Monday, August 16, 2010

What Polygany Can Be

BismIllah wa as salaamu alaykum to all my sisters.

Imagine having a huge responsibility put upon you; a job so big that you are overwhelmed at all it entails. You have to have incredible self-control, exercise wisdom and psychology in your every word, maintain a home, encourage all that pleases Allah, keep all the incidents and imperfections a secret from others, be attractive, fun, pleasing, interesting, attentive, and perhaps also raise a child or 3, or 5, or 10.

Nobody has enough time to be all she should be to her husband and also fulfill her duties to her Rabb, her children, her extended family, her sisters and neighbors. If she really thinks she is doing everything and covering all the bases, just ask her husband if there is something he would like her to do, or to do with her, if she had more time. If he is honest, there will always be something....because something always has to "give." Either she takes time away from her children to tend the home and prepare pleasing food, or she takes time from her seeking of knowledge and Quran to make herself attractive for her husband. Perhaps she doesn't do her hair the way he likes best because she took the time to listen to a sister in need. We haven't even touched on her keeping up family ties, having visits or phone calls with friends, or going for Quran, tajweed, tafseer, hadith, fiqh classes. So many things are omitted due to a lack of time. Many sisters struggle to find 5 minutes to truly pray in peace with khushoo.

Now just imagine that you have all the joys of a husband, children perhaps, and yet you also have the time to attend classes and increase your knowledge and closeness to Allah. In addition, you can maintain the ties of family and friendship on a regular basis. You have time to tend to your children and give them the attention they need. You have time to get good rest, tend to yourself and make yourself attractive and well groomed. You even have time to try out some new recipes and surprise your husband with some special meals and treats.

How can it be possible? What could happen to make all that a reality? Some high tech robot? A special speed-cleaning program? Not at all. Polygany can make it all possible.

shaytaan loves us to think of what we lose in situations. Polygany is one of his favorite playgrounds, where he can push us to think that the glass is half empty or even totally empty! Audhu b'Illahi min asshaytaan ir rajeem! However, once you think of all you have to gain from polygany, you will realise that it is actually a huge help in being successful in this dunya and the aakhirah, inshaa'Allah. It's like splitting a heavy work load between two employees instead of piling it all on one.

Polygany is a Sunnah...and everything practised and modeled by our beloved Prophet, sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam, is for the good and best end.


  1. asalam alaykum, I agree. But most sisters this would be the ultimate heart break...strange because the people who promoted the idea of polygany when they were married start to make excuses. For me, I have no problems.

  2. You've got a point... and I wish it was so easy to take... Still struggling Mai... still 'fighting the ghost'... Yah Allah!!! ..send a prayer for me when you can!! Hugs :D

  3. It's all about attitude, and I'll keep saying it til the day I die insha'Allah. Allah has given us control over out psyche, you choose to be miserable, it will be, you choose to be positive it will be. Fight off Shaytan with optimism and taqwah! Remeber Allah is always watching and even the littlest good deed is never without it's reward. May Allah bless all of you and ease your dificulties Amen.