The Beginning of our Time Division

Bism Illah wa as salaamu alaykum wa Rahmat Allah wa Barakatuh.

We have been waiting for everything to be in place so that the wedding parties (one for women and one for men) could take place and hubby and co-wife could move into their apartment and start their life together.

Finally, Sunday night was the start of our new life in polygyny. Well, sort of. It was the wedding party for the women, so hubby was running around getting things bought and delivered for the event. He was very tired, was up most of the night, and had to take us to school at 7:00 a.m. in the morning. Needless to say, he spent his first day with his new bride and, after catching up on some sleep, called in the evening to check on us.
 
The second day, we were all off from school and that spells "opportunity" to me!  I asked hubby, through Skype, if we could take a walk to the mall in the morning. We got the go ahead, so off we went. These are the things that just don't happen when he is home. We don't get to walk places, explore, do things in our own time. The children ran along, happy to expend energy and all of us enjoying the beautiful weather. We had a nice mooch around the mall and I found beautiful cotton sundresses for SAR25, which is about $9 (UK pounds 4.50) and we enjoyed some fresh air and exercise. We came home, had some homemade pizza and french fries for lunch and hubby came over to drop off some fruit and check in on us. A short while later, while all the children were doing their homeschooling, I heard a pitter patter. Rain! We rushed to get dressed and go out in it. It didn't last long though, and we didn't get to walk around in it, Qadr Allah, but seizing the moment was exhilarating in itself . We ate organic garlic and pesto angel hair spaghetti (that hubby doesn't much like) for dinner with a nice salad.

By the third day, today, hubby had to drop us off to school and pick us up. He hung around for a while, playing with the girls. He is having the men's walima party tonight. What am I planning? A dinner of Yorkshire pudding, roast potatoes, vegetables, and stuffing...with gravy! If you're wondering if I forgot the meat, I didn't. I don't eat it, so I'm making a dinner that wouldn't work well with hubby but works well for us.


So here I am, the third day after hubby finally moved into his new home with his new wife. This is, supposedly, a very difficult time. Sisters think that these nights without him, knowing he is with another woman, must be very hard or, at least, something to "get through." Really though, they were just the same as any other night. I was happy to get to bed, happy to wake up, happy to fast on Monday, happy to go to school, happy to eat dinner, and happy to communicate with my friends and family. In fact, nothing happened to me to make me unhappy, with the exception of some of the frustrating and testing aspects of parenting, especially step-parenting. However, that has nothing to do with the time division, so it doesn't count.

I feel ecstatic about rediscovering our own stride with this time division. We can start walking again, we can have the spontaneity that isn't usual when hubby is home, and we can enjoy things that we particularly like. We also have the benefits of the activities and things that we do especially with him. Tomorrow, he will drop us off at Masjid An-Nabawi so we can make ziyaarah (visit the Prophet's grave and give salaams to him (salla Allahu alayhi wa sallam), Abu Bakr and Omar (radhi Allahu anhumaa) and pray in the Rowda, inshaa'Allah. After dhuhr prayer, he's taking us to the park, and on Friday we all go to the jumu'ah prayer and have lunch together. We can enjoy freedom with him and freedom from him.


So, what is the point? My world isn't any worse. My world isn't the same. Everything in my world is fine, happy, and actually better, wa al hamdu l'Illah!