Houses Built of Straw, Sticks, and Bricks

BismIllah wa as salaamu alaykum.

Late last night I could not sleep. My mind was filled with different ideas and issues. Then, in thinking of marriages in Islam I was reminded of The Three Little Pigs. Ironic, I know. Pigs are hardly our animal of the week. However, it was their choice of houses that was in my mind.

When we build relationships and structure our lives around someone who is away from Islam, we are living in a house made of straw. We surround ourselves with something that has no weight with Allah, no substance. The person doesn't gain the rewards for their actions because they aren't done for the sake of Allah, subhaana wa taala. Hence, their house has no permanence and is easily blown away by shaytaan, the big, bad wolf.

When we build relationships and structure our lives around someone who is a hypocrite, we are living in a house made of sticks. It has some substance, but the hypocrisy makes it intrisically weak. They know the truth, but they do not practice it and so their house has the strength of the truth but is still blown away by the big, bad wolf.

However, when we build relationships and structure our lives around someone who puts Islam first and bases their whole life and dealings around Allah's Guidance and the example of the Prophet Muhammad, salla Allahu alayhi wa sallam, they are living in a house made of strong bricks. The house has substance and weight with Allah. They are a support to each other and have the security and protection of their Creator. They are metaphorical bricks in the wall for each other. They have the defense against the big, bad wolf.

So many of us, at some stage of our life, built our houses out of straw or sticks. But their easy destruction guides us to appreciate all the beauty and security that a house made of bricks offers. May Allah, subhaana wa taala, guide us all to houses made of bricks in this life and beautiful palaces in Jennah al Firdous - ameen.

Arguments - The Weakness, The Struggle, The Light

BismIllah wa as salaamu alaykum.

SNAP! What does it? What is the thing that finally makes us snap? Which button is the one that, when pushed, sends us over the edge?

Ideally, Islamically, none.

Ideally, Islamically, we would say, "Audhu b'Illahi min as shaytaan irrajeem!" and keep our cool.

However, as humans, the ideal in Islam is something to strive for but not something we can fully attain. It is the striving that is important and the desperate disappointment in always falling short that makes us cry to Allah seeking forgiveness.

Bearing with patience, sabr, oh how hard it is when resources are low and the button is pushed. Oh how miserable to lose control and feel helplessly in the grips of shaytaan.

Remember the dua' "Oh Allah! Set not in authority over me one who is unjust!" After all this, shaytaan whispers to seek vengeance, to ask for justice and open signs. But Allah, subhaana wa taala, remains ever present and the depth of our faith wins the fight. We come to our senses and pray for the good, drawing to Islam. As we turn to Allah, we emerge stronger in deen, increased in taqwa.

Too deep? Saying, "Huh?" What I'm saying is that whenever we have an argument and we overcome the urges for vengeance and soften our hearts to seek the good for all involved, we increase our faith and taqwa. Anytime we lose control, allow shaytaan to infiltrate the goodness, and then fight back with true faith and a sincere heart, Allah Gifts us with a better level of deen.

Alhamdul'Illahi Rabb il al ameen!

Nothing Flourishes Without Maintenance

BismIllah wa as salaamu alaykum.

There are so many in our world that take whatever they can get from a thing and then just write it off and discard it. How will a house appreciate in value if it is never maintained? How will a car keep functioning well if it is never serviced? Likewise, how will our hearts draw closer to Allah without constant nurturing?

I want to increase in value in the Eyes of my Rabb every day, bi ithn Allah taala. I want to function well until the day I die, insha'Allah. All my life, I have taken care of my possessions, kept safe my gifts. Islam is the biggest gift I have ever received. It has changed my whole being, my whole focus, my whole understanding and approach to life. Recently, I have been faced with the results of unmaintained possessions being devalued and ruined. Subhaan Allah, what a blessing it has been! I abhor such waste, such ignorant carelessness. However, I have taken it as a lesson and message from my Creator. It has reminded me of the importance of maintaining my deen. I will not appreciate in value, unless I nurture Islam within me. It is everything! Houses and cars will not aid me on the Day of Reckoning...but the maintenance and increase in my emaan, taqwa, and ibaadah will. Alhamdu l'Illah for this reminder from my Rabb, and al hamdu l'Illah ala kully haal. Astaghfir Allah wa atoobu ilayk wa al hamdu l'Illahi Rabb il aal ameen.

Mai's Q&A with the Imam about Sleeping on the Floor

BismIllah wa as salaamu alaykum.

