Polygyny: Hubby's Monthly Progress Report.

Bism Illah wa as salaamu alaykum wa Rahmat Allah wa Barakath.

About a week ago, hubby asked for a polygyny progress report reflecting how I felt he was doing with our polygynous situation. He has asked that it be done monthly so he can keep on top of things and that it be submitted in writing, so he has a record to refer back to. I have copied it below, however I have edited it slightly so as not to give overly specific details about members of our family. It is not edited enough to change my points though.

Polgyny Progress Report #1

Bism Illah wa as salaamu alaykum wa Rahmat Allah wa Barakatuh.

All thanks and praise are for Allah, the most Perfect Provider of all our needs and our perfect Guide!

There are four aspects that I will address in this PPR: Relationship, Family, Islamic, and Practical.

Relationship:

Mashaa'Allah, you have done an excellent job of ensuring that I feel loved and appreciated. You have made an effort to make our time together enjoyable and of quality. The extra effort and affection has, in fact, made our relationship better than before, al hamdu l'Illah. Keep it up, please ;-D 

Family:

Although this is obviously an area that is harder to please everyone in, the effort you have made to spend a little time each day with the girls is helping. Most certainly one of the most important factors is that they see you every day. The morning school routine makes it far less like you are gone much. They are affected by it all, I see it in the way they ask if you are here when they wake up, when you are coming, if you will be having dinner. However, considering that the changes are inevitable, I think it is going well enough. I have made the effort to make our nights and dinners without "Daddy" special and incorporate the bedtime story into things so that they have more things to look forward in their routine. They are certainly happy when we do more family things, especially going to the park, shopping, masjid, and they are looking forward to the return of the istaraaha and beach trips, inshaa'Allah. I think the main things they look for are nice activities out of the house and being part of a happy family.

- Friday Family thing is okay, but it is not an outing of choice.

Islamic:

This has been an area where having someone in the family who needs to be taught certain basics has perhaps pushed you to closer adherence and growth in various Islamic areas, mashaa'Allah. It has been difficult to explain things to the children when there are contradictions within our family (e.g. differences in prayer, dress, etc.) However, inshaa'Allah this will all come  together in time and they will see how we all conform and unify in Islam as per the Quran and Sunnah.

Practical Issues:

I guess these are known perfectly well, but I'll document them anyway.

- Time for food shopping falls by the wayside and is inconsistent. The Friday Family thing interferes with the previous shopping arrangement. Need a top up for the household jar, so we can go to the supermarket over the road for necessities now and then, inshaa'Allah.

- The afternoon visit time isn't working as well at earlier on, and sometimes it doesn't seem balanced. For example, you came an hour late because last minute you dropped Zainab at her cousins. Perhaps it was made up by you being here on a night she was working, as I'm not keeping a track.

- The schedule is quite heavy and generally tiring, but I don't think there is much to be done about that with all that's going on.

- Zainab's job and your choice about her cooking makes things very unbalanced. Although I am grateful for the soft start for the girls in regards to having dinner with you and seeing you on more evenings, it isn't fair on the wives... When she is not working, there is no reason why your children couldn't go there after school and do their work on their netbooks. The structure and schedule for their homeschooling is not working well at all.

I understand that once Zainab stops working, then things will fall into place, inshaa'Allah. Inna Allaha ma'a as saabireen.


Barak Allahu feek wa fee usratanaa - ameen.

We discussed my comment about the Friday family outings. Hubby reminded me that they were established so we can get to know each other, build up a relationship, and be one big family. We have had five outings to date, the last three of which were at the park. However, the past four weeks we haven't had our Friday Family outing due to various circumstances.

It is amazing how easy it is to get comfortable not having those outings, especially as they take time for food preparation and need a great deal of mental effort to speak in Arabic. However, truly that is just shaytaan's whispers, as the more we get to know each other the better prepared we will be for living together on our land in the future inshaa'Allah.


I will post separately about the schedule because it is the biggest issue we have in all of this and looks just a big bowl of spaghetti at the moment. However, he already realized the food shopping issue and set new time slots for that...which for unforeseen circumstances these past two weeks haven't worked either, LOL. Since the progress report, hubby is now taking the children at change-over time and cooking on the evenings that he is at Zainab's. Also, he has freed up two of his nights during the week that were for Arabic classes, so Tuesday or Wednesday, regardless of whether Zainab is working, he will be able to take them there as usual.

