest daughter is in KG2, my other daughters are in the girl's class, which covers Quran, Tajweed, Islamic Studies, and Arabic. I am in mustawa thani (level 2 Madina books) and learn Quran, Tajweed, Islamic Studies, Arabic Language, Arabic Reading Comprehension, Arabic Composition, and Arabic Dictation. Wheee! I cannot express my joy aside from saying, "LA! LA! LA!"

Of course, I am also homeschooling the girls when we get back home around noon time and trying to stuff my own homework in somewhere between cooking dinner and going to bed. I'm a busy bunny, and my ideas are just lying unwritten because of all these developments. Never mind, though, as I'm having a break for Dhul Hijjah and Hajj, so there should be more time for sharing bi ithn Illah.

Some of the topics on my list of things to write about are:

- Sharing some of the Islamic websites that I have found excellent for my children.
- Sharing some thoughts on what has made a big impression on me lately.
- Adding to My Favorite Mind Food page.
- Consistency, constancy, and common sense in parenting.
- The long-term machinations and sharp angles that shaytaan catches us with.
- Some musings about polygany.

A thing that crossed my mind lately is that we must be aware and seek refuge with Allah from all the harm and evil in the things we do/read/are exposed to, and to beg Him for the good and benefit in them. This is important! For example., my daughter loves to read but I realized that although she derives benefit from reading, there can also be harm if shaytaan gets his way. I wrote out a little dua' for her to say before she starts reading a book, to safeguard her, inshaa'Allah. From this, the idea has blossomed and I see that we cannot be careful enough in protecting ourselves, because shaytaan never sleeps. Audhu b'Illahi min ashaytaan ir-rajeem!

Much love to you all!

Just One of My Fears...

BismIllah wa as salaamu alaykum wa Rahmat Allah.


Many things are chugging through, flitting about in, wandering in and out of, and seriously on my mind. One of them, which is extremely important and is a great fear of mine is the danger of enjoying having people agree with me, praising, or showing appreciation for what I do, write, or say to them.

When I write, I put my ideas out into cyberspace for the purpose of self-development, to communicate with friends, and in case it might benefit anyone who happens to read them. I have asked myself if I would write if nobody ever commented or responded in any way to it. The answer is yes. I write because I believe there is benefit in it for me. As I grow, struggle, and strive I keep an account of at least some of what my mind and heart are going through. Perhaps, years from now, my children will read all this and have a better idea of who their mother really is, what she was about, and how much she put into the whole family's growth and development.

However, when I get a comment that someone agrees with me or says thanks for posting something, I often stand at the stove (don't ask me why this place) and worry to myself that I might have a trace of "praise junkie" in me. Audhu b'Illahi min ash-shaytaan ir-rajeem! That is so frightening. Also, I fear the sin of kibr (feeling proud of myself) because of something I wrote that is agreed with or appreciated. Ugh! I know that the perfect words are the Quran, that the most beneficial words for our life practice are the ahadith, and that the light shed on the Quran and Sunnah come from the true scholars. They are my focus for reading, learning, and attainment.  So what is the point of writing anything?

Okay, I've brought myself to this point. I understand that we have all those beautiful resources, and those are what I read, turn to, and strive to base my life on. However, I am striving, struggling, and going through all kinds of developmental stages which other mere humans may well relate to. I'm not "THERE" yet, and never will be...but perhaps sharing my journey will encourage or at least give me company along the path...ya Rabb, inshaa'Allah ALWAYS the siraat al mustaqeem - ameen.