Well, a few months ago, off I went to the Imam to ask about emulating the Prophet, salla Allahu alayhi wa sallam, in things such as sleeping on the floor. He said that some things were Sunnat al ibadah and some were Sunnat al a'adat. That means some are Sunnahs of worship and some are Sunnahs of custom, things that were the Prophet's habits, not things relating to worship specifically. So he said, we don't have to sleep on the floor - that was his choice. We can sleep in comfort and luxury, it is halal.

I feel some lack of conviction about this...not that it is haram to sleep on a raised bed, LOL, but about the sunnah of sleeping on the floor not being something we are meant to emulate. Oh, you may sigh...what now, Mai?

Well, these ahadith are always in my mind on the subject.

The Zuhd of Prophet Muhammad: his bedding

Narrates Sayyidina 'Umar (may Allah be pleased with him): "I went to the Prophet and saw that he was lying on a mat made of the leaves of the date-palm, and there was no bedding between him and the mat, and the texture of the mat had left deep marks on his body, and under his head was placed a leather pillow stuffed with the bark of the date-tree. On seeing it, I said, "My Master! Pray to Allah (The Glorified and The Exalted) to grant prosperity to your followers. He has bestowed riches upon the people of Rome and Persia even though they are not believers." The Prophet (may Allah's blessings and peace be upon him) replied, 'O son of Khattab! Do you also think like that? They are the people who have been deprived of the blessings of the Hereafter (owing to their ungodly ways), and hence, the comforts (Allah wanted to confer upon them) have been granted to them in this world.' (In another version of the same Tradition, it is said that the Prophet replied, "O 'Umar! Do you not prefer that they took the joys of this world and we of the Hereafter)?" (Bukhari and Muslim)

Hadrat 'AbdAllah ibn Mas'ud (may Allah be pleased with him) says that (once) the Holy Prophet (may Allah's blessings and peace be upon him) slept on a mat made of date palm leaves and when he awoke, the impressions of the mat were visible on his body. We said: "O Allah's Messenger (may Allah's blessings and peace be upon him)! May we prepare a soft bedding for you?" He said: I have got nothing to do with the world. I am in this world like a rider who halts in the shade of a tree for a short time and after taking some rest, resumes his journey leaving the tree behind. (Tirmidhi)

There is another I recently read regarding the Prophet (sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam) asking Aisha (radhi Allahu anha) if she had changed his bedding. She responded that she had folded up the mat to make it more comfortable for him. He said that he slept so comfortably that he didn't wake up at his usual time for tahajjud and asked that his mat be returned to its original state.

Subhaan Allah, I cannot tell you how differently I view super snuggly, soft as a cloud, comfortable beds since reading that!

Obviously, we are not told that we must sleep in such a way, but we are shown the best example in our Prophet, salla Allahu alayhi wa sallam, when it comes to leaving behind the comforts and things of this world. It wasn't so much a custom, as a deliberate thing he did for a clear reason. He even said to Umar, are you thinking like the people who are only getting comforts in this life? Well, I do not want to be one with the comforts in this life and none in the next. Somehow there is a serious message in the Prophet, salla Allahu alayhi wa sallam, sleeping in such a simple state. That is why I don't want a raised fancy bed.

Disappointed is an understatement about having to get mattresses to put on the floor here in Madinah, but Allah is the Most Perfect Planner and always with the patient, so I simply accept and place my trust in His Qadr and Qadar. In the meantime, I just keep on loving every aspect of how our beloved Prophet lived and praying I can even emulate a fraction of it - the ibadah and the customs insha'Allah.

Replacing What Is Lost with What is Better

BismIllah wa as salaamu alaikum.

Allah keeps sending me messages, keeps putting information in my path and I cannot ignore it. A couple of years ago, I read that fantasy books are not beneficial to read. They are not only lies, but impossible scenarios that have no basis in reality. At the same time, such things as fairy tales often promote immorality, an unrealistic concept of life and love, and a consistent boy meets girl, fall in love, maybe get married, and live happily after theme. Totally NOT what I want my children to grow up thinking or believing to be true.

Well, it's not exactly news that I hate the whole focus on entertainment and totally agree with the schools of thought that say that Islam should be taught seriously, not with cutesy videos, a bunch of songs, and cartoon characters to imitate Walt Disney. I do not want my children to be addicted to entertainment. So, when I was reading "You Can Be the Happiest Woman in the World" to prepare for a workshop I'll be doing this Saturday, I came across a directive which tied it all together. The author stated that romance books are promoting haram and are a waste of time. He further said that mystery novels teach us crime, deception, and are not Islamically beneficial. He said that if we are to read, we should read things that draw us closer to Allah, whether it be actual religious books, or books that further our knowledge of His vast universe, or books that teach us about the healing properties of every plant He has placed on this earth. This finally focused me. I took my questions to our Imam during the children's Quran class. He confirmed that to leave our children to read such fiction is to allow them to read lies and that the culture promoted in those books will have an effect on them. Reading about magic, fairies, vampires, etc. is not all...any of the story books that are about people's lives outside of Islam are harmful to our children. We end up glamorizing Western society and norms by giving them these books to read.