So, inshaa'Allah this monthly exercise will be an excellent way to open up channels of communication on any problems that need to be addressed and what's going well. I'm taking notes of the beauty and the glitches in the programme, so let's see what next month's will bring, inshaa'Allah!

Polygyny: Living Arrangements and Co-Wives' Relationship

Bism Illah wa as salaamu alaykum wa Rahmat Allah wa Barakatuh.

As many of you have read, my co-wife lives just down the road from our apartment; perhaps no more than a 5 or 10 minute walk. This makes life much more pleasant for us all, because hubby can visit and go back and forth very easily without losing time on the transportation to and from our apartments.

On that subject, hubby asked me last week about our future plans for land and whether, given the choice, I would rather have the houses close together or spaced far apart or even on adjoining parcels of land. I immediately wanted to say spaced far apart, but held my tongue to think it through properly first. I have several reasons for not wanting us to be beside each other's homes. One is confidentiality. If hubby stops by to see me during the day, or vice versa, we don't need to know about it. I also don't want to have to find ways to regulate the frequency of visits if it is more than I'm comfortable with. I'm very happy in my solitude and in my own home, mashaa'Allah. Another aspect is that I don't want the uninvited intrusion of Zainab's young children in my peaceful life. We will each be in different stages of family life. In addition, I do not want to leave myself open to any situation where I will be considered a resident babysitter. I have no ill will in saying this, but I want to safeguard against things that I know will cause bad feelings and that shaytaan could play on.

In any case, I had to find a way of explaining to hubby in a way he could totally understand. I sat in the van telling him to hang on while I tried to find the right analogy and example. Then, mashaa'Allah, I found an analogy that explained the situation perfectly. I had to think of a friend of hubby's that is more an acquaintance that he likes but who is not a dear and close friend. Once I thought of someone, who I've termed as Brother X here, I could give the example. Here it is.

"If I told you that you had to live with Brother X and all his children for the rest of your life, and you had a choice between having him in the house right next to you or on a plot of land a bit further away, which would you choose?"

He immediately got it. If it was a dear and close friend, he'd want them to be right near him, but for someone who he must live with but isn't that type of friend, he would want space. Polygyny is a life choice that affects everyone because it is marriage, and marriage is intended to be for a lifetime.

It is very important to ensure that everyone has their own space. How much space they need will depend on the relationship between the co-wives. Close friends may want to be very near each other as their friendship is far more important to them than their relationship as co-wives. Sisters in Islam may want more space so that they don't feel that they are having someone imposed on them and their lives who isn't a natural choice as a friend. Others who don't have a good relationship with their co-wife, may benefit the most by being far enough away that they don't have to cross paths but near enough that they don't suffer time or visitation loss because of it.

For me, Arabic, Quran, homeschooling, mothering, wifing, and supporting others in tawheed, taqwa, and tawakkal are primary goals for my future. Inshaa'Allah, I will have the space to focus on what is important to me and my co-wife will have the space to raise her family and follow her own goals.

Scream, Shout, Kick shaytaan OUT!

Bism Illah wa as salaamu alaykum wa Rahmat Allah wa Barakatuh.

Ever felt depressed, miserable, unhappy with life and unable to cope with trials? Well, it's all the workings of iblees, a.k.a. shaytaan and his helpers. I know what it is like. I, too, have been grabbed by the ankles by that rotten devil before now, and dragged towards the pit of no-emaan. The key is to know that shaytaan is at the root of the problem, and then deal with him.

Understand that it is a war between you and shaytaan. 

DO NOT LET HIM WIN. 

Say the following, with as much calm determination, force, or volume as you need.

"Audhu b'Illahi min ash-shaytaan ir-rajeem"

If an evil impulse from Satan provokes you, seek refuge in Allah. He is All-Hearing, All-Seeing. As for those who fear Allah, when they are bothered by visitors from Satan, they remember and immediately see clearly. (Surat al-A’raf, 200-201)

"Allahu Akbar"

The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “Satan runs through the blood veins of son of Adam, but when he remembers Allah, Satan retreats!”

"Bism Illah, leave me alone"

Abul-Maleeh (ra) reports that a man said, “I was behind the Messenger (saw) and his riding animal stumbled.  I said, “May Shaytaan perish”, and he said, “Do not say, “May Shaytaan perish”.  If you say that he will grow in size until he becomes the size of a house and says, “By my strength”.  Instead say, “In the Name of Allaah”.  When you say that, he reduces in size until he is like a fly.” (Abu Dawood, saheeh isnad).

