Monday, August 16, 2010

Discipline: The Lying Down Treatment

As salaamu alaikum wa Rahmat Allah wa Barakatuh,

Never forget the ahadith about sitting and lying down if you are angry insha'Allah. This can be a useful and Sunnah tool for assisting our children (and ourselves, LOL) in dealing with our negative feelings. Although sometimes it may require you to hold your child down, if they are throwing a tantrum make them lie down.

Prophet Mohammad (s) had advised us that when angry, one should try to change his body position. Meaning, if you’re standing up, sit down. In hadith reported in Ahmad and Tirmidhi (#1322), Allah’s Messenger (s) said, “When one of you becomes angry while standing he should sit down. If the anger leaves him, well and good; otherwise he should lie down.”

In another hadith (#1331) reported in Al Tirmidhi by AbuSa’id al Khudri, the Prophet (s) said, “Some are swift to anger and swift to cool down, the one characteristic making up for the other; some are slow to anger and slow to cool down, the one characteristic making up for the other; but the best of you are those who are slow to anger and swift to cool down, and the worst of you are those who are swift to anger and slow to cool down.” He continued, “Beware of anger, for it is a live coal on the heart of the descendant of Adam. Do you not notice the swelling of the veins of his neck and the redness of his eyes? So when anyone experiences anything of that nature he should lie down and cleave to the earth.”

There is also advice from our Prophet, SAW, to make wudhu, which redirects one's thoughts.

The rationale for making wudu and praying when angry is explained by the Prophet (s) in a hadith related by Atiyya As-Sa’di in Sunan Abu Dawood (#2227): “AbuWa’il al-Qass said: We entered upon Urwah ibn Muhammad ibn as-Sa’di. A man spoke to him and made him angry. So he stood and performed ablution; he then returned and performed ablution, and said: My father told me on the authority of my grandfather Atiyyah who reported the Apostle of Allah (peace be upon him) as saying: Anger comes from the devil, the devil was created of fire, and fire is extinguished only with water; so when one of you becomes angry, he should perform ablution.

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