Now my mind is clear regarding Allah's message for me. We are preparing to go the Madinah Al Munawarrah in early September, insha'Allah. Our children will attend Private Saudi Quran-based schools insha'Allah. My sole focus is for them to all learn Arabic to fluency and know exactly what they are reading when they recite Quran. By the end of elementary school they should know about half the Quran, bi ithn Allah. Allah is guiding me to prepare properly. My children are no longer going to read books that are lies. They are no longer going to read fiction, particularly fiction that is not based on an Islamic lifestyle.

So, for my avid little 6 year old reader I must make some serious replacements. I have set her on the life of the Prophet Muhammad - a children's version. She read the stories from the Quran, so I will start finding readable books on the life of different prophets, sahaba, etc. The wives of the prophet will be interesting for her, too. I am going to get more craft books from the library and start making the effort to involve her in cooking. I am even planning to sit down and play Madinah Salat Challenge game with them, so they have a halal and educational fun time with me. We are going to make rag rugs together insha'Allah, practise our Quran daily, listen to interesting things and I'm thinking to turn her on to Sahih Al Bukhari. I believe she will enjoy reading ahadith and understanding more about the way the Prophet, salla Allahu alayhi wa sallam, lived. I'll keep you posted on how it goes. It will certainly be a big adjustment for a girl who goes through 4 or 5 chunky chapter books per day of a 4th - 5th grade level or higher. But it is time to set things right and take her out of that form of entertainment.

Today she asked to read the Stories of the Prophet, salla Allahu alayhi wa sallam, masha'Allah. Then she proceeded to read a selection of our Islamic children's stories. This is the beginning. I pray that Allah blesses me in this and makes my children of the rightly guided strangers in this dunya - ameen. As I gradually build up the adhkaar, the dua', the little Sunnahs of eating and sleeping, I can feel them thrive under the light of Islam. Tomorrow we will fast, insha'Allah. As we draw closer to Ramadan, I feel hopeful that we will strive more this year than ever before.

May you all be guided to what will truly impact you and your family this Ramadan and see it through - ameen.

Degrees of Deen

Bism Illah wa as salaamu alaikum.

What happens when you find that you and your spouse are in different places Islamically? Hey, everybody is in a different place, but I'm talking about things that cause difference of opinion about how to raise the children or conduct oneself in public. Well, it may be that one of the parties goes to the Imam with questions, and each time gets confirmation that their thinking on the subject is correct. The first time, the Imam says try to talk about it nicely but have patience because we all have to grow in Islam and we all do it at different speeds and times. The second time, the Imam says that if possible it is best to try to talk nicely about it and convince the spouse that the subject isn't as they see it. Once the Imam is informed that this will upset the spouse or cause discord, he says, "May Allah help you. Make dua' for Allah to help you."

So what can one derive from all this? That when there is a serious conflict in issues of deen, something where one cannot see the harm in something and the other can, the most powerful thing you can do is turn to Allah. Of course, we know that dua' is the ally of the believer. But in this case, when the believer who is striving for Allah's cause and has been given clear guidance makes dua' for a change for the good, there is no way that Allah can refuse. One way or another, He will address your pleas. Also, what should one make dua' for? Pray, pray, pray that Allah makes your partner love what He loves, hate what He hates, and increases them in emaan, taqwa, and ibadah. Pray that Allah gives them eyes to see the traps of shaytaan, to avoid the doubtful things. Pray, pray, pray that Allah will protect anyone and everyone that may fall victim in the situation. Pray, pray, pray for your children.

And a word of encouragement to anyone out there who can understand this whole subject. Don't ever feel sad that you have "eyes" and "ears" and a "heart" that Allah has blessed with sure and clear Guidance. It is hard, there is no question. You will feel alone much of the time and may be called "extreme" lol. But would you ever turn down such gifts from your Rabb? Never! Just pray that He blesses those near and dear to you with those "eyes", "ears", and "heart." When you get to a stage that life is a prison, that you see the fitnah clearly in everything and know that distractions from Allah are of no benefit, just keep praying for Allah to keep raising your awareness and drawing you closer. He may be sending you as an example, as a benefit to others. He may have put you with someone of different understanding to give them da'awah and move them to a better place. One thing is for sure, He has given you a gift...use it as He Wills, wisely and well and turn your whole self over to Him.