Constantly repeat adhkaar - Subhaan Allah, Al Hamdu l'Illah, Allahu Akbar.

Negate shaytaan's power by saying, "La hawla wa la  quwatta ila b'Illah."

Recite Ayat al Kursi.

Say the adhaan.

Recite the Qur'aan in your house - especially Surat ul Baqarah, which will send him fleeing.

Abu Hurayrah (ra) reports that Allaah’s Messenger (saw) said, “Do not turn your houses into graves. Indeed Shaytaan flees from a house in which Surah al-Baqarah is recited.” (Muslim).

Pull out all your ammunition from your du'a book. Direct all your anger, bad feeling, frustration, emotion, and energy into screaming, shouting, and kicking shaytaan out. No, it isn't a typo that I don't capitalize that rotten devil's name - he doesn't deserve the respect of a capital letter.

I know this sounds extreme, but it works. You will have channeled all that negative energy into something positive and good - into tawakkal and ibadah. You will find yourself at the end of that feeling like a huge weight has been lifted from you.

May Allah protect us all from the evil workings and whisperings of shaytaan and grant us the ultimate success of His Pleasure, Mercy, and Jennah - ameen.

Parenting: If You Can't Make it, Fake It

Bism Illah wa as salaamu alaykum wa Rahmat Allah wa Barakatuh.


I believe that the responsibility of parenting is an extremely big thing. It isn't just about feeding a little body until it grows big or teaching them life skills, academics, and basics of Islam. It is about modeling Islam for them every day of their little lives so that it is the most natural thing in the world for them. It definitely is a subject that can be viewed from the cost and debt approach.

I once wrote a post, How Our Children Help our Islam, and this post ties in with that...with a very specific difference. This one is about our responsibility to model Islam correctly, even if we don't feel it. I have a couple of examples that are extremely prominent in my mind: hijab and social situations.

I have, all thanks to Allah, worn the hijab for 22 years now. I have also worn niqaab for the past 7 years, but in this case it is not relevant, because I'm only talking about hijab - the minimum obligatory Muslim female cover. For sisters who wear niqaab, however, I suggest you include it in the term of hijab. While my mode of covering has changed over the years, I have worn a loose overgarment on top of my regular clothes and a hijab that comes down over my chest ever since marriage (at the least) and that is what my children know of me. They have learned, according to their level of understanding, why women cover and that it isn't a choice, it is a must.

So what happens if I have a crisis of faith, (may Allah protect me from such misguidance and trial - ameen!), and I feel like removing my hijab? Absolutely nothing.  I am the primary model of Islam for my children, and regardless of my feelings, inshaa'Allah I will continue to wear the hijab for their sake. I do not want to send a message to my child that if they don't like a thing that Allah has made fard for them, that it is okay on their own whims to discard it. I don't want to show them a manifestation of weak faith. What is inside me, what I struggle with, will be between Allah and myself.

What is the result of my "faking it"? My children have that same, consistent role model and I am not outwardly disobedient to Allah. Even if I had a candid talk with my children and told them about emaan increasing and decreasing, I would be able to tell them that what goes on inside us doesn't mean we can disobey Allah's commands. Regardless of my inner turmoil, I don't have the sin of zina or tabarruj to carry alongside it. In protecting the example my children look to, I protect myself.


Anas, radhi Allahu anhu, reported that the Prophet, salla Allahu alayhi wa sallam, said, 

"Islam is public, whereas iman is in the heart."  (Ahmad)

Allah, azza wa jal, says,

"The desert Arabs say, 'We have iman.' Say: 'You do not have iman. Say rather, "We have become Muslim," for iman has not yet entered into your hearts. If you obey Allah and His Messenger, He will not undervalue your actions in any way," (Surat al-Hujurat: 14)

Although their iman was weak, adherence to Islam showed enough iman for their actions to be accepted.

This also relates to social situations, because our children's Islamic confidence comes greatly from seeing how we conduct ourselves publicly. I lived in a city where there were perhaps only 3 or 4 niqaabis. I never saw any on the street and I was the only woman in my college with hijab, let alone niqaab. As I homeschooled my children, often we would be free to take a walk during the day to the park, the library, or the thrift shop. I drew plenty of attention and was questioned by people in supermarkets, at the park, and even from their front porches about why I cover my face.

