Monday, August 16, 2010

Airing Issues and Complaining about our Husbands

As salaamu alaikum wa Rahmat Allah wa Barakatuh sisters.

I truly fear that we wives will be held to account for airing issues and complaints, even small ones, about our husbands. Every time I read or hear about backbiting, I think about the fact that it includes talking about people or interactions that they would not like you speaking of, even if what you say is true. In addition, if we follow the Sunnah, then we must make 70 excuses for our brother... surely that applies to husbands as well?

Also, just as we have a side to the story, there is most certainly another side which is also valid, albeit from another viewpoint. We even fall into the danger of slandering our husbands if we say something we believe about them that isn't true and simply our own reasoning.

Most certainly we as women have a strong need to communicate and feel understood, supported, and that we are not alone in our boat of little marital issues. However, the most helpful One to communicate with is Allah, subhaana wa taala, and He often guides us to a more balanced realization. Allah also blesses us with patience, and opportunities to address issues when the time is right, with our husbands.

I've only been married for seven years, so I'm hardly a seasoned veteran at it, but I have practised "taking it to Allah," and to this day had the better results than I could ever have imagined... and a successful marriage masha'Allah.

I want to remind myself and my sisters to safeguard their fasting and ibadah by avoiding this dangerous area as far as possible. If upon our death our husbands are pleased with us and we have practised our Islam well, we may enter Jennah through any gate we choose. How's that for a good deal?

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