I have always welcomed the chance to explain hijab and niqaab, so in my short, simple, and friendly way I would explain. However people looked or reacted, I went about business as usual with my daughters and purposely spoke to the librarians, shop keepers, other mothers in the park, and cashiers. Hearing my accent alone dispersed preconceived ideas. Being my usual friendly and bubbly self further lowered the walls, until the cashiers started asking my advice about healthy foods and the librarians warmly welcomed our sunshiny smiles. 

I have attended school functions, the only niqaabi and my daughters the only Muslim children. When school picnics came around, we packed up our basket with all manner of healthy, halal foods because we knew we weren't eating the hotdogs. Other families commented on how delicious our food looked, and we offered around homemade cookies, bread, etc.

Of course, there have been a few negative moments that I've had to simply sail along and ignore. When my daughter asked  why people always had their music blaring, I calmly explained to her that they put music as an essential priority in their life. Much like we  remember Allah in all that we do, they listen to music. I explain that for us, remembering our Creator benefits us now and the aakhirah, but for them, the music is only an enjoyment in this life. Our walks are endless opportunities for comparing and contrasting. They are valuable learning experiences.

Do I always feel confident and look forward to those events? No. I often dread them, considering how I will make the experience enjoyable for my children, represent Islam well, and not compromise our practice or morals. Most surely I could avoid the social situations and save myself the effort. However, I must do all this because my children need to see me act with confidence and conviction. They need to see me take questions in stride and explain our practices engagingly and effectively. They need that for their own self-confidence and conviction that pleasing Allah is foremost, something to be proud about, and not to be compromised.

My modelling teaches them how to act with conviction, not only around non-Muslims but also around Muslims who don't have the same standards or practices. For every question and every life practice and behavior, they are given proof in the form of Quran or hadith.  In this way, they too will know how to establish an unshakeable foundation with the ability to answer questions without fear or intimidation, inshaa'Allah.

By practicing Islam you benefit your children, and by having children they help you practice your Islam. Maintaining your outward Islam frees your mind and heart to nurture your inward emaan.

White Heart

Bism Illah wa as salaamu alaykum wa Rahmat Allah wa Barakatuh.

Many years ago, while I was living in Bahrain, I had some Zamzam water. I saved it so that I could drink a little each day to break my fasts. Zamzam is for whatever you want or need it to be, so I would sit and make dua' over it to this effect.

"Oh Allah, give me the reward as if I were doing an Umrah and drinking this Zamzam at the well in Masjid al Haram. Oh Allah, wash away my sins, bad feeling, and any rust on my heart. As I drink, fill me with emaan, taqwa, sabr, sakina, wisdom, understanding and love for You, your Book, and your Messenger. Oh Allah, wash my heart clean and white. Seal my heart with this Zamzam water so that it stays clean and white, without blemish, until the day I meet You."

This dua' has changed slightly, as I now live in Madinah and have done several Umrahs, but the rest remains the same. One day, while I was working last year at Al-Fus-Ha Girls School, there was a presentation by some visiting deaf and dumb students in the theater/auditorium. I was seated and there were some balloons floating around for decoration. I left my seat to attend to something and when I returned, there was a white, heart shaped balloon right under my chair. I took the balloon and cried because there are no coincidences. At that moment, I was sure that Allah had heard my pleas and was giving me a sign of hope. The balloon has long since lost its air, but it is still a perfect heart shape.

To drag out the story, when we first went to Masjid al Haram after arriving here, I told my daughters to say the dua' for a white heart. Just a few weeks ago, my 4 year old was walking around our apartment and said, "I have a white heart." I was a bit surprised by her out-of-the-blue statement, so I asked her how she knew. She said, "I said that dua' over my Zamzam, Mummy. Allah has made my heart white until the day I meet him." Now that is absolute faith, mashaa'Allah.

Why am I typing all this to you? Because my daughter recently pulled the white heart balloon out of the box I keep it in and it reminded me. Also, because I want to remind you all that ALLAH can do ANYTHING. Just ask Him, beg Him, not just for the present situation, not just for Jennah al Firdaus, for EVERYTHING good and important. If He sends you tests, then know they are a means to attain what you have asked for...and have TOTAL FAITH in HIM.

Okay, I'm going to get my hankie now.

Tested? Here's the Deal...

Bism Illah wa as salaamu alaykum wa Rahmat Allah wa Barakatuh.

It do not usually post information on my blog that can be found on other websites. However, this is a subject so close to my heart that when I hear of anyone struggling with it or needing an understanding and outlook, I must share. I was honored to give a workshop in Philadelphia on, "After Hardship there is Ease." This is part of the material I used. I have highlighted in a different color certain hadith that actually make me feel happy, grateful, and totally blessed whenever Allah sends me a test. This gives me great hope; I hope it will do the same for you.

How to view Hardships?

Allah has decreed that, in this life, hardships and disasters strike both believers and non-believers. For a non-believer, they are inconveniences that hinder him from proceeding with his normal involvement in the worldly life. For a believer, on the other hand, they are instances of rest and remembrance, tests that promise great rewards, and indications of atonement and expiation of sins. Regardless of how little is the harm that strikes a believer, it carries with it good news of forgiveness and elevated rank (in Jannah). The Righteous Predecessors used to be pleased when a hardship afflicted them, seeing it as a token of Allah’s forgiveness and benevolence.

Allah burdens not a person beyond his scope. He gets reward for that (good) which he has earned, and he is punished for that (evil) which he has earned. "Our Lord! Punish us not if we forget or fall into error, our Lord! Lay not on us a burden like that which You did lay on those before us (Jews and Christians); our Lord! Put not on us a burden greater than we have strength to bear. Pardon us and grant us Forgiveness. Have mercy on us. You are our Maula (Patron, Suppor-ter and Protector, etc.) (Surah Baqara Verse 286)

Expiations of Sins

Abu Hurayrah (RA) reported that the Prophet said: " Hardships continue to befall a believing man and woman in their body, family, and property, until they meet Allah (S) burdened with no sins. " [Tirmithee]

Sign of Allah’s Love
Abu Hurayrah (RA) reported that the Prophet (SAW) said: " Whenever Allah wills good for a person, He subjects him to adversity" [Bukharee and others]

Sign of Eeman
Abu Hurayrah (RA) and Ka’b Bin Maalik (RA) reported that the Prophet (SAW) said: " The parable of a believer is that of a fresh and moist plant; the wind tilts it this way and that way; and so is the believer; he continues to be subject to affliction. And the parable of a hypocrite is that of a firm cedar tree; it does not shake - until it is uprooted all at once." [Bukharee and Muslim]

Sign of Righteousness
The prophets and righteous people are afflicted the most, and their rewards are the highest. Sa’d (RA) reported that the Prophet (SAW) said: " The most in their suffering among the people are the prophets, then the best, then the (next) best. One is afflicted in accordance with his deen (faith). If his deen is firm his affliction is hard, and if his deen is weak, his affliction is light. Indeed, one would be so much subjected to adversity until he walks among the people without any sins. " [Ahmad, Tirmithee]

Early Punishment
Anas (RA) reported that the Prophet (SAW) said: " When Allah wills good for a servant of His, He expedites his punishment in this life; and when He wills retribution for a servant of His, He holds his sins for Him to judge him by them on the Day of Resurrection." [Tirmithee]

Multiplication of Rewards
Anas (RA) reported that the Prophet (SAW) said: " The amount of reward is in accordance with the amount of suffering. When Allah (SWT) loves some people, He tries them (with affliction). He who then is content (with Allah’s decree) has achieved the acceptance (of Allah), and he who is dissatisfied (with Allah’s decree) will attain the anger (of Allah)." [Tirmithee]

Rewards for Sickness
One should not look to sickness as a gloomy episode, but should remember the great good in it. It is one form of affliction with which Allah (SWT) tests His ‘ibaad (servants), giving them a
chance to acquire rewards, as was explained above, as is further emphasized below.

Removal of Sins and Elevation in Ranks
Abu Hurayrah (RA) reported that the Prophet (SAW) said: " Whenever a Muslim is afflicted by harm from sickness or other matters, Allah will drop his sins because of that, like a tree drops its leaves." [Bukharee and Muslim]

Abu Sa’eed al-Khudree (RA) reported that the Prophet (SAW) said: "A Muslim is not afflicted by hardship, sickness, sadness, worry, harm, or depression - even if pricked by a thorn, but Allah expiates his sins because of that. " [Bukharee and Muslim]

Sa’eed said, " I was with Salmaan (RA) when he visited a sick man in Kindah ( in Persia ), and he said to him: " Expect good because Allah (SWT) makes a believers sickness an expiation (for his sins) and a period of rest. However, when a disbeliever falls sick, he is like a camel whose owner ties it then lets it loose - it does not understand why it was tied nor why it was freed." [Bukharee]

‘Aishah (RA) narrated that once some pain afflicted the Prophet (SAW) causing him to suffer and turn about in his bed. she said: "Had one of us done this, you would have blamed him." He (SAW) replied: " An ailment is intensified for the righteous. whenever a believer is afflicted by a hardship, whether it is a thorn or more, a sin is taken off from him because of it, and he is elevated by one rank (in Jannah). " [Ahmad]

Retaining Rewards for Deeds Before Sickness
Usually, when a believer falls sick, he would not be able to do the same amount of good (prayer, fasting, helping Muslims etc) that he used to do when he was well. But Allah out of His great mercy, continues to record for him the good deeds that he was forced to stop because of his sickness. Abu Moosa Al-Ash’aree narrated that the Prophet (SAW) said: " For a traveling or sick person, his deeds will be recorded in accordance with what he used to do when he was resident or well." [Bukharee]

‘Abdullah Bin ‘Amr reported that the Prophet said: "No (believing) person gets sick, but (his deeds) will be recorded for him in accordance with what he used to do when he was well." [Bukharee] Anas (RA) reported that the Prophet (SAW) said: " No Muslims body is afflicted by Allah, but He will record (his deeds) foe him in accordance with what he used to do when he was well - as long as he is sick. Thus, if He takes his life, He forgives him; and if He cures him, He washes him (from sins)." [Bukharee]

‘Uqbah Bin ‘Aamir reported that the Prophet (SAW) said: "Each days deeds are sealed with it. thus, when a believer gets sick, the angels say, " Our lord! Your servant such and such, You have restrained him (from doing good this day)." And the lord replies, " Seal his day in accordance with his (usual) deeds, until he is cured or dies". [Ahmad]

Reason for the Reward
‘Atta Bin Rabaah reported that Ibn ‘Abbaas (RA) told him, "Do you want to see a woman from the people of Jannah (paradise)?" He said "Yes". He said: " It is this black woman. She came to the Prophet (SAW) saying, " I have (epileptic) seizures, and I get exposed, so supplicate to Allah for me." He (SAW) said: " If you wish, be patient and you will attain Jannah; or if you wish, I will ask Allah to cure you." She replied, " I will be patient ! But my body gets exposed (because of the fall), so supplicate to Allah for me that I do not become exposed." and he (SAW) did." [Bukharee and Muslim]

The scholars have differed in opinion as to whether a sick person will be rewarded for the sickness itself or for being patient during it. the correct opinion is that if he is patient and submits to Allah’s will, as in the above hadeeth, he would be rewarded for both the submission and the sickness, otherwise, he would not be rewarded at all; because he resented Allah’s decree. This is what should be understood from Ibn hajar al-’Asqalaanees words: "The authentic hadeeths are clear in that the rewards are recorded once affliction strikes a Muslim. As for patience and acceptance, they are virtues for which a person may get additional rewards over those for the affliction." ‘Abdullah Bin ‘Amr reported that the Prophet (SAW) said: "If a Muslim is pricked by (as little as) a thorn in the worldly life, and he seeks its reward from Allah, some of his sins will be removed, because of it, on the Day of Judgement."[Bukharee]

"True believers are only those whose hearts are filled with awe whenever God is mentioned, and whose faith is strengthened whenever His revelations are recited to them. In their Lord do they place their trust." (Chapter 8: Verse 2)

(By: Md Ziya)

How we react when faced with an affliction, with a really big test, is the most important aspect when it comes to reaping rewards from Allah, subhaana wa taala. Whatever the test is, the first words to utter are "Al hamdu l'Illah!" Or "Al hamdu l'Illah 'ala kully haal!" (All praise be to Allah for every matter!)

Being grateful for the affliction or test is the highest level of emaan. This is the state when a person thanks Allah for the affliction that has befallen him. He knows that such a difficulty is a means of expiation for his sins and perhaps a cause for an increase in his good deeds.

I have a jolly little rhyme which you might like to say sometime...

Hop, skip and jump with glee,
Allah, You've sent a test to me!
Alhamdu l'Illah! Grateful is me,
I'm basking in the Love from Thee!